Humdard

Ishq

I couldn't must up the courage to walk towards him. I was afraid to find more bruises if I closed the distance between us. Suddenly, the conversation that took place a minute earlier drifted into my mind.

"It will be difficult for him to get on his legs, bones are severely injured."

My sight went of his legs wrapped by a blanket. They seemed normal, maybe the doctor made some mistake. I wanted to convince my heart. I slowly took step towards him. Unknowingly my eyes planned to break into tears. I was seeing him after more than a week. A week that was followed with so much confusion, worry, and anxiety. I was so uncertain about his existence.

The frequent flashes of the past troubling me. The horror of history repeating itself. I was exhausted with it. I was frightened of losing him.

"Idiot!" I rebuked, ending in tears. "How could you punish me like that?" I was scolding him, my tears not at all helping me to seem angry. "You're the dumbest creature existing on the planet." I kept blabbering as I slowly touched his wrist. I wanted to feel his presence. To assure my heart, I wasn't imagining things. He was before my eyes, breathing.

I was never aware that his existence was of so much value to me. The thought of losing him could make me feel dead. I was dead for once, he had brought me back to life without making me aware of it. I couldn't allow him to kill me again. Not when I was starting to believe that I could live.

"You aren't allowed to leave me. Do you understand? I hadn't asked you to come into my life but now that you had entered, you aren't allowed to leave. Not until my last breath." My tears weren't stopping neither were my sobs. I had pulled his hands hiding them in my chest. They were so cold, so large. "I am... in love with you idiot..." I was speaking in between my hiccups. "So much so... that mere thought of losing you suffocates me to hell..." I kept ranting, unbottling my feelings. Discovering my emotions, understanding the complicated stuff of my heart.

I wasn't allowing my mind to enter. I wasn't going to consider if it was correct? If I was doing justice to Rishi? If I was betraying my past? I wanted to lose myself. I wanted to forget my past and maybe this time forever. My past was destroying my present. I couldn't allow my future to be devasted by my past.

"If I knew..." I heard a small mutter suddenly realising Yash was conscious. His set of orbs was staring at me with adoration though I could depict it was drained due to lack of energy. "meeting with an accident could make you fall in love with me, I might have done it long back." He wasn't able to speak it clearly but I understood. His tone was wobbly, due to exhaustion.

I glared at him making a small smile reach his face. His other hand gesturing me to close the distance between us. I shook my head. "You aren't in a condition. Don't move and rest properly." I warned him, as he kept staring at me with a pleading gaze. "What?" I couldn't restrain those puppy eyes.

"I missed you..." His hand that was under my soft grip was attempting to break free from my grip. I allowed him, staring at his action with confusion. His hands slowly reached to cup my cheek. "I hate those tears that were the reason I had ordered Abhi not to inform you. You won't be able to glance at my..." his eyes moved towards his leg. A sense of grief was overpowering in those beautiful orbs.

Was he aware of the tragedy? Was it correct? Won't he ever be able to walk on his leg? I shrink at the thought but the emotion powering on Yash's face strengthened me to act strong. He wasn't allowed to feel powerless. 

"I am not that weak..." I countered back. He seemed taken aback for a minute. Keenly observing me as if assuring himself if I was aware.

"I know... sweetheart..." he pressed a soft smile. "I am aware how strong you are but sometimes it isn't about strength but just peace. I had promised to provide you with peace, happiness and maybe faith is having some other plan." His orbs hadn't averted from me for a minute. "My life is going to be different. Things are going to be different and..."

"Shut up," I bounced back understanding what the conversation was shaping into. "I had enough of your nonsense. Now, sleep... no more discussion." He was going to open his mouth but my look was enough to make him shut his mouth.

"I love you..." he whispered before obeying my command. A slight smile reached my spirit at his confession. I wasn't that brave to confess twice in a row so I sealed my tongue shut but I heard him groan though his eyes were shut as I hadn't responded. A giggle popped out glimpsing at his childish nature.

I pecked on his forehead on discovering he was fast asleep. My hands were slowly caressing his face. None had troubled me to such a level. If his state wasn't bad, I would have showered him with my annoyance. I shook my head as my eyes kept staring at him. Assuring my heart that he was for real. 

___

A few more chapters and soon the book will be done. 

Writing books had thought me to let go, as each time I start writing a book. I start spending time with the characters, they become my friend, I start understanding them and then when the time comes to leave them I feel sad but I know I can't continue to keep them for my selfish desire because that would spoil their beauty and the only option I am left is to let them go. Each time I feel I won't be able to forget my characters but soon the other characters make me engrossed in them and soon they leave me as well.