Next In Line

Chapter 6: Insert Training Montage Here

Being the offspring of a notorious criminal, it was expected that Mike Jr. and Josephine's lives (and afterlives) would be consistently thrilling and filled to the brim with twists and turns. But no amount of unpredictable chaos could top what had happened the previous day. After being sent out to retrieve a magical staff for their scheming mother, the twins soon discovered the secret supervillain lair she'd built under their mansion, before getting a full taste of her ultimate evil plan and the goons she'd recruited to help her out. While it was nice to learn a bit more about what Katherine was up to, it only made the twins' own scheme harder to concoct. There was a chance it could be too simple to counteract it, but Josephine, who couldn't even remember the last time she was wrong about something, insisted that they'd be fine.

For now, the two decided that the best thing they could do was play along. The following morning, they woke up bright and early to meet their mother in the lair, alongside Queen Cobra, Pygmy Hippo, and Balthazar. This time, they were in a separate room they'd never seen before, containing a rack filled with varied weaponry and a wrestling ring in the center.

"Well, it's great to see everyone back here bright and early," Katherine chirped, her cheeky grin accompanied by a twitch of the eye.

"Yeah, yeah, save it Mom." Josephine folded her arms, scowling as always. No way her mother hadn't chugged a surplus of coffee before arriving here. She was never as pessimistic as her father, but she was never this perky either. "Just tell us what we're doing here."

"Well since you asked so nicely, I figured that since we've finally assembled a team, we should hone our fighting abilities so we can be truly unstoppable. Voodoo can't solve all our problems, can it?"

"No, I suppose not." Balthazar shrugged, looking about as eager to be here as the twins were.

"нет." Queen Cobra shook her head.

"Fantastic! So now it's time to test out all of your base abilities, and we'll go from there," Katherine explained. "Let's start with the more seasoned criminals, shall we?"

"Wait, what the hell?! But we're seas- mmpphh!" Mike Jr. was silenced by his sister kneeing him in the groin, leaving him writhing on the floor.

"Pygmy Hippo? You're up."

In response to a boxing chime, the overweight Asian guy got a sprinting start and clumsily flipped into the ring, adjusting his luchador mask and sumo bottoms as he stood back up. He pounded his chest and shadowboxed a bit to pump himself up, watching with a cocky grin as a random woman in a bedazzled bikini opened a large door, releasing a troupe of trained langur monkeys that made a beeline for him. At the same time a similarly-dressed woman briefly strutted across the ring with a "Round 1" sign.

"As you all can see, we don't just use boring old training dummies down here," Katherine said. "Totally evil, am I right?"

"Yep, totally," Josephine snarked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh man, please tell me there are bears in there! What I'd give to wrestle with one in a cage match!" Mike Jr. had on a grin that would put the Joker to shame.

"Wrestling with bears is child's play where I'm from," Queen Cobra replied with her usual stoicism.

So far, it seemed that Pygmy Hippo's fighting prowess was matching up to the level of his ego. Those small monkeys were a little tough to hand a hit on, given their agility, but each one went down pretty fast, no thanks to his trademark combination of boxing and lucha libre. He seemed to be keeping a good pace, knocking out each langur with his jabs and hooks, and sometimes taking out a small cluster of them with his aerial wrestling maneuvers.