𝘼𝙙 𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙢 𝙀𝙩 𝘼𝙙 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙪𝙢 // P. Ballard

Ch 11

   The wails of an infant child wake me. Last night I had the strangest dream, I was in love. I was in love with a stranger, a man who's name I could not place. He was tall, very tall. And fair. Though, he had no face; it was just blurry. But that is not the pressing issue at hand, I must attend to the crying child.

   "There there," I say, picking up the baby. She is very very small. I check her diaper, it seems to be empty. I rub circles on her back as I rock her but she continues to fuss. Perhaps she is hungry? Instinctively, I unbutton my shirt, freeing my heavy breast. Have they always been this large?

   She latches onto my boob, it's the weirdest sensation. But she's quiet now. I let her drink as much as she needs before she removes herself from my boob. I reclothe myself and put her up to my shoulder to burp her.

   I pat her back gently until she's settled and bring her back down so I am cradling her in my arms. What a cute little baby. I rock her back and forth until she is sound asleep in my arms. I place her back in the bassinet and leave the room.

   Now that I think about it, where am I? I have no recollection of my surroundings, or even who I am as a person. Wait, wait yes I do. Last time I was awake I was talking to the older man, Papa. He told me who I was.

   He said I had a brain injury and that I might never remember anything again. But that's it. He didn't tell me anything else. If I wasn't anymore the wiser I'd almost think that I had a more interesting life than the one I'm leading now.

   But that's nonsense. These white walls are all the excitement I have. And I'm happy with it. I think. 'Happy • feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.' Yes, I am contented.

   Though I am quite hungry. I stand up and leave the babe in the room as I go to where Papa said I'd find food if I was hungry, the cafeteria he called it. It wasn't far from my current location.

   I made the trek and found a tray of mushy, subpar but edible food on the tray. I sighed, sat down, and began to fiddle with it, taking bites every now and then. I was trying to eat my food when the doors swung open. It was Papa.

   "Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling today?" He asked me. I shrugged as he took a seat next to mine.

  "I am well," I stated blankly. He smiled.

  "Good, that is good. I have something you might be interested in," he started. I looked up at him with an intrigued look, urging him to go on. "I know you've been tending to the infants recently, but how would you like to spend some time with the older kids?"

   I thought about it for a moment, unsure of what I would like to do. Maybe it would be good for my mental health to get some more stimuli in my life then just feeding, burping and changing a baby's diaper all day. Though, I didn't want to leave her, either.

"Yes I think I would, but I would like to attend to the babies as well. May I do both?" I negotiated.

"Yes, I think you could. Why don't you finish that up and then come meet me at the rainbow room" he suggested. I nodded and he left the room.

Fifteen minutes later and now I'm outside of the rainbow room doors, it was now 3:00. I entered as Papa said he had to deal with something first and he would meet me there shortly there after. I pushed open the heavy, grey doors and saw the bright, young faces of all the children.

"Y/N!" One of the girls shouted running up to me, embracing me tightly around the hips. I smiled and patted her head as a couple other kids followed suit. I found them familiar, but no discernible memories connected to them.

"Hello, little one," I said gleefully at their excitement. The girl who started the group hug looked up at my brain, confounded look on her face. She tried to play it off, but I had noticed it. I paid no mind to it though, as that was not what I was here to take care of. "Who wants to play?"

For the next little while I played with and entertained the children. They took turns with me, some requesting to play with my hair, some playing games of I spy, ami gets other activities, that was until another presence came through the doors.

He was a tall, fair man. He also seemed familiar. I know where from, Papa told me about the other orderlies! He must have been Peter.

"Hello, Peter," I said, smiling. He seemed incredibly eager to see me. Before he could say anything though, I finished my thought. "You seem to be a little early for our shift change," I stated. He was hurt. I could feel his demeanour change entirely at that part of my sentence though he tried desperately to hide this. As if something bad was going to happen if he didn't.

"Right. I just got done my other duties early," he explained, choking back any other thoughts he may have had. With that, I stood up, smiled at him in dismissal and left. I should go check on the baby.

Hey folks! I've returned from my long slumbering hiatus of doom. I really hope that now I'll finish uploading the story and that more doesn't pop up- but I appreciate all of your comments and engagement that I've received while I was away. Sorry for the huge gap, but I'm glad to be back now! See you next chapter. I will probably not be super consistent in my updates, but I hope you understand <3