26 ~ Real life

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Louisa's POV:

I did nothing but sleep and sometimes eat. My dad, who was the most held together of the three of us, made sure I ate. He also made sure I showered and got cleaned up, if not every day, then at least every other.

The funeral was going to be on Friday, the week after he passed. Thankfully, for everyone working in F1, it was a week off, and I knew the church would be packed. However, the only one I wanted to see was Henri and Santi.

I saw Santiago before I even spotted Henri. Mainly because the former was half a head taller than the latter. Santi made his way over to me quickly, wrapping me in the tightest embrace, whispering to me in Spanish how sorry he was for my loss. I'd not seen either of them since a few days before Carter died.

There were so many times while he held me, that I was about to break down. However, I still managed to keep it together. That was of course until Henri hugged me. All the sadness I felt burst out of me as I sobbed into his very expensive-looking suit. Henri didn't seem to mind though as his grip on me tightened and he whispered "I've got you", low enough for only me to hear.

I could hear Santi talking to my parents, and how softly Henri's heart beat against my ear, but other than that I tuned out everyone else.

The service was beautiful. I mean, of course, it was. My aunt had put it all together, wanting to do it for us, so my parents and I could get the time to mourn.

While we sat in the front row, listening to everyone talking, my hand kept clutching Henri's. The only times we let each other go during the service was when one of us had to go up and speak, but as soon as we sat down, he grabbed my hand again, squeezing it reassuringly. 

He was one of the guys carrying the coffin, along with my brother's co-commentator and a few family members. I walked right behind them, in between my parents, trying not to cry too hard. 

And as my brother was finally put to rest, I let myself cry fully and openly, not caring who saw as I sank down by the open lot where his coffin had been lowered. Henri rushed to me quick enough, wrapping his arms around me, as he let me cry against him, "Je t'ai, chérie, laisse tout sortir", he whispered, his hand rubbing up and down my back, slowly helping me stand, but never letting go of me.


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French to English translation:

Je t'ai, chérie, laisse tout sortir - I've got you, darling, let it all out

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