damnation → the walking dead ⁴

[ 005 ] who are you now?

"Odessa—"

"No! Dale, listen! I have killed so many people since you've died. I am not the same girl I was when I sided with you about Randall. If I was the person I am now I would have shot him dead." She hisses. "The moment he talked about rape, I would have killed him. I wouldn't even think about it. No one on this Earth deserves that."

Dale watches her sadly. He knows how badly she is hurting because he is her. They are all apart of Odessa. Each and everyone of them feel her pain, they feel her love, they feel everything she does. They know her anger, they know her sadness.

"I don't care if you hate me because you're not fucking real. You're dead. You've been dead for almost two goddamn years. You're a figment of my imagination. You're a ghost." She whispers the final word.

Dale stares at her. There isn't a hint of hurt or shock on his face. It infuriates Odessa when he smiles sadly at her. "I am real, Odessa. I am more real now than I was when I was alive."

"Shut up," she hisses, still towering over a seated Dale. She squeezes her eyes shut and clamps her trembling hands over her ears. "Shut up, Dale!"

When she opens her eyes, Dale is no longer there. She heaves in a deep breath and curls herself back into her corner. When she thinks it's done, sudden voices shout inside her skull, "you are the same. The same as him. The same as the man who killed your best friend. You're Negan. You always have been and will be."

And it hurts. It rips her heart from her chest because the voices are right. Whoever they are, they're right. More right than they have ever been. Odessa is not a good person, she realizes this now. She bites her knuckle. "Shut up," she whispers pathetically.

"Who are you now? Odessa, you have become a monster. You have become the very thing you feared. You are Shane, and, the Governor, and Gareth, and Killian, and the Wolves, and Negan. You are evil and you deserve to die."

She does not cry. She presses her hands to her ears again in a feeble attempt to block out the voices. She does not succeed.

"You murdered Shane that night to keep yourself alive. You are selfish. You say you killed him to keep your father and brother safe but that's not the truth is it? You hated him. You still do. You wanted to kill him the moment you found out about him fucking your mom." The voices are thunder now. It's so loud that Odessa's head starts to pound with a horrid migraine.

"Stop," Odessa pleads. And though her eyes well with tears, they do not spill over. She will stay true to her word. She isn't going to cry until she escapes this place. She squeezes them shut tightly.

"We say you're as bad as Negan but we're mistaken. You are worse. You don't care about your family. You are a liar and murderer. You're a thief and you're pathetic. You are nothing but a selfish bitch."

The voices screech in her mind. They're usually so scattered but now they are all combined into one horrifying voice. They are all still there, she can hear them all. The loudest voice is deep, but she can hear the hissing voices around the edges.

"Please, leave me alone," Odesa begs them. "Please."

"Why should we? When Francis begged you not to kill him did you listen? No, you stabbed him. It was overkill. When Randall begged you to stop when you tortured him, did you? No. You beat him until he couldn't hear from his left ear. You're a monster." The voices slither around inside her skull. They wrap around her brain and begin to squeeze.

She cries out at the sharp pain in her head. "Stop!" She cries out. "I'm begging you!"

Odessa wonders if ending her own life would stop the voices. If she took her hidden knife and drug it across her wrists if the voices would finally shut up.

"Open your eyes." The voices hiss. She refuses. "Open your eyes and we will leave you alone."

And though Odessa doesn't believe them, she has naive hope they will do as they say. And when she opens her eyes, she screams. At least she thinks she does. She isn't sure what is real and what isn't anymore.

Sitting against the wall from her is Francis. She tries to push herself farther into the wall but she can't go anywhere.

He's staring at her. On his knuckles are her brass knuckles. Beside him is a cloth, her twin blades lay on the stained cloth.

He stands. Odessa refuses to look at him. "Get on your knees." He tells her. She shakes her head rapidly. He grabs her hair, she cries out. Her hands shoot to his in attempt to pry his hand from her hair. He forces her onto her knees.

He then grabs her chin roughly and makes her look at him. Her eyes are full of frightened tears. And still they do not fall. Her mouth is slightly open, heavy breaths come out in a rapid pace.

"We are real, Odessa Grimes." He tells her. "You cannot get rid of us."

She gasps when the first blow lands. Her head whips to the side. A cut opens on her cheek bone. She looks back at Francis. As soon as their eyes lock again, he hits her. She lands on her side this time. She hits her already throbbing head. Francis moves to straddle her.

Her heart stops. Her whole body freezes. No. Not again. She starts to fight but Francis hits her. He leans closer and whispers in her ear, "I am not that ghost."

He hits her until blood drips from her nose and mouth. There are bruises and cuts lining her face. It isn't until her eyes are blank and staring at the wall does Francis finally disappear.

He leaves Odessa Grimes dead in her cell.

______________________________

word count: 1,673
episode: original episode

so....

that was a lot. ik y'all are trying to process what just happened but yes, i did just kill off odessa. you might say, "morgan, what about your comments on your message board?" i was keeping y'all off my ass. i did kinda mention it in the last book, what if i killed odessa? it would be the biggest plot twist of the entire series. and yet it's happened.

y'all are probably like crying yourself an entire rainstorm rn because i did too while writing this chapter. it's sad and heartbreaking. odessa 100% deserved better than what i've given her but i can't make up for it now.

but she's with beth, glenn, lori, hershel, abraham, noah, sophia, dale, tyreese, bob, andrea, t-dog, and everyone else now. maybe she's at peace knowing she's with them now. maybe she's not at peace knowing she's dead and her family is still alive and awaits negan's cruelty.

if you guys don't remember who francis is, reread the first chapter of found lands. he's the man odessa kills outside of terminus. and well, y'all don't need a reminder as to who killian is. at least i hope y'all don't.

how is everyone going to react to odessa's death? give me y'all's predictions as to how the hilltop and alexandria is going to react to it, as well as rick and carl's reactions. that's going to break y'all's little hearts.

i did tell y'all her hallucinations were getting worse. the voices were getting worse for her as well. will y'all get an explanation as to what exactly happened in this chapter?? hmmm, idk.

i hope you're resting in peace, odessa winona grimes. i love you so much and i'm so sorry for what i put you through. i hope you're dancing with beth in the rain <3.

but is she really dead though 🤨?