Hinata's Agoraphobia

Chapter Three

His puffy hazel eyes stared at the brightness of his phone screen. The rest of the room was dark, the light switch turned off. There, Tsukishima laid on his bed, engulfed in the warmth of his blanket, holding his phone in front of his face, texting Yamaguchi. "He didn't want to see me, Yams.. He was trembling in fear, he looked so scared.." He then sent it to Yamaguchi, weeping about Hinata being afraid of him. He was so upset. Maybe Tsukishima is rude to Hinata all the time yeah, but that doesn't mean that he dislikes him, it's actually quite the opposite, but it's always rude and that's his personality. He acts more like himself, a more intense version of himself with Hinata. But it always comes off as mean and rude. He doesn't try to be, he doesn't want to hurt him, he just wants to be teasing, he doesn't like making Hinata feel sorrowful. Which is why, Tsukishima is right here, in his bed, crying out because he can't handle the feeling of seeing Hinata like that. Tsukishima really, really can't. At time's he can't believe his heart when Hinata smiles, but at other times, he can't believe himself when Hinata's upset because of him. He's completely upset and angry at himself because of what he did, he knows Hinata's partially upset because of what he says and it's his own fault.

"It'll be okay Tsuki, '' Yamaguchi wrote and sent to Tsukishima. He honestly felt really bad for Tsukishima because he knows that he doesn't mean it. He knows that Tsukishima is really insecure about himself and it's really upsetting Yamaguchi. He knew that he couldn't say anything to Tsukishima about it though, because if he told Tsukishima that it was okay, he wouldn't believe him and then leave Yamaguchi on read. He knew that if he kept talking to Tsukishima, at one point, he'd have to tell him how he felt. Yamaguchi likes Tsuki. Yamaguchi really wants to date him, but he knows that he can't. He knows that Tsukishima likes Hinata, Tsuki told him. He felt tremendously bad for Tsuki and for himself. He knew that at a time like this, he should be worrying about if Hinata's okay, and happy that he's awake, but his best friend is breaking down on the other side of the screen right now. He really hates it. "It'll be alright Tsuki, he'll forgive you." Yamaguchi wrote, he wanted to send it but also didn't want to, he didn't want Tsukishima to feel lied to, he knows Tsuki hates that. He sent it anyway, he knew that if Tsuki stopped talking to him, maybe Tsuki felt a bit reassured before he did. Tsukishima's seen it, "Read" it said on the screen, underneath Yamaguchi's text in bold gray letters. He turned off his class and felt worried, worried that Tsukishima was gonna stop texting him or stop being friends with him over the slightest bit of reassurance. "Gomen Tsuki, I don't want you to feel upset. I just want you to feel better." he wrote and sent. He was being truthful, although Tsukishima didn't like it. Tsukishima felt pitied, angry, upset, he felt lied to and betrayed. No, Yamaguchi didn't betray him or anything, but he felt betrayed because he felt lied to. Tsukishima doesn't like being pitied by anyone, especially Yamaguchi. Although this is how he felt, he let it go. He knew that Yamaguchi was just trying to be a good friend, his only friend. He wanted to keep the only friend he had, he lost one, aka his brother. But Yamaguchi was there when it happened, and that mattered the most out of everything, to Tsukishima. "It's okay, Yams," He wrote in reply. Yamaguchi felt relieved, he didn't like making Tsukishima feel the way he just did, he hated it so much.

To be honest, Yamaguchi had the BIGGEST crush on Tsukishima that anyone could know just by looking at the two together. Although, you could tell that Tsukishima wasn't interested or it just didn't look like he was. But, Yamaguchi kept it inside, he never told him, he didn't like doing that because he always messes up, and he takes everything to heart. In reality, there were small tears warming up Yamaguchi's eyes. He was crying because he knew that Tsukishima wasn't his, and it hurt a lot. He quickly texted Tsukishima a goodbye and shut his phone off, it was so sudden that Tsukishima was taken aback by it. Yamaguchi couldn't help it, he covered his face with his cold hands and started sobbing, his face and tears warmed up his cold hands. He was hiccuping and crying, "Gomen Tsuki", is all he could mutter out. He was sorry for being upset even though he had nobody to say it to. He was bawling his eyes out, stuffing his hand covered face into his pillow. He hated feeling like this, he hated feeling alone and unwanted. At this point, he just wanted to beg Tsukishima to hug him, he wanted warmth, but he didn't get it. Now, from his black silent screen, awaited Tsukishima's text, and with Tsukishima.. Tsukishima was crying too, he was crying first. But it wasn't because he felt unwanted, it was because he made himself unwanted. He lost his ball of sunshine, he lost the light that he saw everyday, he hid the sunshine with his moon, his cold moon heart. He covered his sun with the wall he put up and the sun hid away. He didn't want his sun to hide, he didn't want to cover the sun, he just wanted the warmth, and he accidentally did it. "I'm sorry Hinata.." he mumbled, nobody hearing it except himself.