RUB A DUB

Chapter 3

Sirius came to visit the second day, but Madam Pomfrey told him he couldn't get visitors, so he came back to his dorm stammered. He was trying to listen to Mary's advice and not overthink everything, but he couldn't help but think Remus sickness somehow had something to do with him. He knew he shouldn't care that much but it was something really hard when it came to anything Remus-related.

The holidays came to an end and when everyone was back at school, Sirius still hadn't talked to Remus. At the second he saw Mary he took her in an empty room and started rambling.
"Remus is in the hospital wing since that night and I haven't talked to him because the nurse won't let me in! I'm sure he asked her not to, please, please go visit him to see if she lets you in."
"Sirius? What the fuck? Your friend has been in the hospital wing for two weeks and the only thing you think about is if he doesn't want to talk to you? I'm going to visit him yes, but because I care for my friend! Why are you so selfish? It might be serious for fuck's sake! Have you even asked the nurse what he had?"
"No..." He said after a short pause.
"Wanker" She said, leaving him there.

Later that day Lily came to visit Remus. She was only the second person he had talked to since that night, except from the nurse. Mary had come to see him an hour before. They had a quick talk about how he was feeling and if he needed anything, then she had to leave to do her homework. Lily came in, smiling despite the deep frown of worry on her face. She had a few books in her arms, carrying it like an offrand.
"Hi" She said sweetly. "How are you feeling?"
"A bit better thanks. It's nothing serious don't worry, I'll be out soon."
"Cool. I brought you some books to kill time."
"Thanks, that's really thoughtful." He smiled.
She was one of his closest friends apart from the boys. They used to talk about everything and anything, and he had missed her the most during the holidays. It was good to see her again.
"Lily?"
"Yes?"
"I have to tell you something. Something- something happened during the holidays. And I think that's why I'm here."
"What?" She asked, a worried look on her face. "What happened?"
"You know how I've been trying to do my first time... well... it happened."
"Oh really?" she shined, but quickly frowned again "Did you get an STD? Is that why you're here? Remus I told you to put a condom on! That's not hard for fuck's sake!"
"No no nothing like that! And I did put a condom on don't worry."
"Okay... What happened then?" She asked, perplex.
"Well... promise me you won't tell anyone."
"You know I won't!"
"Okay, okay... So... You know how Sirius and Mary often fuck in the dorm."
"Yes..."
"Well she stayed a few days during the holidays to spend time with Sirius."
"What does it have to do with your first time?"
Pause.
"They asked me for a threesome." He blurted looking down, his cheeks now turning crimson.
Lily didn't respond for a minute so he looked up to see chock written all over her face.
Then she started yelling "YOU DID YOUR FIRST TIME WITH-"
Remus covered her mouth with his hands and gritted through his teeth "Shhh, shhhh", glaring at her with a mix of death wishes and panic in his eyes.
"Sorry, sorry. But you did your first time with Mary and Sirius???" She whispered almost chocking.
"Yes..."
"And what does it have to do with you being sick?" She frowned.
"Well..."
"Yes?" She looked at him expectantly.
"I kind of liked it... a bit too much." He bit his lip.
"You don't make any sense you know? Why would liking sex make you sick?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Well what did you mean?"
"I meant... that I liked having sex with a boy." He sighed.
"Yeah... and a girl... I don't get your point. If you're about to tell me 'that's a sin' and you're contaminated or whatever homophobic shit you're thinking about right now I'm gonna hit you in the face right there!"
"I'm attracted to Sirius! Lily!"
"Okay but that doesn't make you sick!"
"I'm having a proper full on gay crisis right now! And I couldn't look him in the face after that! I came to the hospital wing to hide."
"So you're not sick?!"
"Well I wasn't. But then I started throwing up every other day so. I don't know what to do with myself Lily, and that's making me really anxious."
"You haven't talked to him since then?"
"Of course not."
She sighed. "Well, you're gonna have to, when you'll go back to class you're going to see him everyday."
"I can't."
"You're in the same dorm Remus, what are you gonna do? Sleep outside?"
"Yeah probably..."
"But it's winter! And that's not even the point you-"
"You're right... I should buy a tent!"
"God you're pathetic. You AREN'T gonna sleep outside Remus, trust me."
"Why?"
"Why? Cause I'm gonna kidnap you and force you to speak to him if it's what it takes to make you get better. Physically AND mentally."
"He! You wouldn't... right?"
"Kidnap you maybe not but the rest yes."
"I'd prefer you kidnap me to be honest..."
"You're hopeless."
They changed subject and Lily left fifteen minutes later.
Remus was now on his own, again, but felt slightly better than the hour before.

