My Liege And I

Obsession

Yuwen Hong's hand coiled into a fist.

"Shen Hong," she sighed. "We cannot avoid the truth, even when it is not what we want to hear or express."

"Whoever Li Lian is, she is about to become my empress, the past stays in the past."

Grand Dowager laughed lightly as she picked her cup of tea and sipped. "You say that because you are still in denial. If you really believed she is who I am saying she is, you would want her dead."

She placed the cup on the table and waited on Yuwen Hong as he poured more for her.

"Your mother and you are the same, that is your weakness." She shook her head in a condescending manner. "Of all human weakness, obsession is the most dangerous and the silliest."

His grandmother was indicating he was obsessed with Li Lian. He was not silly, who was silly was her, who expected him to fall into her ploys.

"You met Li Lian when you were young, and since then you wanted no one else. When you would think of her, your heart would physically hurt and the physicians would worry for you. Not to forget the shambles that occurred when we thought she had passed on, you almost died because of it, Shen Hong."

Yuwen Hong remembered the time he almost fell after Li Lian bit his neck when she was in prison. He was weakened by the memory of the girl he loved and wished for.

His grandmother was right, well partially, because she was dismissive of the prospect that people do things differently. Others work with little to no effort, while he works with all of his heart, others love merely, while he loves with all his being.

How was that a problem?

"You knew a girl for half a moon (two weeks), a normal person is infatuated at that stage, but it had you entranced for years. You were sick, to be precise, due to her absence. If that is not an obsession, I do not know what that is. No one falls in love in that short span of time."

His first meeting with Li Lian was what many people did not know of. He only told his mother and Luo Meng about it. What his grandmother was saying proved that his trust for Luo Meng was misplaced. Time and time again, Luo Meng demonstrated to be untrustworthy. What was the purpose of snitching about this?

He decided to humor her. "All right, Zhen is obsessed, Zhen understands it."

"You can't pretend to understand what you don't."

"Anything to have Her Highness leave Zhen alone. I don't think Her Highness understands what obsession is, in the first place."

"I do," she tee-heed at his accusation. "Obsession is when you follow something intensely and mercilessly. A sickness of the mind where you are addicted to indulging a person constantly. A wasteful state in which you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never getting an answer." She maintained eye contact to push the dagger deeper into him. "Let us not fool ourselves, I do not need to prove anything to you any further, Shen Hong. Deep down, you know the truth as well. You have asked your people to research her and they found answers for you, yet you stated they should not tell you the results."

His grandmother seemed to be stalking him more than he was aware of. Was there anything she didn't know at this rate?

"You will not ask for their findings because you already know what they will tell you. Deep down you know she is your enemy, but you are far too gone to look back and go against the tide."

For the rest of the day, Yuwen Hong swamped himself with work. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, to some point, his grandmother brought up valid points. However, the idea of Li Lian not existing in this world or him to part with her was in itself a traumatic experience he would rather not have at all costs. The idea that she was a spy and had been deceitful, he could not take it. Yes, there could be many lies she hid, but no way could it be that damaging.

"Yuwen Hong, have you heard from Yang Liu? She has not written to me at all." His mother enquired that night after their dinner at her quarters in Hougong. Most nights recently, he dined with Li Lian and was starting to not give his mother enough attention as she would like, thus he had promised he would be at her place at least once in every seven nights.

Yuwen Hong shrugged at her question. "Grand Dowager Empress Wu posed the same question to me this morning. I have no idea why you all think Yang Liu would like to write to me when she could not wait to leave my side."

To let her go, Yang Liu had rallied everyone to convince him that it was right she traveled and experienced some sense of freedom before she got married. That had never been done, a woman going to far away lands for the sake of leisure, it was an absurd idea. However, with his grandmother, mother, and future wife breathing down his throat on it, he was forced to sort of consent.

"It is so unlike her to go for these many days without speaking to me. Normally, she sends a pigeon to tell me of her experiences."

"I sent her with skilled servicemen that are well capable of protecting her. I am sure she is fine," he dismissed. Like the many things on his plate were not a lot, now he had to worry over Yang Liu.

"What if she escaped from her entourage and decided she wanted a life of her own?" His mother exclaimed, "That would be terrible!"

Yuwen Hong groaned. "Muqin, why would she run away? That is preposterous. Please stop with the wild ideas." Where could she run to that he would fail to find her?

"Hao, hao. I will stop." She patted him on the back, realizing she was beginning to annoy him.

He accepted her silent wish to be pardoned by turning his attention to Cai Wenjin. His daughter was on the grass, a bit away from the quarters porch he lounged on with his mother, playing with the pekingese dog belonging to the Noble Consort Qi.

"Cai Wenjin playing with that dog reminds me of you," his mother said, recollecting her memories.

"I had a dog?"

"Yes, have you forgotten? You once had a dog gifted to you by emperor."

"I don't remember clearly, it seems."

"That is because you had it for a month or two. It was cunning, and would bite your attendants. It even bit Eunuch Nam."

"Is that why it did not stay for long?"

"Yes, you did not believe them when they accused him."

"Hmm... Why didn't I? Could I not see the bite marks?"

Grand Consort Shu nodded. "You could, but you were deeply in love with the dog already. For some reason, you were in denial about its accused ferocity."

"In love and in denial?" Yuwen Hong repeated the words after his mother, familiar words that his grandmother had earlier rang to him.

"Yes, what a pity."

A swirl of dread started to accumulate in the pit of his stomach. "I loved this dog so much, then how did they take him away?"

"They did not take him away... you took him away."

Yuwen Hong held his breath. "How?"

"One day he unexpectedly bit you as well, and we were surprised to hear you had killed him." His mother tsked. "It was only from that time on that you indeed believed the dog was dangerous as the others had stated."

S.V

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