𝖋𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 ⋆ 𝕶𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖓 𝖉𝖆𝖞

𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

Before the sun rises, this is her domain. The ice cold air, the fluorescent lights overhead, the whirring of equipment... she feels at home here. The sweat that drips from her brow stakes her territory. The only ones to see her are the security cameras that she knows nobody is watching. It's a stark contrast from her current life, where it seems all eyes are on her all the time.

She lifts weights. She bench-presses and squats and deadlifts, because she feels weak. As days go by, she feels more in control of her body. She loves being connected with herself, being able to feel each muscle doing it's job as she lifts dumbbells, her legs shaking and her arms aching. It makes her feel alive. It makes her feel something.

Her time with the Foxes has made her feel a thousand times more human than she did the day Coach picked her up. Renee and Dan have been doing the most to make sure Daisy is always comfortable, and never alone. It's these brief moments of solitude, jogging on a treadmill or pressing weights under a squat rack, that Daisy cherishes. She loves the girls, or rather, she feels the closest to love that she can feel, but sometimes it's stifling. Especially at training.

The days drag slowly. Classes haven't resumed yet, they won't for another week, and their first game is around the corner. The team is more fractured than ever; both Seth and Andrew refuse to play with Kevin for their own reasons, nobody trusts the new kid, Aaron and Andrew's feud has gotten worse than ever, and everybody is tip-toeing around Daisy. The only person who isn't is Kevin, and that's because at every given moment he's either ignoring her or screaming in her face that she's not doing enough. Daisy feels like if he saw her broken body emptying her stomach over the toilet after every training session, he'd realise that yes, she was doing enough.

Coach has warned her she's going beyond her limits, but she simply doesn't care enough to stop. The one thing that makes her feel the most alive, the most connected with the earth around her, is the thing that's killing her. She keeps odd hours; she naps during lunch breaks and after they're done training, then goes back to the court until she knows Andrew, Kevin, and the new kid will arrive and heads to the gym instead. Her days are backwards and strange; she knows this because Allison tells her every day.

The only stable thing in her life is herself. The others don't get it; she prays that they never will. Some days she eats everything she sets her eyes on; other days the only thing she can stomach is a single protein shake sipped over a few hours. Her bones are they're on fire, but she can trust that that pain will go away and be replaced by the numbness she feels off court. This is all she has, and if she loses it... she doesn't know what she'll do.

Daisy gets to the court first, as usual. She doesn't know what day it is, what time it is, if they're even training here this morning or meeting at the gym. But when the time eventually ticks around, the Foxes enter the court to see Daisy firing balls at the opposite wall as always. There's a scuff on the glass where her aim is; the single spot she's been firing at for the last hour. It's impressive, watching her scoop balls and fire them at a tiny spot on the wall over and over.

"Damn," comments Nicky. "She may be screwed up, but she's still got it in her."

"Everybody on court," Kevin instructs. "Stop watching her."

He's been strange since she came back. Everybody knows their past, how close they were before Daisy had to leave. They were rarely seen apart, visiting the court and gym together, bunkering down in each other's dorm rooms to watch live games or old reruns... and now, it's all changed. Kevin won't say her name, he won't even reference the girl. He calls her '13' on court because that's her number and he has to talk to her sometimes, but outside of the game he avoids her like the plague. He takes his frustrations out on the rest of the team, on Neil at midnight practise. The cousins can tell that he's changed, but none are bold enough to comment because they know how torn up he was the last time he and Daisy became friends.