In my soul rushed darkness. Cold, but I no longer feel cold. Pleasant, but this feeling does not seem to touch me. I am among the sea of endless darkness. Without end and without beginning. I fly like a little ball of light. I see nothing… I don’t hear anything… I don’t feel anything. Everything was an endless string of desolation and timelessness. The silence was deafening. Around me was a space. Seemed to be located in Space, except that there was not a planet. Me, the hovering light globe, waiting. But what? I don’t know. Maybe I was waiting for something to happen. This little thing among the infinity of nothingness was me. One spirit. Soul who has left the remains of a sinful creature. But now I was at peace. What was before, now do not exist. Actions, emotions, biases… It’s over. As to pluck leaves and filled its place remained a brand new white sheet, expected to be completed. But I waited. There is no Hell or Haven. Or maybe I was among them. I was waiting to be born again. A new life. A new beginning.
Peace, which I encirclement was acceptable. There was nothing that would affect me. I was floating free and spiritual. I had no memories. Neither past. There was only an endless waiting for the present and future. Here, where I am at this moment devoid of time limits, there was nothing to bother me. I did not know any emotion or feelings or desires. Nothing burdens me. Sounds great, but I would not say it that way. There are no words to describe it. But like everything else, and that “existence” is ever going to reach its end. But every end is new beginning.
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I was born again. The town was small but with very nice people. My childhood passed in endless games. As in a fairy tale. If a stranger came to the place, he described it as “unreal”. I loved my home. I loved the winding cobbled streets. Small houses painted in white or peach color, with a shining on the sun red tile roofs. Some had white walls, while others had stone wall or hedge. The scent of flowers and freshly baked bread gave this place a magical appearance. I loved to walk the streets and watching the windows of small shops. I was greeted the vendors with a smile and they give me reciprocation. But mostly I loved the woods. Her smell. Ancient stories, whispered the wind in the leaves of trees. Endless rush of streams and the songs of birds. There was quiet. But that always so? Would can exist place like this or just the fruit of my imagination?
I ask myself these questions every day of the 17 years since I was on this earth. Well, maybe a little more recently. In the books I read was about the battles between good and evil. But there was no such thing. Like the guards who kept us was just a decoration on the wall. It’s there, but does nothing. I never gathered enough courage to ask my parents or even my older sister Lira. And she was a little busy with her countless suitors. Well, yes! I admit that she is a great beauty. Her hair was long and golden like wheat class, and her eyes – the blue of the sky. Yes, she was a real gem. No wonder that the boys adore her. And she was only three years older than me. But she cared for me like I was most precious jewel. We were different. I had dark hair and my eyes were green. I look like my father – Lester, and Lira looked like our mom – Sarah. I don’t know which of my parents had chosen my name – Freya. But I like it.
Summer had just arrived and everything was just wonderful. The sun was shining and it was very hot. I like to hide from him in the town library (town’s name is Arwen). For some reason there was always dark and cold. This place was my salvation from the heat. And I loved the books, although every one of my relatives tells me that I must think how to get married. Honestly I never thought about it. I loved my freedom.
I was stopped of the knight story when I saw the old librarian. He lame says something under his nose. I do not understand what he says. I left the book and went to the old man. But he ignored me. I stood there and watched him. It was very interesting. But it appears my friend Ali and told me that we should go to help in the pub. There was always work because the passengers. And I worked there fairly often. They did not pay much but at least I was able to hear the stories of passengers. And I could take care of myself in case anyone bothering me. And Albert helped me. He was a good man.
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Both with Ali put their aprons and grabbed trays. There were many people and a lot of work. I think there was any celebration. The good thing was that I knew everyone. Decent people. None of them do not overdo the alcohol. At least not to deal with drunks. This was good news, though it doesn’t surprise me. But while traveling around to serve, I noticed something new. In this part of the pub, where was the fireplace and that for some reason remained the most dimly lit, sitting figure. Nobody had noticed his appearance. Dark figure surrounded by a large black cloak with a hood concealing it entirely. Nobody had service since. Waitresses were afraid to go there, and Albert looked at him with mild suspicion. Finally, I gathered courage and went to the table of the “Stranger”. I pressed the tray against my chest.
-What to bring you, sir?
He said nothing, but pointed to one of the barrels. And yes… I was sure he was a man.
-Oh! You want wine? Now, sir.
I headed to the counter, where Albert was wiping the wooden bowls with a cloth. I put the tray in front of him and told him the contract to the guest.
-The man wants wine.
-Be careful with him, Freya. I don’t like him.
He put a jug of red wine and a cup on the tray and I took it. I carefully put the charge on the table. The man handed me a few coins. I took only what was needed. I smiled slightly and moved away. All of the waitresses gathered around me. Everyone asks me questions and I was really messed up. How he looks like? Is he young? Or he is old? Is he pretty or ugly? They don’t let me to say even one word. I don’t like to fall into a similar situation. And I had not the answers of these questions.
