RUB A DUB

Chapter 1

It's been a few weeks now. Remus hears them every fucking night, and he can't stand it anymore. Well he doesn't hear them usually because of the silencing spell, but he knows they're here, every night, fucking in his dorm. He knows it because he smells them. He smells sweat and sex, and that's the worst thing ever. He hears her walk in every night around eleven thirty, go to his bed, and cast the silencing spell. They could have a bit of modesty and do it somewhere else, where there's not other people sleeping for god's sake.
Now it's the Christmas holidays and Remus hoped that would stop cause she'd go away for the holidays but guess what, she stayed a few more days to be there with Sirius. And worst of all they must have forgotten he was there too, cause they didn't make any silencing spell tonight.
At first he was surprised when they started dating. He was friends with Mary long before Sirius even knew her name, so he'd thought she'd have told him. But he'd started realize there wasn't much between them, except for their night meetings. A group of first year had surprised them in an embarrassing situation and decided to tell the whole Gryffindor common room that Sirius Black had a girlfriend. They didn't want to tell the truth, that they were only "fuck-buddies", so they played along with it. They started wearing each other clothes, cuddle in the common room, and nobody asked any more question when they both mysteriously disappeared daily.

A few weeks before...
It was Sirius 16th birthday. They had planned a big party in the Griffindor common room, and the last years had brought some alcohol to initiate Sirius when they learnt he had never drank any. The party started early and by 10pm most of them were already drunk. He was buzzing and feeling a bit dizzy, and started looking for his friends to tell them about some crazy idea he just had for a new prank. He went to look in their dorm, even tho it was unlikely they already went to sleep.
That's when he saw Remus snogging with that girl. She was a Ravenclaw, Remus must have invited her. Sirius started to feel hot and so much uncomfortable he couldn't move. They were by the windowsill, kissing harshly and drunkenly. She started undressing him and that's when that became too much. Sirius bursted out of the dorm feeling angrier than he ever had. How could he kiss her like that? Why did he allow her to touch him? Why was he interested in her when he could have anybody? Yeah she was pretty, for sure, but still. He was jealous. He was so jealous and he knew he didn't have any right to be angry. Remus was one of his best friends and that little stupid crush had to stop right now or it would ruin what they already had. He couldn't risk that. Overall he didn't have any chance, Remus was straight and he knew that.

He already had to figure out his sexuality this summer because of this and it was a big mess. They all spent the summer at James house and spent days lurking near the river and swimming. It was all really fun, until Sirius started noticing the small changes puberty had caused on Remus. He was taller and stronger, and his face had started changing. Between them all he looked the oldest and started resembling a man. His hair had grown a bit too long and he was now the most beautiful among them, after Sirius obviously. Sirius started looking at him more. He felt a strange feeling when doing so and didn't know what it was. At first he thought he was jealous because he didn't get any changes from puberty except that he smelled stronger, and that was something he truly could have done without. Time passed by and he tried ignoring that feeling, but it was always there when he looked at him, and never with the others. It grew stronger and stronger, and on an afternoon coming back from the river alone early because he had unexpectedly grown hard looking at Remus, he had to acknowledge he was attracted to him. He told the others he was tired and wanted to go home, but the truth was he was so embarrassed and so stressed out he couldn't look them in the eyes, scared that somehow they would read his mind and discover his dirty little secret he had just learned of.
After realizing he was attracted to boys – which was already groundbreaking - he had a hard time figuring out what he actually was. He knew labels were only words but he was scared he'd have to come out to someone and wouldn't even know what to say if they asked him. In the end, he settled on bisexual since he had liked girls before, and that was that. His obsession with David Bowie grew even bigger when he learnt he too was bi. He thought he was so cool, and it helped him a lot getting more comfortable with that still tough subject.