𝖘𝖎𝖝

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Being on the bus has always calmed Daisy Cohen. She's not sure why, whether it's the whirr of the engine, the street lights flashing past overhead... or whether it's something deeper: on the way to somewhere different, forgetting who she is for a few hours and existing only in transit to her next destination. Either way, she finds a comfy spot staring out of the window, a crocheted blanket covering her and Renee's bodies and protecting them from the world around.

Daisy dozes off as they're passing through Charlotte, her mind finally exhausted enough to sink into unconsciousness. She dreams of her brother, screaming at her with a voice that could deafen the city, pulling at her hair until she tears free, chunks of black locks still twisted in his fingers. She dreams of playing on a court that stretches on forever, the plexiglass walls tinted black and getting tighter around her every second. She dreams of a huge darkness washing over her, that euphoric dreamland that she only needs a crushed tablet and a dollar bill to get to. She dreams of Kevin Day finding her in her dormitory with a needle sticking out of the soft skin below her hip bone, her lips blue and shivering violently on a balmy April evening. She dreams of herself, falling deeper and deeper into a black abyss, down into that rabbit hole that she feels her heart dropping into whenever she tries to feel anything other than her own grief.

She starts awake, her hands reaching out to grip onto something and pull herself from the depths of her own mind. Renee is the first thing she finds, and the girl is happy for Daisy to squeeze her hand until it goes numb. The rising sun gives her something to focus on, and she takes a moment to remember where she is, how she got her, who is with her. When Wymack pulls the bus into a fast food joint and climbs out with Abby to get the team food, Daisy allows herself to take one deep, rattling breath.

"Are you okay?" Renee asks, reaching out to touch Daisy's knee. The girl stares at her with an unsettling blank look.

"No," she says. "But I will be."

She turns her nose up at the veggie burger Abby offers her. The woman nods with sad eyes and Daisy almost considers forcing the meal down just to please her, but she knows that Abby would realise what she's doing when she hears the girl throwing it back up later on. There's only so much the others can do to make her recovery possible; some things her body just needs time to get used to.

There's a gentle tap on her shoulder. Daisy turns slowly to see Kevin leaning over from two seats behind her, brandishing a choc-chip protein bar at her. "You've gotta eat something," he says. Daisy's hard glare eases a little as she takes the bar and unwraps it. It's a little squished from being packed into his bag, but she's grateful. The softening of her eyes when she looks back at him tells him all he needs to know, and he falls back into his seat.

"That was very nice of him," Renee whispers to her. Daisy nods.

"He just doesn't want me to pass out in public," replies Daisy. It takes her the last half-hour of their journey to finish the bar, but she's glad she does.

The Foxes file off the bus slowly, all still half-asleep. The upperclassmen haven't helped themselves; they decided an impromptu drinking session after Daisy left was in order, and Dan's dry-retching on the bus made them all feel the alcohol churning within them. Daisy's glasses are jammed tightly onto her face, and she regrets not bringing a pair of contacts with her. The early morning sunlight seems to double through the lenses; she holds her hand up to shield her face and almost smacks Nicky in the face with her elbow.

"Sorry," mumbles Daisy. Nicky shrugs it off, too tired to give half a shit. They started on their slow march to the building, a procession of fuck-ups and has-beens that have somehow caught the attention of one of the top-rated talk show hosts in the country. Daisy turns her head just in time to see Kevin's morbid expression flick to the Kevin Day Television Smile, one she's only seen a handful of times in person. Kathy Ferdinand herself meets them halfway across the parking lot, a bright grin on her face that Daisy knows is only achieved through prescription pills.

𝖋𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 ⋆ 𝕶𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖓 𝖉𝖆𝖞Where stories live. Discover now