The next day he didn't throw up and Madam Pomfrey decided it was time he'd go back to his dorm, with the instruction to come back for a check up everyday for the next week. Remus wasn't happy about it but he knew his miraculous sickness wouldn't last for life and he'd have to go back to class someday. At least it had lasted long enough for his friends to come back, so he wouldn't be stuck with Sirius alone.
He went to his dorm to take a shower and change before going to dinner in the great hall. When he arrived everyone at the end of the Gryffindor table turned to look at him. They were all surprised to see him, not looking sick at all.
"Moony! Where have you been?" yelled James, raising his hand to tell him to sit with them.
Remus complied and sat down next to Peter.
"We've missed you!" He shove him in the arm.
"Missed you too guys" he said, trying not to look anxious.
Then dinner started and everything went well. Except...
Except Sirius didn't look up nor talked to Remus for the whole meal. And it was fucking frustrating.
He knew he should be happy as he didn't want to talk to him anyway, but Sirius ignoring him was literally worse than anything else. He didn't know why he did that – was it awkward? Did he regret what had happened? What if he didn't want to be friend with Remus anymore? - but it was making him even more anxious and surprisingly, angry.
James was talking about some quidditch game he went to during the holidays, when Remus suddenly turned to Sirius and asked "And you Sirius, what did you do during the holidays?"
James stopped talking. Sirius raised his head, puzzled. "What do you mean? I stayed there."
"Yeah, but you must have done some interesting stuff. Maybe discovered some new places in the castle, wandered somewhere we never had been before. Done something you shouldn't have...?" Silence. "Or did you stay in your room jerking off?" Remus said, trying to get a reaction from him.
Sirius ears turned red. He was looking at Remus straight in the eyes, not daring to look away.
"I don't know, mate. I haven't done anything you don't already know about."
"Plus there isn't any place we haven't discovered yet." intervened Peter.
They both looked at him, finally stopping to look each other in the eyes. Peter shrugged, oblivious, and they moved on from the conversation.

When they got back to the tower, Sirius run to the girls dorm. He was looking forward to the moment he could disappear since Remus arrived at dinner, and even more since that conversation. He grabbed Mary in the common room and dragged her to her bed, pulling the curtains and making a silencing spell right away.
"For god's sake Sirius! You couldn't have waited?" She shouted.
"He hates me. He asked me about what I did during the holidays. He talked about doing something I shouldn't have done and jerking off."
"What? Sirius can you be more clear?"
He then proceeded to explain the whole conversation in details.
"Okay, I see why you think he hates you, but truly you should talk to him. Maybe he didn't even mean what you think he did. Maybe he really wanted to know what you had done during the holidays?" She suggested.
"Yeah I don't think so." Sirius said narrowing his eyes.
"Well, anyway, you should talk to him."
"Ugh... But to say what?" He asked, dramatically letting himself fall on the bed.
"I don't know. Clear things. Tell him you're worried he's mad at you and you don't want to loose your friend?"
"Hm, I could do that maybe."
"Great! Now you can leave my room and go back to yours!" She smiled, pushing him off the bed.
He gasped. "Oi! So it was all a plan to get rid of me!" He said, trying to look offended.
She laughed. "Of course! It's exhausting to be friend with such a drama queen."
"Okay! Okay! I'm leaving now! But you won't ever see me again." He said, getting up.
"Don't forget to talk to him!" She called while he went through the door.
"Tomorrow!" He shouted back.