Eye of the Storm

-> loss

"You know, I never wanted this life for you." My father admits.

"Really?"

We've never been this honest with each other. When I was really young, I idolized my dad, he was my hero, flying planes and shooting down bad guys.

But as I got older, I didn't want a hero, I wanted my dad.

"When you left after Carole's funeral... all I knew is that you had too much of me in you." He wiped down his hands in his pants, after revealing a secret he'd been holding in for a decade.

Changing the conversation to a lighter topic, "Y'know, everyone says I look like you too."

Maverick chuckles, as I pull into the diner that's just at city limits. I'd discovered the place when I was a student at Top Gun, because sometimes I'd recognize too many people at the Hard Deck.

We get out of my car, and he looks at me. Like really analyzes me. "No, you might have my hair color, but you have your mother's face and eyes."

I never knew that. I had seen pictures of my mother, but I had been so young when she died, I didn't really remember her.

And you couldn't miss what you didn't have.

We walk into the diner, and I order a hamburger with a side of fries, and he orders a salad from the waitress.

"You didn't get friends on purpose, didn't you?"

"No, some of us actually have to eat healthy to stay in the air."

"What was that old man?"

The waitress sets down our food, except he gets my order and I'm stuck with the salad.

We switch meals with a laugh.

I did have some good memories with my dad. Whenever he came back from work, he'd sweep me up in a big hug, no matter how old I got. I remember being dragged around the naval bases, and getting introduced to my dad's planes. I remember cold winter nights, he'd take off his leather bomber jacket, filled with patches from places he had been, squadrons he had flown in, and held his call sign.

Our conversation is light hearted, and it's evident that's we're both trying to steer away from touchy subjects.

At least I am.

"I tried to pull your papers at the academy."

My attention snaps from my hamburger to my father.

"WHAT."

"I tried to pull—"

"No, yeah, yeah, yeah I heard that. Why?" I asked in a daze.

"Because I didn't want to lose you. Once you get in this life, it's hard to go slow. To settle down. And apparently they only let you pull so many papers at the Academy."

"So basically I have Rooster to thank?"

"Basically."

"Why did you pull his papers anyways?"

He sighs, and leans back in his seat. "I can't tell you."