Trinity - Dissolved pt 2 (Ylvis)

French Kiss

I stand outside the doors to the auditorium and I can hear how Bård and Vegard are talking inside. I try to open the door as quiet as I possibly can and sneak in but the boys knows that I'm gonna be late and they have their eyes on the door so when I open it they shout to me.

- Hello! Maja is it? This isn't good, being late like this. Bård admonish me.

Fuck you Bård. You just shut your mouth or I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you in your sleep the next time you come crawling down beside me in bed.

- Yes Maja, this is not good at all. Bård, we have to do something about this. Vegard turns to Bård and smirks.

What the fuck Vegard?! Do you want to die too? Didn't I just give you a blow job? I still have the taste of your fucking sperm in my mouth and you and your stupid idiot of a brother just decide to make a fool out of me. Thanks guys, really. I knew I shouldn't have done this.

I'm so mad I could cry. Or scream. Or hit someone. Or all three. While I've been thinking, I've been walking down to them without even thinking about it so I'm standing right before them now. I glare at them, completely wild in my eyes and my hair is in such a mess I must look completely crazy. I think they get that I don't really appreciate any of this. Everybody in the auditorium is quiet except for Vegard and Bård. They whisper to me

- Maja, just play along. Let's pretend this is a joke. A skit. Something. Please? I'm so sorry babe. Vegard looks genuinely sorry. Of course, he wouldn't do this to hurt me.

- Fine. But you two are dead when we come home. Okay?

I'm still mad but I do as they say and play along, improvise, and everybody laugh and applaud. I guess it was a success. I'm not that happy though. I sit down beside Vegard and refuse to look at him. He tries to get some sort of response from me but he has little success in that area right now. Bård is on stage, reading the names of those happy people who got something to do during Christmas and New Years. They aren't gonna get paid but it's valuable experience.

Vegard still tries to get some reaction from me without any success so he looks a little like a sad dog when he enters the stage to read the names of those who didn't get a job. Well, I guess it's fitting to not look happy when giving a bad notice. Bård stays at the stage and they talk a little back and forth but I don't really listen. Lea comes and sits down beside me, she's of course curious why I was involved in the little skit. I don't really know what to answer so I mumble something about meeting Vegard on my way here and he remembered me since the audition and asked me. Something like that. She buys it.

- So, what do you think it means that we are last? I mean, they haven't told us if we're out or in. I'm dying. Do you think it means we have some sort of lead role? She's so excited she can't sit still.

- Probably not. I might sound a little grumpy but I'm not in a mood for her shit.

- You're so negative Maja. You shouldn't be here. Why don't you just leave. They don't want someone who's so negative. They don't want you. She points at me.

- And what the fuck do you know about that?! I scream at her. I'm so mad I just can't help myself. I'm mad at Vegard and Bård and I'm mad at Lea and I'm just mad. So what if I'm negative right now? I know exactly what they want and I know that I should be sitting up there, with the yes-people and if it weren't for their little skit I would be, but everything backfired and here I'm sitting with the person I probably like the least on the whole university. The person I'm just being nice to because none else is. Why the hell do I even have to be so damn nice all the time, taking care of the outcasts? Fuck this!

Everybody in the whole auditorium hears my little outburst and they see me leave my seat and walk out the door. Vegard and Bård look at each other and don't know what to do. They whisper to each other, not that I see that but Erik tells me later, and then Bård runs after me.