The Thing About Samuel

Chapter Forty-Four - Jason

Jason - August 2019

Jason shuffled in his suit, awkwardly observing the family as they all filtered into the room where the evening section of the wedding would take place.
​'Well, it has transpired through my many conversations with Michael and Donna's friends and family, that the reason they managed to get this place so cheap was that the bride of another wedding who happens to be a friend of a friend of Donna's, cancelled their wedding last minute,' Jason's mum whispered as she came to his side. 'Of course, I didn't think it was polite to ask too many questions when it has afforded these two the chance to finally tie the knot.'
​They shared a laugh. 'It's been a beautiful day. She would have loved it.'
​'She definitely would have.' Jason felt his mum squeeze his arm affectionately.
​And now, as Jason stood beside his mum and his sixteen year old son, also suited and booted, he took a moment to appreciate what a young man his son was becoming and a fond memory flashed back to when he and his dad first started working together and they attended the barbeque at the Roberts' household. He shook his head.
​'You okay, Dad?'
​'Fine, Son.' He smiled.
​The last four weeks had been odd for them both. Since Annabelle had passed away they had grown closer and closer, and he couldn't recall a time they hadn't spoken. They were talking again now, which Jason was thankful for, but there still remained the secret they didn't talk about. Sam still had no understanding of what Ryan meant to Jason or the effect he'd had on their life...
​'This place is amazing!' Sam commented, cheerfully.
​'Beautiful,' his mum added.
​Jason returned their smiles before taking first proper notice of the room. Much like the wedding room, all the chairs were draped with a fine white cloth and banded to the chair tightly with a gold bow. This time they were situated around round tables topped with the same cloth and tall flutes of flowers positioned on planks of wood and surrounded with glittering muslin bags. Chilled buckets of ice presented dark bottles of expensive looking wine for every table to share. The whole ceiling had the same snowy material draped down to the floor, all originating from a singular point on the ceiling where a modern chandelier branched down into the room and stretched out to tips of glimmering fibre optic white light.
​'It's so pretty. Something only your mum could have imagined, I bet.' Jason pressed his lips into a smile.
​'Sam!' A girl called his son's name as the attendees that were invited to the evening only appeared to start turning up. Most of which appeared to be those from the camping trip.
​Isla, Dennis's daughter, ran over and greeted Sam with a hug. Jason nodded to Dennis.
​'You ready to dance?' Isla cheered.
​Jason watched as his son awkwardly shuffled.
​'Maybe.'
​Jason laughed as he realised just how alike they also were.
​'Sam, Isla!' Billy also appeared.
​'My dad says they're about to bring out the pick and mix table. Let's go get in line first!'
​'Will you be alright, Dad?'
​Jason nodded. 'Go ahead.'
​With that, Sam ran off with Billy and Isla, and soon Dennis was whisked away by his wife too. Jason watched as Isla rooted Billy to the spot, despite him trying to pull away to the table of sweets that were being set up in a corner of the room. And then to his son, who took Isla's hand and began to sway to the music, and laugh, and joke with his friends.
​'You've done a good job with him, Jase. Annabelle and your dad would be proud.'
​Jason looked to his mum's kind face, as she wiped a little tear from the corner of her eye.
​'You look beautiful, Mum. And thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.'
​She let out a small laugh and arched her eyes. 'We make a good team, us three. Of course, maybe eventually you'll let someone else back in.'
​Jason smirked. 'I'm fine with just me and Sam for now.'
​She sighed. 'You'd be surprised how quickly 'for now' turns into much longer. Of course, I was older when I lost your dad. But I still think about him, and I'm lucky I have you nearby. But you know, as your mum, I do worry about who is looking out for you, too.'
​Jason moved his eyes back to his son, who was now throwing his arms around in some kind of attempt at the Macarena along with Isla and Billy. He laughed as he saw Joe and Arty also making their way across the dancefloor towards his son.
​'He's only sixteen, I've got him around for another few years at least.'
​Jason felt his mum's fingers link through his and squeeze.
​'Just know that Annabelle would want you to be happy, Jase. We all do.'
​Jason breathed out, shakily. 'I know, Mum. I know.'

