29. flowers

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Song. That's the kind of woman I'd leave me for

Avani stared around her office wondering what was going on in her life

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Avani stared around her office wondering what was going on in her life. She stared at the blank white walls. Time was passing by but she felt she was frozen at one place. It was 4 weeks since her sudden wedding with Kabir , she was over her anger and pain mostly. But the longing for Arjun stayed there, it was there in her heart always. She was sad she wouldn't have her happily ever after with Arjun but there was hope now , hope that she would survive and this time she believed in it.  Ys she hated what Kabi did , but she was over it now. She knew she couldn't live with this pain always and she wouldn't be able to get through this with all the negativity inside her.

She had made up her mind to accept this reality of her life. And survive this . she knew she wouldn't accept Kabir as her husband ever but she was tired of being angry at him, she was becoming toxic for herself stuck  on the same phase in her life she wanted to get through this.  She didn't wanted to let herself drown in the negative effects of her feeling for him, she wasn't this person she knew she was better than that, but she hoped someday she would meet Arjun again and apologize for the game that life plate on both of them, she wanted to meet him and hug him for one last time to remember the feel of it.

Kabir had apologized to her many times. And had been doing every kind of effort so she would forgive him.

He had kept Flowers on her nightstand every morning which he buys on the way back from his morning run.

He always appologizes to her before muttering a good night to her eveyr night since last 2 weeks.

She sighed ,

“In the end we both lost ,
You and i were a love
Of once in a lifetime.
But maybe we would find each another in some other life
You and i were two pages of different stories
We were never meant to be
but ,
The stars were the one who wrote our half written story”

Avani recited as she remembered how she once wrote about a love that was left unfinished , a love that never completed , she didn't know what compelled her to write it then it was something that pushed her to rite that poem , but today she felt it , she felt the pain and sadness of those words. Today she realized how much those words could pain her and could make her feel so related. She felt those words deep in her heart.

Avani wasn't a woman who would move on in a moment and just in a snap of her moment she would go ahead and accept a new relationship, no she wasn't that woman. But she knew for the sake of her sanity she had to let go of the pain and the anger towards Kabir because the more she held onto it the more it ate her up. Its true the ship drown because of the hole in the boat and her anger was that hole that drowned her and let the negative water fill her up. She didn't want that. She was better than that .

Holding onto pain and hurt could only remind her of the pain she felt.  She was tired of re-living the very moment of her marriage she didn't want to . She wanted to let herself heal. And forgiveness was the first step of healing and she wanted to walk that road.

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