4 | Panicking

596 22 20
                                    

Komaeda was exhausted. Hanamura had made a complete mess in the kitchen and now he had to clean it up. He had so many bruises and wore a lot of bandaids and bandages. It was a cycle, really. He hated hospitals, doctors and nurses because they reminded him of his childhood, but he constantly had to ask Tsumiki to help him treat his wounds because he was so unlucky.

He heard a creak. The door had been opened.

"Komaeda, hey." Hinata smiled at him. Komaeda gave him a small wave as he continued cleaning.

"Did you cook something?" Hinata asked. He crossed his arms and leaned against the fridge.

Komaeda shook his head. "Hanamura-kun did and he asked me to clean it up,"

Hinata laughed and his friend looked at him. "What's so funny?" The white-haired boy asked.

"This just reminds me of when Koizumi said you'd make a good stay-at-home dad,"

Komaeda let out a chuckle, "You all have to stop saying that. Hanamura-kun called me a housewife... though, he probably means it in an unwholesome way,"

"Does he like... pay you back for helping him all the time?" Hinata questioned.

"Nope. He offered once, but I refused,"

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

Komaeda laughed. "It's Hanakura-kun. The reward I'd get would probably be something gross,"

Hinata grimaced. "Y-yeah, you're right. So you just... do this for free?"

The pale boy nodded, smiling. "It's my duty to do what the ultimates tell me to, after all! I'm only good for pleasing you guys,"

Hinata cringed. "Like... you'd do anything..?"

Komaeda raised an eyebrow. "What are you implying?" He looked up at Hinata.

"Ah- just... you know... normal things,"

"Ahaha!" Komaeda giggled. "Seriously though... I'll do whatever you guys ask of me. It's what I'm here for,"

Hinata shook his head. "No, that's wrong! You're your own person, you know?"

"Technically, yes. I'm sure every lawyer would agree with you on that, but... I know my worth, Hinata-kun,"

"Obviously not." Hinata walked towards him and grabbed his chin, making him look up. "You're not worthless, okay? Stop saying that,"

Komaeda's cheeks heated up. He pushed Hinata's hands away. "N-no, I am!"

Hinata crouched down to be on his level since Komaeda was sitting on the floor, cleaning up the shelves.

"Are you embarrassed because I told you you're not worthless? Jeez, Komaeda... has no one ever said that to you?"

The pale boy refused to look at his friend. He was way too embarrassed and didn't want Hinata getting too attached to him. Hinata put a hand on his shoulder and, as if on instinct, Komaeda turned around. He noticed his mistake and turned his head back.

Hinata gulped. Komaeda had looked... very cute. But... No, that wasn't a normal way to think about a friend. Besides, they were both boys. Yeah. He couldn't have a crush on a boy, that would be super weird.

"Nope..." Komaeda said. It confused Hinata, until he noticed that it was the answer to his question. "No one's said I'm not worthless before... because that would be a lie. You're a liar, Hinata-kun, even if you mean well..."

"Komaeda..." He didn't know what else to say.

"I'm messed up and sick in the head. No one could love someone like me. No one would ever think I'm worth something..."

Hinata took a deep breath and pulled Komaeda into a hug. Komaeda hesitantly hugged back. After they pulled away, Hinata got up.

"You don't have to explain what you mean when you said you're sick in the head, Komaeda. I just want you to know that I believe in you and that I care about you. I'm not a liar, Komaeda, I just like you, okay? Get that through your thick skull." He ruffled his hair with a laugh.

"You're too kind to trash like me..."

Hinata sighed. "You'll learn eventually." After saying that, he left.

Komaeda cleaned up the rest of the kitchen and decided to go to walk around the islands. He passed the hospital and felt a shiver go down his spine. Still... he was curious. He wanted to overcome his fear.

Was it stupid? Probably. He still went inside though. Komaeda walked through the hallways. The famillar smell of hand sanitizer was in the air, making Komaeda shudder. He had to do this though. He had to.

Komaeda shakily put his hand on one of the doorknobs and went inside a paitents room. He put his hands on the blanket, but quickly pulled back when he remembered all the times he'd been in one of these beds. He'd been here after the deaths of his parents, after he got kidnapped, when he got diagnosed with cancer, when his cancer got treated and multiple times when his bad luck had made him get hurt.

He gasped and felt his legs beginning to shake. Why was he doing this to himself? Komaeda took off running and hurried out of the hospital. He felt dizzy and disoriented. He didn't even know where he was going. It felt like he was running, but he wasn't sure since it might not even have been possible to run with legs as shaky as his. He felt incredibly anxious and began to sweat. Komaeda kept going. His mouth felt dry and his heart was pounding inside his chest. His eyes began to water. He began to slow down as he kept on almost falling. In the distance, he could hear someone yelling something.

Suddenly, he tripped and fell. He closed his eyes tightly. He felt super cold and wet. He open his mouth, only for it to be filled with water. He panicked and opened his eyes. Then, Komaeda understood that he was underwater. Something grabbed his legs, making him yelp. Then, he got pulled out of the water.

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