Madam Momus and Her Dirty Diaries.

Epilogue - Boo, Bitch

"Babe, it's the perfect costume."

Wesley held up what was supposed to be a cabbage costume. He had spent the last two hours explaining how there's this cabbage vendor who keeps getting his stall knocked over and that he was dressed as the vendor, and I would be the cabbages. When he saw I wasn't reciprocating his excitement about the costume he lowered it.

The bed dipped under his weight when he sat next to me. He pulled me into his embrace and kissed me on top of my head. "You don't have to go if you're not up for it. You must be exhausted."

Being eight and a half months pregnant will have that effect on you. I was also hoping to finish my second book before my baby arrived. The life of an author is an erratic one. Sometimes you're burning with so many ideas that you don't sleep for weeks, then there were days when you couldn't string a sentence together and that stress of that kept you up longer. Add the turmoil baby cooking put your body through and you've got an underslept and over-emotional River Coleman.

"No, I promised Gemma I was going to be there."

Today was Gemma's seventh birthday party, and she had been excited about this for a while. She believed seven was her lucky number and she told her dad she wanted a huge bash. Silas couldn't resist his daughter's outlandish requests, so he agreed.

Gemma's birthday fell on a Thursday this year, so she had to wait for Saturday to celebrate. Which was today.

Today was also Halloween, hence the Avatar The Last Airbender dress up theme and Wesley making me dress up as some mad man's cabbages.

Maybe he was subtly making fun of how round I had become. Shit, there go the tears. I know in the back of my mind he wasn't but you can't reason with pregnancy hormones.

"Babe," he crooned, gently wiping my tears. "We'll stay in."

"I'll tell her, you and baby Coleman are exhausted." He rubbed my swollen belly and I couldn't stop the sudden flood of emotion. Wesley had been an absolutely dream these past seven months. It's amazing how a baby on the way softens a man.

After wiping my tears, I shot him a stern look. "Baby Sykes."

Baby Coleman was what Gemma nicknamed my baby, no matter how many times I explained to her that because I was in a relationship with Wesley, it was baby Sykes. In her, now, seven year old mind it didn't make sense because I was the one carrying the baby.

And so the nickname stuck. Especially because Wesley and I didn't know what the gender of the baby.

I let out a sigh after convincing myself I could do this. "Help me into the damn cabbage."

Three hours later I was sweeting like OJ Simpson in court and waddling up to Silas' front door. Wesley nervously walked beside me, holding my hand. Ever since I got pregnant, my face had this amazing ability to always meet the floor. Jesus, I had to be the clumsiest pregnant lady alive, this baby was going to be born with a skull made of vibranium.

"You ok babe?"

"Yeah, yeah." I nodded, trying to sound reassuring whilst ignoring the sweat trickling down my back. If I so much as utter a complaint Wesley will shut this whole thing down and take me home.

But I promised Gemma I'd be here. Wesley knocked on the door and Silas opened, the cool air from his AC and the sound of a dozen screaming children hit me.

"Hey guys, come in." I could practically see Silas blush in his flying bison outfit. He looked like an upright standing cow with brown horns and a huge arrow going down the middle of his forehead.

Wesley didn't even try to hold back his laugh.

"You're horrible Sykes." Silas said laughing at himself. "Wait till baby Coleman comes along-"