Secret smile

33

"What?" he frowned. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Are you...are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I promised you breakfast and I...there's some things I want to talk to you about."

"Things?" she frowned.

"Hmmm..." he nodded. "Stay."

"Okay," Meredith breathed.

"Good," he smiled softly. "The coffee is ready but I didn't make breakfast yet because I had no idea what you like to eat."

"I..." she took a deep breath as she stared at him. His hair was a mess, his eyes were bluer than normal, and he was just watching her. Smiling at her. She wasn't sure what it meant but...she was pretty sure she liked it. "Anything. Breakfast is good."

"Anything?"

"Pancakes, French toast...whatever you want."

"You have to have a favourite."

"Pancakes."

"I can do that," he nodded. "Pancakes or talking first?"

"Coffee. And then...you should probably say the things."

"Okay," he smiled. "Grab a cup and come sit."

"Okay," she nodded slowly, walking towards his coffee pot to pour herself a cup of coffee before sitting on the opposite end of the couch. He had things to say. Probably mean, horrible, awful things that would make her wish she had actually just never talked yesterday.

"Mer..." he sighed. "You still didn't tell me how you're doing."

"I don't...I don't know."

"Okay," he nodded, patting the spot beside him. "Come here."

"Derek, you don't have to be..."

"I'm being me," he shrugged.

"Right," she murmured softly, scooting closer to him.

"Last night was...I'm sorry and I'm trying because you're right, I was being a bad friend. And I can't be a bad friend to you."

"I shouldn't have..."

"You should have. I needed a wakeup call."

"Your family is dead, Derek. I just...I have a mess."

"Your mess is just as important as mine."

"Oh."

"Which brings me to this," he sighed, gesturing to his computer screen. "You said she was advanced but I'm not quite sure how advanced she is so I've been doing some research all morning to see what our options are."

"Our...Derek...this isn't your option, it's mine. Everything is my option," she frowned.

"No," he shook his head. "You don't have to do this alone."

"I wasn't even supposed to tell you. I wasn't...I shouldn't have told you."

"Why not?"

"I told you. She made me swear not to."

"But that's not something you should try to handle by yourself."

"I'm handling it just fine."

"Are you?" he whispered.

"I..." she took in a sharp breath as she felt her chest close and her eyes fill with tears. "She's dying, Derek."

"I know she is," he breathed.