It'll be ok - Ziam Mayne

Chapter 5

Zayn's pov

"Do you want to tell me why you didn't want to go in the water the day we met? And what this situation in the office of Mr. Johnson was? Where your bruises are coming from?"

I have to tell him. He deserves to know. He's, except Louis, the only friend I have.

"Yeah... but please, don't tell anybody" I responded. He calmed me down a little from before. I was lucky I had him, otherwise I would have more bruises now.

"You sure? I don't want to push you. And I won't tell anyone. Promise" He reassured.

"Yes, I'm ready to tell you. You deserve to know." I took a deep breath and started.

"It comes and goes in waves... sometimes there are hard times like a year ago when my mom, the most beautiful and kindest woman, and the best mom I could've ever wish of, got in a car crash, and passed away..." I tried to hold back my tears and did a surprisingly great job in it.

"But there are also good times like when I'm with my sisters. I love them... Luckily, they are almost always away when my father is at home at the same time as I am..."

At this moment a few tears are running down my cheeks. As soon Liam saw this, he hugged me very tightly. I wish I never have to let go. It feels so amazing.

"He's very very very horrible to me. When I told my parents two years ago that I'm gay, my mom accepted me, and my father accepted it because my mother told him so...

But when my mother died..."

I'm still not over her dead and can't think of her without crying. I continued in a very sad voice.

"... when my mother died, his true personality came out... he beats me up... he abuses me... calls me a worthless faggot... calls me other horrible things... wishes I would die..." My voice cracks at the end and I feel like I can't breathe. Is it the best if I would die? I took another deep breath and continued.

"He's just horrible to me and I can't do anything about it...Then I started..." breath Zayn, breath "I started to self-harm. It feels relaxing. I feel like I deserve the pain. I can't stop thinking like that... I'm a worthless gay boy who doesn't deserve the breath I'm using... I tried to not let these words inside me because I knew it would hurt me. But it's difficult if you hear them every day, in school and at home, you know?

I wouldn't be allowed to go to a friend's after school. My dad would beat me up again.

Without Louis' family I wouldn't be here. I would be dead..." and with this sentence I saw that Liam was crying too. I saw that he tried his best to fight the tears before to be strong, but he failed.

"And then again there are good times like now because I'm with you. You accepted me from the beginning, didn't push me with telling and I trust you. Not even Louis knows about my self-harm and that means something. He's my best friend since kindergarten." I finished.

I prepared myself for him to run away and have nothing to do with me, but he did the opposite.

„I'm so so so so sorry. I can't imagine how a father can treat his son like this. I'll do my best to help you out of this hell. You can't live there any longer. You stay with me for as long as you want. And at school, I make sure Conor and his group can't go anywhere near you. Everything will be okay."

„No, I can't Li... My sisters are at home, and I have to look after them." I reasoned.

"Are they gay? He just treats you like this because your gay though that's nothing bad."

"No..." I noticed that he's probably right. As sad as it sounds.

"You see?" Liam said.

I nodded and hugged him, a way to say thank you. I'm really thankful that he came in my life and accepted me right from the first second on.

We decided to grab a few things from my house and then go to Liam's.

At home, not home, my father was there. Liam made a great job to entertain him while I went to pack my luggage.

When I was done, I grabbed Liam's arm and ran outside. I really didn't need another bruise and I didn't want Liam to be hurt.

Outside I started crying because I was so glad, I don't have to go back any time soon. Liam hugged me and asked why I was crying.

"I don't know. I'm just very glad I have you and I don't have to go back to this place any time soon, I guess. Thank you very much Li..."

"It's absolutely no problem. But please stop crying. Otherwise, I have to cry too... And we don't want two guys crying, do we?" he chuckled.

That made me smile again. I'm just really happy.

°-°

In the evening Liam's whole family was there. Liam and I were the whole time in his room and spoke about the most random things. It was quite funny actually.

As Liam's mother called to dinner, I began to be nervous. Liam sensed that and reassured that they will be ok with it.

Downstairs, Nicola, Ruth, and Liam's parents already sat on the table. They looked at me with a confused look as Liam spoke up.

"Mom, Dad, Nic, and Ruth, this is Zayn. He's a friend of me. His uhm.. dad" Liam cringed at this word but went on "his dad kicked him out if his house and I told him, that he could stay with us for a while. I hope that's fine with you" He explained.

"I don't want to be a burden. I could find somewhere else to stay" I said unsure. Honestly, I wouldn't know were because Louis' house is full. He has so many siblings.

"No, it's completely fine! You can stay with us as long as you want and need to. I'm Karen, nice to meet you!" Liam's mother said and opened her arms to hug me.

I gladly took a step towards her and hugged her. Oh god, I missed that. A motherly hug.

"Thank you, nice to meet you too" I said politely.

"This is Geoff, Nicola and Ruth" she said and I smiled.

"Hi" I said shyly.

They waved and welcomed me also very nice.

°-°

As it was time to go to bed, Liam took me to his room again. I didn't really know where to sleep but I'm sure he has a solution.

"So uhm, I thought you could sleep in my bed with me if you're comfortable. But I could also sleep on the couch if you want me to." He said.

What?? He wants to sleep in the same bed as me?! I thought to myself.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch. I'm ok with it." I smiled shyly.

We changed and watched a film. I couldn't really concentrate because LIAM fucking PAYNE sat right next to me, and I just moved in here. I couldn't believe I wasn't at home and that I was save here.