The Surprise

Anger

Demi and I sat up in the bleachers as Jaydens game was about to start. "Is he coming?" Josh asked. "I'm not sure.... I'm so happy Cam, Danny and JJ get to play on the same team." I smiled. Demi gasped, "DADDY! HEY DADDY COME UP HERE! IM UP HERE!" She hollered at him. I couldn't help but giggle at her silliness. Aria trailed behind him as they came up and of course he made sure to sit right next to me.... "Move." I told him angrily. "Were you good for mommy?" He asked Demi as she hung on him. "I'm always good." She said with attitude. I was digging my nails into my palms trying my best to not punch him. I could smell is cologne, and it just truly made my heart break. I miss smelling it when he would put it on freshly out of the shower. "It's good for the kids to see us sit next to eachother." He said to me. "It isn't going to be good when I punch you." I replied. "I'm sure your punch can't be worse than your dads." He replied. "You deserved that. He should've hit you again." I said. "I know I deserved that." He stated. "Can you two stop! Seriously?!" Aria hissed. "We need to start planning Demi's birthday party." He stated. My goal at this point was to piss him off till he moved away from me, "you can plan your party and I'll plan mine." I replied. "We are not having two separate birthday parties. That's stupid!" He said irritated. "No, you wanna know what's stupid? My husband cheating on me when I had cancer and getting his mistress pregnant." I stated. That shut him up. Demi sat in his lap and he was visibly pissed off. But still didn't move. "Daddy I go home with you tonight." She whined. "Okay you can go home with me tonight." He told her with a smirk. "No it's my night!" I hollered. He ignored me. I knew what he was doing.

"Mom! Dad!" Jayden smiled running towards us. "Hey you did great JJ!" I smiled. "Did you see me hit that ball out Into left field!" He said excited. "I did!" I said excited. "Mom can I stay the night at Zacks? I know it's your night but he got that new game and we really want to play it!" He begged. "You don't have any extra clothes Jayden." I said concerned. "I left a pair of clean clothes there last time." He said. "Pleeeassseee mom!" He begged. "Um, it's fine I guess." I said with a forced smile. None of my kids will be with me on my night.... "Yes!! You're the best!" He cheered hugging me. "Dad! Did you see me catch the fly ball?!" He asked Michael. "Yeah, did you hear your sisters cheering you on?" Michael laughed. "I did hear Demi's big mouth." He laughed. "Hey!" Demi replied. "Jayden do you think it's a good idea to stay the night at Zacks?" I asked concerned because of his night terrors. "I'll be fine mom," he groaned. "Okay don't forget to keep your phone charged! I love you!" I hollered as he ran away. "He's having night terrors still." I told Michael. I'm really trying to be a good co-parent which means keeping Michael in the loop with this stuff. "What did his therapist say?" He asked. I didn't answer. "Has he been going Dre?!" He asked surprised. "Not all the time." I replied as we got to our cars. "Why?" He asked confused. "Because on the days I have the kids they always have therapy or sports and I don't get enough time with them!" I hollered. "I told you I would switch you days!" He said irritated. "Or you could just come home and stay in the guest bedroom or I can! That would make more sense Dre!" He argued. "Ha! No fucking way am I going back in the house with you!" I replied. "Then stop complaining you aren't getting enough time with the kids, you can come home and you're choosing not to." He said. "Yeah because my husband is a cheater!" I hollered. "Yes everyone knows you say it every 5 seconds. We get it Dre!" He said irritated. "At least you referred to me as your husband still." He rolled his eyes. "Dre we will meet you back at the house," erin said getting into her car. I nodded. "You take the kids on my night again without asking me first I will take you to court asshole." I said calmly as possible. "Do it, take me to court Dre. We're still married, you don't have your own place. I am done with the insults, the threats and being treated like shit. I get it. I fucked up majorly and you get to be hurt and mad. But this shit has got to stop! Im done. You are going to have to start communicating with me. This is too hard on the kids." He snapped. I took a deep breath.  "I meant what I said Michael. Do it again and we will go to court and we can do an ugly custody battle all you want. I never said you couldn't take her, I want you to talk to me first. Communication remember? Like you just said?" I said talking to him like he's stupid. I could tell he was biting his tongue, "fine." He replied. "I'm going to tell her bye." I said going to his truck. "Hey babygirl," I smiled as her eyes were getting heavy. "Momma, you guys need to be nice to each other." She said. "You're right, I'm sorry." I said brushing her curls back. "Have fun at daddy's and be good okay? Make sure you get a bath tonight. You're dirty." I giggled. "Momma come home with us!" She whined. "Not tonight." I said kissing her head. "I love you to the-" "moon and back!" She giggled finishing my sentence.

