I'm not okay

Chapter twenty

I, like normally can't finish eating everything so Ash eats the rest of my ice cream as I slowly fall asleep in Flower's arms.

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I run around the house, trying to find a place to hide.

We're currently playing hide and seek.

By we, I mean all of my brothers and I.

As fast as I can, I hide under a table when suddenly something falls down that was stuck under it by my movements.

What?

I look at the object as fear devours my whole body.

A gun.

A real gun.

Oh my god.

My breathing picks up as I keep looking at it.

No

I need- I can't.

If one of my brothers see this, they'll hurt me.

What if they shoot me like sir did.

I quickly pick the gun up with shaking hands as my heart beats loudly in my head.

It's going too fast and I can't breathe.

No

Not now

Please

I try to stick the gun pack to its previous place but it keeps falling down.

No

No

No please

My breathing and heart rate only quicken the longer I'm here with this gun.

I don't want to be shot.

Please come on!

I hear footsteps so I look up with tears streaming down my face.

Dominic.

"I-..I'm sorry please, I just. I didn't mean...I can't. I'm sorry it f-fell" I stammer out while pressing my back up against the wall and moving away from him.

"Please, don't hurt me" I cry out with the gun still present in my hands.

Dominic looks at me shocked and worried.

Not furious or murderous.

Still, my fear doesn't lessen

"Please" I cry out, "I'm r-really sorry"

My breathing starts to pick even more as he starts to walk closer to me making me press myself up against the wall even tighter.

I drop the gun as I wrap my arms around myself, sort of trying to prepare myself for the hit I'm about to get.

"Princess, I'm not going to hurt you" Dominic says.

I don't respond and continue holding myself tightly as my breathing quickens even more.

Dominic grabs my chin and brings it up so our eyes meet, " 'm sorry" I cry out once more.

He looks at me with so much pain in his eyes.

"Don't be sorry princess, just take a deep breath with me. In.....and out, again" he says softly while pulling me closer to him.

"No- please" I cry out, moving away from him.

His eyes fill up with so much hurt, it's impossible to keep looking at them.

"Okay, I won't touch you, can you look around though and tell me five things you can see?" He asks me.

I look at him a little weirded out but do what he's asking off me nonetheless, who knows he might hurt me if I don't.

"F-floor, walls, l-...lig-light...m-m...my shoes a-and y-you" I manege to get out after a while.

"Good job princess, now four things you can touch"

"Floor, cl-clothes...I-...w-walls and t-table" I hyperventilate.

"Good now three things you can hear"

"Y-you, f-ast breathing an-...and m-my he-heart b-beat" I tell him my heart still racing shockingly fast.

"Now two things you can smell"

"The house a-and you" I say.

"Good now one thing you can taste"

"Toothpaste" I tell him.

My breathing is still pretty labored but my heart is slowing down a little as all the other signs of my rising panic attack disappear.

I look at him as my fear is still evident in my eyes and body language.

"I'm not going to hurt you" Dominic says, "and I'm not mad at you either" he continues.

"T-the gu-gun" I stutter out fearfully.