Chapter 19: Panic

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Morning will never be a good time for anything.

The plan I originally had for today was to sleep in a little bit. But no. Yonda woke me up. I'm not entirely sure why, but I decided that since I'm awake, I might as well make sure the things that need to be in order are in order.

Except I'm basically under house arrest until three. No one's letting me leave. Which would've been great if I was able to sleep longer, but oh well.

So because of that, I have no idea what to do until nine. Yes, Yonda woke me up at seven and I currently hate her for it.

I decided to make pancakes (or whatever breakfast food strikes your fancy). Half that cooking time was spent spacing out and then remembering I might burn my sister's house down if I keep the pan on for too long.

It was good, though. My three bridesmaids and I ate together, for the most part sharing the same temporary resentment for Yonda.

We decided it would be a good time to start getting ready a little before nine, seeing as none of us have any idea what we're doing. It took us forever to even figure out the basics of what we're doing.

We eventually made some progress, though, because now we're attempting to make it into our dresses without messing up our hair or makeup. It's a lot more difficult than you would think.

By some miracle, it was done, though. Fuyumi, Yonda and Emi were in their light blue dresses, and they were helping me practically dive into mine. It was a lot more fabric than I remember. A lot heavier, too. Although that might just be the nerves.

I awkwardly stood there while Yonda tied it up in the back, coming back to my front and adjusting a few minor details. She then grabbed the pale blue sash from the table beside her and wrapped it around my waist.

"So pretty," she said once she was finished fine-tuning the details.

Emi stepped closer to me, holding a slim black box in her hand. "Mom wanted me to give you this since she and dad are at the venue making sure everything is in order." She opened the box, revealing a thin silver chain with a small, dainty sapphire charm.

"Woah." My eyes widened at the piece of jewelry in front of me. "This is . . . I don't wanna touch it. I feel like I'm gonna break it or something."

Emi chortled, carefully taking it out of the box and moving behind me. "Mom wore this when she got married to dad, and they're still together so it much be good luck, right? This was Grandma's before."

"This is gonna be broken by the end of the night," I said, shocked by how cold the metal was. It cooled me down a bit, seeing as the dress I'm wearing is not only heave, but also has long sleeves and Emi's house is heated.

The dress was two parts, the main dress and a coat that could basically be part of it if it wanted to be. Since it's going to stay around eighteen degrees the whole day, I decided to keep it on unless I decided later I didn't need it.

Honestly, after that everything's a bit of a blue. Emi realized we were all going to be late, shoved us into her car, drove full speed towards the gazebo and hid me behind the porta potty.

And then my dad joined me a few minutes later, warding off anyone that needed to use the bathroom because I'm here. It was actually pretty entertaining to see him frantically wave his arms around.

Now, you night be wondering why there isn't an actual building that can be used anywhere around here. Truthfully, I have no idea. It's really just a big gazebo in the middle of a nice park. No waiting buildings around whatsoever.

Anyways, we just stood there for a few minutes. Talking. Dad asking yet again if we had done the Devil's tango. Me getting flustered and not answering. Overall just waiting.

Emi quickly came to walk us to the gazebo, seeing as she's my maid of honor. She quickly made a few tweaks to my dress, fluffing out the skirt a bit and adjusting the necklace.

She smiled warmly, pulling me into a quick hug. When she pulled away, she dabbed her eyes and nodded, turning around and walking down.

"May all rise for the bride."

Oh shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshtishtihkfnshioahfinla.

Oh fuck.

What if this is all just some weird sort of elaborate thing.

Or what if I trip.

Or someone objects for some reason.

Or Natsuo doesn't want to actually get married? What if he had second thoughts and didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but now he's also panicking because this is actually happening.

I mean I absolutely trust that this is something he wants to do, but there's still that chance and what if.

The next thing I know is that I was sitting in a chair. Emi was kneeling in front of me, rubbing her hands up and down my arms. Her mouth was moving, but no words were leaving it. Her mouth stopped moving, realizing her words weren't reaching me. She stood up, saying something else before walking away again.

This time Natsuo was kneeling in front of me, grasping my hands and bringing them up to kiss them. He said something, but I don't know what.

He pulled me close to him. Just him being with me alone was able to start bringing me back down and out of my head. I finally calmed down enough to hear him softly telling me, "It's okay. Everything's going right. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I eventually calmed down enough to realize I was crying—no, sobbing just now. I took a few more shaky deep breaths before raising my head from his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said as he wiped my eyes. "I don't know what happened everything just—"

"It's okay, it's not your fault. It's just a little bit overwhelming, I know." He pressed a firm, lasting kiss to my temple. "You look so gorgeous, by the way. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

I nodded, taking his hands again and squeezing them. He kissed my forehead, standing up and saying, "Walk down when you're ready, but try to make it quick? I really, really want to marry you."

I cracked a smile, standing up as well and bringing him down for a quick kiss. He pulled away smiling like an idiot, saying, "I love you," before walking back to his spot at the altar.

I stood there for maybe a minute more, pushing down the bad thoughts. I made eye contact with my dad, realizing Emi and Mom were standing there, too.

"You okay now?" Dad asked. I nodded, watching him and Mom breath a sigh of relief before sharing a few words. "Do you think you're ready to walk down, now?"

I nodded again, this time a big smile crossing my face. I brought my hand up to my cheeks to check for any wet makeup, silently thanking Emi for deciding to use waterproof mascara.

I took Dad by the arm and waited for mom and Emi to make it back down to where they were.

"Here we go," Dad whispered in an excited tone.

I didn't know I could have this much excitement so soon after a breakdown.

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