Arranged

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We can work at our own pace and still be successful"
- Rupi Kaur

When I finally returned to the house from my Emerson moment, I felt almost refreshed in a way.

As I reached the kitchen, I found $150 and a small note laying out on the counter. I picked it up and read it to myself :

Miss Rowan, this should cover any expenses you'll need on your way home. Below you'll find the number to the Parker's chauffeur services. I wish you would stay, but if it isn't what you truly want, go and bloom your own lotus."

I stood there, dumbfounded for a very long time. Delia was so dead set on me staying, why would she ever give me a means out of this?

I ran a hand through my hair, I felt awful. She could be fired if Kai ever found out she gave me anything to leave. Taking Delia's hard earned money, would always make me feel guilty.

I stared at the bundle of crumpled tens. I couldn't do that. Not to her.

I could never go out and bloom my own lotus, on a foundation of someone else's money and potential termination. I wanted my freedom to be my own, and without someone getting hurt.

Against my heart and everything in between, I decided to stay.... for now.

I'd give Kai one last chance to try, if he failed, then I couldn't ever blame myself for leaving.

I picked up the money and the note and went upstairs. Placing it in my bedside drawer in my room. I'd give it to her personally when I saw her next. I owed her an apology and some gratitude.

~

For two days straight, I spent all of my time (except for meals) in the garden. I didn't see Delia at all, which puzzled me since she had said she would be here to "keep an eye on me." It didn't bother me though, everyone needed some privacy and peace. I know I did.

As serene as it all felt, something was off.

Seeing the small animals and birds flit around the garden made me feel almost nostalgic in a way. As if I missed the freedom that they had, even though I've never known that complete privilege.

Being allowed to come and go, do things for yourself, and never have to answer to anyone about your private choices seemed more luxurious to me than all of the money in the world.

But you can't always get want you want.

I knew that all too well.

The trees swayed in the breeze, as a blue bird flew past my peripheral and perched on a branch of a willow that sulked in the corner.

It was so peaceful I didn't want to leave, but night was beginning to fall and soon it would be too dark to stay and sit.

Wanting to wait until dusk to enjoy the little time I would have out there before going in, I sat against the fencing and watched the small squirrels play and scurry back and forth between the bushes.

The sun was starting to dip below the tree line which gave me an obvious signal to turn in for the night, however I still wanted to wait.

The animals around the garden fell scarce which made watching them in addition to the growing darkness, turn quite difficult.

I felt my eye lids drooping, but was too lazy to move. The breeze was gentle, and the air was crisp with a small summer night nip to top it off.