A Court of Shifting Realities

Chapter Thirteen

I wake up and know I'm still in Velaris. It's dark outside, the moonlight drifting in through the open balcony doors.

A figure stands on the balcony, looking out to the town filled with twinkling lights and wondering people. His forearms are braced on the railing, his body tense as shadows tangle with his fingers.

They start to creep towards me on the bed, and that's when Azriel turns around. He sees I'm awake, but doesn't move to come closer. He just stares at me. And I stare back.

I don't know how to feel about him right now. For one, I've been in love with this male for a year now and I can't just look past all of that. But he stood and watched as Rhysand tore into my mind and walked away with the sound of my screams ringing in his ears.

I don't know how to get past that either.

I sit up, breaking eye contact with him to look around. I'm surprised to just be back in the same room they put me in before. No cement walls or chains.

The only evidence of what Rhysand had done in the hallway is the splitting headache I have. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to ease the pain. It doesn't work very well.

I look back at Azriel to see he moved into the room and closed the balcony doors. He doesn't seem like he's about to say something so I start the conversation. The silence was making me uncomfortable now.

"Where's Rhysand?" I ask the first thing that comes to mind. As much as I fell in love with Rhys while reading about him, I am scared as fuck of him right now. If he couldn't get past my shields, would he try again?

"With Feyre." Azriel pauses, moving to sit in a chair placed in the corner of the room. "There was an explosion in one of the buildings while we were meeting. That was what caused the noise. It was created by a group of citizens that believe in the prophecy about you. They wanted to draw you out, get you alone."

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say because Azriel basically just told me that all of this is my fault. That these people just want me dead and if I would just leave, everything would stop.

"The building that was blown up was Feyre's art studio. All of her paintings and supplies were in there, which Rhys doesn't really care about. But what he does care about is the fact that before we had all met at the estate, Feyre and Nyx were at the studio while Feyre painted. And if Rhys hadn't went to get them to have that meeting, they would have been in there when it blew."

My eyes grow wide as realization hits me. That's why Rhysand was so angry. He's scared. He has a child and a mate that he needs to protect and I'm the cause of putting them in danger.

"Did it work?" I ask. My brain is scattering in a million different directions but for some reason lands on that. "Did he get through my shields?"

Azriel shrugs and leans back in his chair, "He got glimpses. For some reason your shield is almost impossible to get through." Azriel's suspension is thick in the air.

"I wasn't resisting if that's what you're assuming. I have no idea why he can't get through my shield. I have nothing to hide anymore." I look down at my hands, picking at my fingernails. A habit that came with my anxiety.

"Anymore." Azriel repeats. I look up to see him looking at me with such intent that I feel the need to scoot away from him to get away from his gaze. I don't, though. I stay right where I am.

"Did you catch the people responsible?" There is no way a few Fae can get away with blowing up a building right underneath the most powerful High Lord and Lady's noses.

Azriel nods, not to my surprise, "They have been dealt with." Is all he says.

"And what about me?" I ask, looking to the wall in front of me to avoid his eyes, "how will I be dealt with?" I hear him stand, but I don't dare look at him.

"Is it true?" Azriel sits on the bed next to me, placing his hand on the mattress to lean on it, "That we're all characters and don't actually exist where you come from?"

I look into his eyes now and I find curiosity. But I also find confusion and a little bit of fascination. I don't know what to say, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"I fell in love with you before I came here." I try to keep my eyes on him, but they slide over to the wall behind his head, "I knew you before you even knew I existed. I thought about you constantly even when people called me crazy for loving a fictional character." I laugh at myself for how stupid I must sound. How pathetic I feel.

"I know almost everything that has happened since Feyre first went to the Spring Court. That's where the books start. And they end right after Nyx was born." I stop and look at him. His face is completely neutral but I can see his emotions swirling in his eyes. I thought he would be weirded out by this, but he seems to just be in shock.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah- yes. I'm okay. I just... that's a lot." Azriel seems to be at a loss for words.

I don't say anything. For the millionth time in the past two days I have no idea what to say. I never know what to do or say or how to fix things when they seem so hopeless. I look down at my fingers, take a deep breath, and look back up at the love of my life.

"I'm going back to my reality. I won't be coming back. I've caused too much damage here and there is no point in me staying if you hate me." I say quickly, feeling the tears fill my eyes, "I came here for you. And I'm grateful for the time you gave me. So, thank you."

He's not looking at me. His eyes are on the wall behind me as he slowly closes them, breathing in deeply to let it out. I cup his chin with my hand and bring his eyes to mine.

"Thank you, Azriel." I whisper, leaning forward to kiss him softly. His mouth closes over mine and I bask in the taste of him. I will never forget this.

He breaks away first, his hazel eyes meeting mine and it takes everything in me to not cry at the thought of never seeing him again. I promise myself that I will become an artist so I can draw him over and over until I get it perfect.

I'll paint and draw and color until his eyes swirl with emotion. Until his jaw is harsh and his lips soft. Until his smile is bracketed with parentheses that only form when he's truly happy. And his face is lit up like it always did once he saw me.

I trace his face with my finger tips, memorizing the lines, the colors, the shapes. I lock everything in place so I never forget. I lock in his laugh, his voice, his chuckle, his humming. And I store them all in my heart to keep with me forever.

"Goodbye, Azriel." I say, my sob finally breaking through.

"Goodbye, Winnie." He whispers, a tear slipping down his cheek. He crushes his mouth to mine once more.

And then... he's gone.

To Be Continued...