My Journey Through Type One Diabetes

11. How Christmas of 2019 Changed How I View my Family

Alright so a couple of things to tell y'all before I start this story. This is obviously about a family Christmas and this was on my dad's side of the family and my dad's one sister lives here with us but his other sister lives out of the state we live in. Since they live out of state my family does not get to see very often in fact they usually are only able to visit either during Christmas or Thanksgiving. Obviously this year they were able to come down during Christmas. The other thing you guys need to know is that my dad's sister had five kids and all of them are extra-ordinarily smart but sometimes struggle with social situations, like most smart people do.

Anyway getting to the story, the two eldest daughters, who live out of state, wanted to sit by me at supper and so I obliged and told them that I will sit with them. We sat at a card table which meant that only four people could sit there. I was the first one to sit down with my food and soon after my two cousins from out of state sat down. I pulled out my PDM to give myself insulin  and then put it away. All of my family knows I have T1D but have never really ever explained to anyone and I do not know if my parents ever did either. I am assuming that my PDM caused this conversation to happen but me and the girls were talking and at one point one of them said "well at least you do not have to deal with it all the time." They were basically saying that I only have to deal with it at supper. I literally just started laughing cause I thought they were joking! They were in fact not joking, and just stared at me while I laughed. I finally noticed them staring and I had to ask out loud, "are you joking," they shook their heads no. I had to tell them that I deal with it all the time but never got the chance to elaborate how much I do everyday to keep myself alive.  They kind of just brushed my words off and said "well at least you do not have to be in a hospital all the time." 

Pause for a second.

Let those words sink in like I had to.

I was speechless, dumb founded, I could not fathom what they just said. I continued to eat my food as quickly was possible because I was disgusted with myself and them. I was disgusted with myself because I did not explain that this disease is life long and has no cure and expensive and  life threatening and horrible to live with and and and crappy... I could not believe that they said that to me it made me feel like my disease was no big deal like this disease is totally manageable all the time. Their words will stick with me forever because I was betrayed and hurt by my own family. They made me doubt everything about myself and my disease.

After I finished eating I went over to my mom and told her what had happened while I was eating. She pulled be aside where no one else was at and told be that what they said was not cool and was even considering talking to their parents. Their mom had gestational* diabetes while pregnant with one of their siblings and so they thought they knew what they were talking about but not really. Once everyone had opened their presents and had desert we went home and talked.

*For those of you who do not know gestational diabetes is when a woman is pregnant and her blood sugar is high because the placental hormones can cause high blood sugars. All they need to do is adjust their diet and exercise and will take medication if needed so more like a type two diabetic then a type one diabetic and then after pregnancy it goes away. 

My family and I were in the kitchen discussing things that had happened that at the family gathering. My mom validated my feelings of diabetes being a struggle to live everyday and she made that point that I never get a break or vacation from this disease it is with me now and for the rest of my life. Since I do not have any diabetic friends my family is who understands me most, which is just my dad, mom, and brother, even then they have a hard time understanding things. In that moment though I felt at home and a little at peace with my disease, I do not get validated very much but when I do it is a great feeling for me. 

Author's Note

Chapter Started: 6/28/2022@12:14am

Chapter Ended: 7/18/2022 @1:03am

Hey everyone, hope you guys are liked this chapter. Hopefully you guys thought it was funny or shocking, whatever your take was on it, I intended on it being a little of both I guess.

If you would like, go to the comments and share about a family member who put down your disease or made it seem unimportant, or share about a family member who really helped you through your disease.

I know everyone goes through their own challenges with T1D so please no hating on me or anyone else, thanks!