facade || s.k. x reader

Chapter 9 | Anticlimatic Dinner Party

You snap back to reality. "I am! I'm just thinking about... "

Chiyo perks up. "Boyth?" She asks excitedly with a mouthful of rice. Sweet, sweet Chiyo looks much too happy to be discussing your non-existent crush. Now that you think about it, she is awfully cheesy when it came to romance; even more than you. She is like the Lara Jean Covey of PK Academy, only with way more painful love experiences and not as many cute lacrosse players.

You giggle. "No, not boys. But there are many lookers in Year 2..."

"Tell me about them!"

You are then forced to tell her and Teruhashi a recount of every single man you have talked to in the past month. They act as if they are probing you for answers in an interrogation room; blinding fluorescent lights and intimidation tactics and all. Women are scary.

But they also give you sound advice.

"(Y/n)-Chan, Kokomi, and I would like to bestow to you our greatest treasure," Chiyo says seriously with theatrical sparkling eyes. "This is a list compiled after days of research, data tracking, statistical measurements..."

"Ah, really it was just something fun we did during a lunch period," Kokomi says sheepishly. "Here, let me get it for you..."

The "greatest treasure" turns out to be a piece of looseleaf paper with sparkly gel pen writing. It's titled "How to Tell if Your Crush is a Prince or a Pauper (In no particular order)". Ten neat bullet points follow the header with scribbles of hearts decorating the empty spaces.

It's clear that Kokomi was the scribe and Chiyo was the doodler.

"These are serious research findings that we use to make sure the crushes we have aren't complete losers," Chiyo tells you with tears in her eyes. This piece of paper seemed to have a profound emotional impact on her.

Kokomi explains that she and Chiyo don't have much experience with love (You already knew that. Kokomi has never dated before despite literally being the most beautiful person in the world, and Chiyo has dumped and been dumped close to 19 times). Both Kaidou and Saiki have been checked with this list of rules and they have passed.

"Read it! I spent an entire two periods thinking of this stuff..."

________________________________________________________________________________

"How to Tell if Your Crush is a Prince or a Pauper" (No particular order)

1) Would he get into a fight for you?

2) Does he like kids?

3) Good hygiene?

4) Sense of humor?

5) Integrity?

6) He is kind?

7) Is he handsome?

8) Is he smart?

9) Is he good to your family?

10) Does he break rules?

________________________________________________________________________________

This can't be real. There is no way.

"Do...Do they have to pass all of these requirements?" Because there is no way that is possible, right? Kaidou is not someone that would break rules. In fact, you are pretty sure he started crying when someone offered him amphetamine in the hallways. Not to mention there is not a single universe in which Saiki can be defined as "kind". Nice sometimes but mostly snarky and mean? Yes. Kind? Nope, no way.