Later that night

I hate this feeling.... Left out, unloved..... I know my kids love me, but they didn't even want to be with me tonight. None of them.

I laid on the bathroom floor as tears gently streamed down my face. My heart feels like it's in pieces. It's 2am and I've been like this for at least 3 hours. I can't get up. Its like my body just gave up. To be honest..... I want to hurt myself. I won't, I can't. But I want to. I Want to get in the bathtub and put myself underwater and hold my breath until I can't, I want to get in my car and drive a fast as possible In the wrong lane, I want to take a bottle of pills again....

"DRE! DRE!" Someone yelled on the other side of the door. "Yeah hold on." I said groggy. I slow stood up, shakily. I opened the door, "why the fuck aren't you answering your phone?!" Josh yelled. "I-I don't have it...." I said softly. "Jayden called you 15 times last night!" He yelled. Oh fuck. "Michaels here and he's pissed!" He said. I could hear his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and my body was going into a full on panic attack. "I'm so tired of being in the middle of this shit Dre! I'm done!" Josh yelled walking away. "Where the fuck have you been?!" Michael yelled coming into my room. I froze up, "I called you 10 times Jayden called you at least 15! He was having a fuck mental breakdown and you were no where! I had to get Demi up at 3 am to pick him up because you couldn't pick up your fucking phone!" He said mad. I've completely shut down. "He was crying for you! Not me! You! And you weren't there and you're not taking him to therapy like you're suppose to! Maybe we should go to fucking court since you can properly care for our kids! I'm keeping them again tonight since your too busy to be a fucking mom!" He yelled walking out slamming my door.

A couple minutes passed and Josh came back in, "I think it's best you stay with your dad for a couple nights or longer. I can't handle being in between this any longer. I can't do it." He said. "O-okay I'll pack my stuff." I said

I packed my car and left. Again. I didn't go to my dads. I just started driving, and didn't stop. All day. Hours and hours of driving. Maybe I shouldn't go back? Fuck I cannot go back down this road! I can't let myself do this again. I pulled over and just started bawling my eyes out screaming and crying. Beating my steering wheel. It felt like hours I sat here and cried. Then my phone started to ring, Jayden. I tried to calm down and take a breath.

"H-hey buddy." I answer trying my best to sound okay.
"Momma, what's going on?" He asked concerned. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Why does dad have us tonight, I want you." He said. I tried so hard to stop myself from crying. "I know buddy, I'm so sorry. I'll get you guys on Thursday." I replied. "No that's too far away!" He whined. "I know it is. I'm so sorry buddy. But momma..... momma needs a moment okay? I love you so much." I said holding my tears back. "I love you too. You're the best mom. Thursday, promise?" He asked. "Promise, pinky swear. All of it. I will be there." "Okay daddy wants to talk to you." He said. "No buddy i gotta go I love you. Bye." I said hang up. 

3 days later

Michaels pov

"What happened?" Aria asked in our "family" meeting with me Josh Erin and Selena . "I lost my temper okay? I didn't mean to but I was so mad at her!" I said still mad. "She's not at grandpas, she's not at Josh's or Selena's, or camis or Laylas." Aria said. "Fuck." I said. "She talked to you this morning?" I asked. She nodded, "very shortly, she didn't want to talk long." She sighed. "What did you say to her?" Aria asked calmly. I pressed my lips together looking away knowing I've fucked up even more, "I told her she couldn't properly care for you guys and she's too busy to be a mom." I replied. "Wow fucking great dad. Fucking great then Josh told her she needed to leave so just to add on what you said to her." She said walking away then turning around. "She's trying so hard to not disappear right now, I know it, I can feel it. The only reason she hasn't fucking hurt herself is because of Jayden and Demi and me!" She cried. "I'm sorry." Josh said. She threw her hands up, "it's only been two months since she found out! Her body is still recovering from cancer and you fucked up her head by cheating on her AGAIN! She's fucking done! I don't wan to see any of you right now!" She said storming out.

"I don't know what to do," I said sitting there. "Let Aria cool off and Dre promised Jayden she would get them Thursday so I guess we just wait." Erin said. I nodded, "did you call that custody lawyer I gave you?" Josh asked. I nodded.