'Ladies and gentlemen!'
A voice crackled through two large speakers at the end of the room. 'You have all been fed, you have all had a little dance,' Jason scoffed, he hadn't yet made it to the dance floor. 'And now, it's time to welcome your guests of honour to the dancefloor.' The DJ called from behind his desk at the end of the room.
​'Please, welcome to the dance floor, the new, Mr. and Mrs. Brown!'
A cheer and applause rang around the room, as all the smartly dressed audience parted and vacated the stained wood herringbone dancefloor. The lighting softened as Jason watched his best friend take to the floor, his brow slightly sweaty, his face a little red, but a huge grin across his face and a look of unfaltering adoration toward his wife, Donna, who joined him. Her dress was a smooth material with frilly detail running along every hem, and coating the shoulders, chest, and hips. She glistened in the lights as she moved to Michael's side.
​As the applause, whistles, and cheers settled, the opening strum of Christina Perri's 'A Thousand Years' began to play through the speakers, and Michael and Donna moved in closer to each other and began to sway.
​The clapping and cheers returned as they swayed to-and-fro with each other, giggling, nose-touching, and gently pecking. A few bars in, their eyes caught those of their son, Billy, who stood beside Sam at the edge of the dancefloor. When they gestured for him to join them, he shook his head and laughed however his grandparents steadily took up the invitation to join Michael and Donna on the dancefloor instead.
​But then, Jason's heart sank, as Michael pointed at Jason and a spotlight seemed to find its way to him by the bar. His heart thudded, madly. He waved it off.
​'No, no!' He grinned, but nobody could hear him over the music.
​And now Donna was also madly waving her arms at him. He shrugged. What was he doing? He couldn't go onto the dance floor alone!
​'Come here, Son!' his mum's voice chirped, as she linked her arm through his and marched him towards the crowd of people dancing.
​As his toes met the edge of the dancefloor, Jason looked up and took a deep breath in. He suddenly couldn't go any further. Michael and Donna's eyes locked with his once again and they chuckled, before gesturing yet again for him to join them on the dancefloor.
​'I'll take him from here, Grandma,' Sam's voice came from his side.
​'What?'
​'Let's dance,' Sam smiled, and gave his grandma a wink, who returned it with a smile.
​'What are you two up to? And just us two, together?'
​Sam nodded and laughed. 'Nothing. And yes, together. I think Mum would want us to.'
​Jason felt his mum let go, and all the tension seeped away from his muscles as his son took his hand and they walked out onto the dancefloor hand in hand.
​Suddenly, it was just Jason and his son. Everything else around them seemed to blur away, and Christina Perri's lyrics and the band's music were in the distance somewhere.
​'Thanks, Sam.'
​His son shrugged, a smile spreading across his face. 'Mum would find this funny, I think.'
​'Oh, definitely. She knows I'm not much of a dancer.'
​'You're doing alright, Dad.'
​'I don't know, I think I've already stepped on your toes a few times.'
​They laughed, but then Jason saw his son's eyes looking into his. This was about more than dancing. 'I mean at everything. Me, you, Mum. You've done good. We're okay.' In the corner of his eye, the light glinted in a small pool of a tear.
​'We're a good team,' Jason agreed.
​'Dad, there's something I want to tell you.'
​Jason's heart began to beat hard again. A look of embarrassment flashed across Sam's face, and then he looked to him again.
​'I know your secret,' he whispered.
​'What secret?'
​Jason's heart started to pound hard. What did he mean?
​'I know about the letter. The one that Mum wrote in her notebook. The notebook you then gave to me.'
​'Oh...' Jason hadn't thought about the letter too much beyond hurriedly tearing it from the notebook before giving it to Sam. He had, of course, hoped there wasn't anything in there that would tell Sam more than he needed to, or before Jason would get the chance to talk to him himself. But other than that, he had only read the letter once before folding it away and putting it all back in the wardrobe. He wasn't ready to move on yet. Even if Annabelle had said it would be okay.
​'I would have shown you eventually,' he offered to Sam.
​'I know, Dad. I know. You don't need to say anything. We're good. Mum will always be with us though. So, if one day you did want to move on, I just want you to know that I'm okay with that. Okay? We will be fine.'
​Jason nodded, his back teeth pressing together to halt the tears from moving up to stream through his eyes. However, a few escaped, and he had to quickly wipe them away.
​'May I cut in?'
The voice came out of the blurred mist around them as a familiar hand seemed to take Jason's, other than that of his son's.
​As Jason slowly turned, he realised that Sam was passing his hand over to that of a very smartly clad, well-groomed man, who smiled gently back. Ryan. Jason's eyes shot down to his son.
​'It's okay, Dad. I love you.'
​Jason, shaking, allowed his other hand to find that of Ryan's, feeling his son's hand disappear as he moved backwards, smiling, and offering a gentle nod saying, 'this is okay.' He turned to Ryan.
​For a few bars of the song, they didn't speak, they just moved in closer. Jason resisted the urge to instantly move in close to Ryan, but somehow their bodies seemed to naturally fall into rhythm, swaying side to side, until their hands were locked on one side, and each of their hands had found the small of the back of the other.
​'I...' they both went to speak at the same time, and then sighed.
​'I'm sorry, Jason,' Ryan offered sincerely.
​'I know,' he sniffled. 'Me too.'
​'I didn't want to leave you, or Annabelle, all those years ago, you know? It's just when I found out about the baby, I didn't feel right sticking around. I never imagined he would be the one to bring me back to you. It wouldn't have been fair to you, or to me. I couldn't fall out of love with you, and I could see how in love you and Annabelle were, or could be. And she wasn't just my cousin, she was my best friend.' Ryan sniffled, and Jason couldn't speak. He just listened, as they gently moved. 'I couldn't take you away from her either, if that was even a possibility.'
​Ryan took a deep, steadying breath and raised his eyes to meet Jason's. 'I moved to central London and got an amazing job at an advertising agency which I quickly advanced through, of course,' he joked, and Jason laughed, snottily. He was still the same confident Ryan, somewhere inside.
​'But even with a career to distract me, I couldn't stop thinking about you, about us. So, I moved to the Lake District and launched the hotel. It was the closest I could be to you without ruining everything you and Annabelle had. I went back to where I fell in love with you.'
​Jason relaxed, but the word rattled around his head. Love.
​'Sorry, I know this is a lot. I've been thinking about it for years; the right way to tell you.'
​Jason didn't speak, he just stared over Ryan's shoulder at Sam, who stood with his mum, watching, a smile across his face and glistening cheeks.
​'Did Sam invite you?' Jason finally croaked.
​Ryan laughed. 'He did. I did tell him to ask you first or at least give you warning after what happened at the campsite, but he said he asked his mum and she was fine with it.' They sniggered together. 'By the way, you've done an amazing job with him. He's incredible, and I see so much of Annabelle in him.'
​Jason smiled, and nodded to Sam, who returned it and then made a gesture which suggested he should be listening to Ryan instead of staring at him.
​'He is. That's the thing about him, just like his mum, he just always seems to know the right thing to do,' Jason smirked.