Fighting For Love

Chapter | 15

What?

"Really? I did nothing wrong?" I asked, beyond confused at this point.

She just started at the floor, which for some reason made me even more mad.

"What the hell Lindsay!" I snapped. Lindsay's eyes shot up to meet mine, widening, as did everyone else's in the room. They all knew that I didn't swear. "You don't just go around yelling at people for no reason! Why can't you just tell me what I did wrong so I won't do it again?" I asked, letting out an exasperated sigh.

When she didn't answer me I just continued to stare her down. It was like we were in some sort of staring contest. The competitive spirt in both of us coming into play. But, like everything in life has to come to an end our staring contest had to as well. Lindsay was the first to look away.

She stared off to the right at nothing in particular, chewing on her bottom lip nervously as I waited in anticipation for her next words. And just when I thought  she wasn't going to say anything she spoke softly, a hint of venom still evident in her tone.

"Whatever Nolan. I don't want to talk about this right now. Like I said before we can talk about it on Monday, but I'm leaving." And with that she walked out the door.

No goodbye. No explanation. No nothing.

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach as I realized what had just happened. I just got into a fight with the only girl that I've ever really liked. A stupid fight about— about I don't even know what it was about!

How could you let this happen? Why didn't you just suck it up and go to the party? You can't do anything right can you? What a pathetic wast of space.

I closed my eyes as I felt tears begin to form, but all I could see was the anger and hurt in Lindsay's green hues. I felt dizzy. It was all too much.

You're a pathetic, weak, burden.

The voice continued on repeat like a broken record. Why couldn't it just be quiet for 2 seconds? But no matter what it seemed to never leave.

"Nolan?" Nicole said gently, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I blinked a few times as I looked around, and realized that Hailey was back, and even better everyone was starting at me. My breathing picked up immediately as the fact that they had all just witnessed my fight with Lindsay hit me. I reached for the island trying to ground myself, but it didn't work.

My breathing continued to come out in uneven gasps, as tears clouded my vision, and I felt my legs begin to shake.

Pathetic.

I slowly lowered myself to the ground, trying to even out my breathing, and stop the oncoming panic attack.

In two three, out two three. In two three, out two three.

I chanted in my head while trying to drown out the concerned voices of my friends and sister. I could faintly hear someone talking, but I ignored them as I squeezed my eyes shut and continued to count my breaths.

Panic attacks were weird. I could always tell how bad one was going to be within the first 10 seconds after it started. Don't ask me how, I just could. Some were harder to pull myself out of then others, like the one I had last week.

However, most of them were manageable, like this one. I knew I could pull myself out of it, but in order to do so I needed to stay focused on myself. Even if that meant ignoring my worry stricken friends.

In two three, out two three. In two three, out two there. You're okay Nolan. Everything's fine. Just breath. I told myself.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only 10 minutes my breathing evened back out, and I slowly pealed my eyes open, regretting it as 6 pairs of eyes started back at me, fear evident in each and every piercing gaze.

I felt the familiar feeling of guilt seep into my chest as I saw how worried they all were about me.

Why did I always have to be so dramatic? I'd hurt them yet again. When will you stop being such a burden?

I flinched back slightly as Nicole's hand made contact with my bare forearm, pulling me out of the degrading session that was currently taking place in my head. I looked over at her and was met with her piercing blue eyes, her brows scrunching together as she started into my identical blue hues, an unreadable expression on her face. She seemed to be looking for something. I wasn't sure what, but what I did know is that it was making me feel exposed.

I felt like an open book. Like she could see each and every dark thought and secret in my mind. Like she was analyzing me with her penetrating stare.

I don't know if it was just a twin thing, but I always felt like she could see right through me. No matter how hard I tried to keep my façade up she could always tell when my smiles were fake, I laughed a little too long at something, or when I said I felt fine but really felt awful. She always noticed. Always.

Finally her gaze softened, a small frown making its way onto her face. "You okay?" She asked quietly.

I gave her a small nod, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat before asking, "W-What just happened?"

She closed her eyes for a moment before reopening them and shaking her head as she said, "I honestly have no clue."

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Hey guys! Little surprise update for you<3

What do you think about Lexi getting drunk?

Did you like Grayson's pov, and would you like to see anyone else's?

Also what's going on with Lindsay? Any ideas on why she's so mad?

Let me know in the comments! Also would any of you like me to start doing a word count? If so let me know in the comments as well:)

Have a good night everyone, and please vote if you liked this chapter!🤍✨

Word count 2143