ocd || knj

chapter four: jc pov

I sigh, looking at my phone once again as I sit down. My only connection to my little sister. She might not even answer. I glance at the time, seeing that it's 2:30, so it's 5:30 in Indiana. Not too late, but who knows what she's doing.

She might be in class, even though that'd be hella late.

But also she had a class at 7:30 and I didn't know they had them that early either.

I wonder how she's doing in classes, if she is spiraling the way my mom thinks and the way Brian says. If my mom is right, she's been getting worse all year. She had to be bad already if she's snapping now. But what does bad even mean?

She's always had issues paying attention or with motivation even though she's a good student. She's crazy good at just dealing with things and going with it. If that's what she has to do, she has to do it. Like with our family or my social media stuff. She just deals with it.

But every once in a while, you could see her break, at times more than others. If we don't see each other for a while, that's always been a trigger. If she's around too many people for too long, that's a trigger. We learned that the hard way with a sleepaway camp. Both of those are why she didn't initially want to go to college. Well, not didn't want to. She was scared to. As in, terrified to.

But she said she could handle it. Which surprised me. Dani has always had issues with looking at the worst possible end and assuming it's going to happen. Hence why she's a secret. Her social anxiety and probably just anxiety stems from that.

When I really think about it, the OCD makes sense. I just don't understand how they didn't tell me.

Would I know if anything was going on? Like anything else?

Should I?

My mom said it, Dani is an adult.

I know we set it up so we could see her grades or attendance and everything. She said it was fair because I was paying for it, but I honestly never thought I would do it.

I bite my cheek before nodding, no. This can't get worse than whatever it is, I can't let it. I need to do this.

I go to 'Safari' and search the college, clicking the number, and then waiting for a voice to break up the ringing, "Hello, front desk of Student Services, how can I help you?" A kind voce carries through the phone,

"Hi, this is JC Caylen, I am an authorized user on my younger sister's account and I was wondering if I could either be connected with her advisor or get some help with how to access her information?" I hear her hum before asking,

"What information are you looking for exactly?" Oh thank god, she isn't a fan,

"I know my sister has been having some mental health issues, so I want to view her grades, or attendance, or anything that could tell me I guess how much worse she's getting. I don't know if that makes much sense but..." I trail off but she immediately starts speaking,

"No, Mr. Caylen, that makes perfect sense. We get these calls all the time, granted usually from parents, but college isn't easy for anyone, ever. Can you tell me the student's name, and I can try to tell you what you need to know, and otherwise I will redirect you to her advisor, how does that sound?" I smile,

"That sounds incredibly helpful thank you. Her name is Daniella Castillo, well, Daniella Ruby Castillo. She's a junior." I wait patiently, scratching my leg through my sweatpants.

"Hmmm, okay," I listen to her mumble along with clicks from a mouse and key board, "Oh, oh that is concerning. Interesting," I raise my eyebrows, feeling my heart drop a bit as I realize my mom is right, "Okay Mr. Caylen, I see that you are an authorized user, so I can convey this information to you legally now. I do need to check though, this is the personal information of Ms. Castillo, so is there anyone around who can hear me who should not be privy to the following information?" her voice sounds much more formal than before so I answer the same way,

"I am alone, currently, ma'am," She clicks something before sighing,

"Okay, well, um, this obviously isn't the most professional way to say this, but I would agree with you that Daniella isn't doing well. It looks like last week she attended only five or six out of her scheduled fourteen class times, as in all of them counted together because some classes meet multiple times a week. Those six combined only account for four different classes, so her other three classes she didn't attend at all," I suck in a breath, trying to think rationally about what could be happening and a silver lining,

"How is she doing in her classes? Either this semester or last is fine," I say, keeping myself together, even though I kind of already want to scream.

"Ummmm, last semester Dani's GPA was around a 3.5, which is fine, but I will say, if I look closer I can see she would've probably been pretty much at a 3.8 to a 4.0 until, wow," I wait, trying my best to be patient as I wrack my brain to think of what could have changed so quickly, "In September, around the third or fourth week, it looks like she skipped one class the third week, her last class on Friday, because a teacher reported it out of concern and then she skipped the entire next week, every class, as well. From then on, her attendance seems spotty, similar to last week, and it looks like she only even took, let alone passed around half of her quizzes and exams. The online class she was in she has zeros from then on in. I don't know what could have happened, but I would agree that something did happen." I swallow, thinking about how to ask my next question correctly,

"How... Why has this not raised any concern before? Isn't there some kind of suspension that that would cause?" The girl on the other end... laughs and I furrow my eyebrows, confused by the response but this is also when I realize she's a student, not like an adult adult,

"There is, but if someone does as well as someone like this girl was beforehand, and still at least takes their finals, they can't fail badly enough to be flagged for literally almost anything. It looks like there was a week in the middle of October where she consistently went to classes, which probably padded her scores a bit, but that seems to have fizzled out again within the next two weeks after. I would say, if I may with all due respect, you seem like a very concerned person in her life, but this looks like a case of a student who feels very isolated, and something happened." I let that sit with me for a second, and so does she before I respond,

"No, absolutely, um, you're very right. We... um, we let things slip a bit with checking in on her, like my family, but we're trying to figure some things out,... now," I hear her type some more, before speaking,

"I would like to mention that we have the records for her OCD diagnosis, her anxiety diagnosis, a depression watch set by a doctor, and medications for both the anxiety and OCD are listed in both. It is flagged from the pharmacy that she hasn't put in a new prescription as of January and hasn't picked any up since November, which is not a good sign, as someone who is also on just anxiety medication myself," Well I guess everyone but me knew about this, "That flag doesn't do anything obviously because she is an adult, it's more set there for if, something... um, happens, and that can be factored in..." Her awkwardness is fully clear, telling me exactly what I was worried about,

"I understand. Thank you, ma'am, is there anything else at all you think I should know?" I turn to the side while I listen as she hums again and then speaks,

"I don't see much else, only that she is not in therapy, and that she does live with two other girls in an on campus apartment, so we have that lease... oh your name is on it, okay, then, well, I don't know that there is anything else to tell you that you wouldn't know." I try to think of anything else I was going to ask but I can't,

'Well, thank you, I really appreciate your help. I think it's time for me to call Dani now," I smile, and she replies kindly,

"Of course sir, have a good day," I nod, even though she can't see me,

"You too, thanks," replying and hanging up.

God this is gonna be hard.

-

Y'all college is hard, but Dani is really struggling.

I can't wait for you guys to meet her next chapter!

love you guys!