𝘼𝙙 𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙢 𝙀𝙩 𝘼𝙙 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙪𝙢 // P. Ballard

Ch 6

A/n: if your hair type ISNT compatible with the hair I've described this chapter, feel free to imagine it as something else that suits your needs !! <3

   It's been six years since I've been brought to the lab, this means I'm fifteen now. We have had two new additions to the lab in the past year, 005 and 006. Peter is still very distant from me. I've tried to get into his mind and see what's going wrong between us, but he just keeps shutting me out.

   I've been doing my best to try and include him in all of the activities I can, but he seems to be holding off well on his own. He's really good with the kids when he's in the walls of the rainbow room or the lesson rooms, but the second he's away from the young eye he goes back to being cold and harsh.

   And I'm really getting sick of it.

   Every time he sees me round a corner or come in his general vicinity he scrambles out of there in the opposite direction. Not only that, but he's been having to excuse himself more frequently. Going to the bathroom tons more. It's this weird little awkward walk he has when he gets up to go.

   "Y/N?" 004 pulls me out of my dazed like state. I look down at the girl who was sat beside me. I got so caught up in staring into where Peter had been sitting only a few seconds ago that I completely forgot that the little girl had asked me how I did my hair.

   "Right, sorry love. So, you take the hair, and you split it into three pieces," I explained as we both tried to braid separate sections of my hair. My hair had gotten very long at this point and I've been able to do all sorts of things with it now.

   Yesterday my hair was in a Dutch crown braid and she thought that I looked like the coolest person ever, but that's a little advanced for her age. A simple 3 strand braid should be good to her her started.

   As she was following along, she fumbled it a little every once and a while, but it really wasn't that bad. Pretty good for a first braid ever. Of course, I showered her with praise and compliments for her hard work and she was very proud of herself.

   After I was sure that she was satisfied with what she had done, I excused myself to the bathroom. She went off and began playing with 005. Peter kept leaving me to fend for myself alone with one of the other orderlies and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

   I told the other orderly that I just needed some water and I'd be back soon. He said he'd cover and just to be quick. I went over to where the staff bathrooms were stationed and attempted to camp there without being seen by another staff member.

   I listened cautiously to check for if Peter was even in the bathroom, and sure enough, I heard him. He sounded like his was, uncomfortable? In pain, almost. I didn't wanna be a creep, but I didn't wanna stand around and let him suffer.

   "Peter?" I called out, "Peter are you okay?"

   "Y/N? What the hell are you doing in here," he asked, he almost sounded like he was out of breath.

   "You keep leaving the rainbow room for like 20 minutes at a time, and I know you don't have a period because you're a boy, so what's taking you so long? Are you hurt? Are you seriously injured? Are you chronically ill?" I interrogated.

   He didn't say anything for a few seconds, almost as if he's trying to come up with an excuse. He mutters the start of his sentence then finally spews out something half cohesive.

   "Well, uh, that's just it, my body is different than yours. You wouldn't get it. Now get out of the bathroom!" He seemed frustrated, not mad just, pissy I guess.

   "Yeah yeah whatever, just hurry up!!"

———

   Every night, I think about what I heard in that bathroom. Is there something wrong with him? Better yet, is there something wrong with me? Even after all of this time we've spent apart, and all of this discourse between us, I feel like my emotions towards Peter are changing.

It was starting to make me angry, furious, even. All of the old feelings that I had the night after mom died, when I sought out revenge against the world, it was all back. I was mad that he was leaving me. He was going against his word, he said he wouldn't walk out of my life just like almost everyone else had, but he's been doing just that. He was abandoning me, and I wanted blood.

Yet still, I can't shake this feeling that I could never hurt him, no matter how violently enthralled I was. That I just wanted to cradle him and love him and care for him at all times, and it's the most conflicting thing in the entire world.

   Why do I feel like this towards my best friend? Is this normal for people to feel? Why after all this time is it changing now? Why do I feel... giddy around him? Like I'm all light headed and giggly, but also, hot and intense all at the same time?

   None of this makes sense. None of this at all. I crave something— but I don't know exactly what it is.

   Something fresh, something humanly,

   Something wrong.

A vote a day keeps the violent tendencies away!