A Fading Memory

Lover

I woke up again. This time I was in a hospital bed and there was a person sitting on the bed. He looked around the same age as me. He was skinny and pale. He saw my eyes open and he smiled, jumping towards me.

"Felix! You're awake!" He seemed happy and his hands were practically shaking. I looked him in the eyes and they were light green. It reminded me of when my grandmother and I would go outside and have picnics in her garden. Too bad she passed away.

"I waited forever. I need to show you something! It's really important! Well to me at least,." hHe giggled and grabbed my wrist gently. I usually wouldn't let people do that to me but I feel something different with him. But I don't even know him? I must be going mad.

We got off the bed then sneaked out into the hallway. Anytime we saw a doctor or nurse pass by we would quickly hide behind a door. It was super risky, but I felt safe with him. His hand was sweaty but I didn't mind it. The hospital bracelet moved up and down his wrist as he ran and his slightly long hair bounced. He looked like an angel, which was a coincidence because we were breaking the rules right now.

We finally got to the door's destination and the boy holding my hand seemed to glow. He slowly opened the door and my eyes were blinded with the bright light. It took a second to get used to but then I realized that it was snowing. Light and fluffy snowflakes fell softly on the ground while the boy smiled. He dragged me out the doorway and the doors slammed shut behind us. We fell down to the ground and I heard his laugh. It was gentle and nice sounding. My heart skipped a beat and I felt myself smile. It has been awhile since I have smiled, but I feel as if it's okay to smile with this boy.

"Felix," he tilts his head towards me and I jump, "when we get out of this hospital, we should move in together. There are plenty of apartments here and we can even get one out of the city if you would like!"

His smile made my cheeks warm up despite the cold snow hitting against my body. I nodded and he squeezed my hand tighter. At this moment I forgot everything. I don't need to be normal with him because he's not normal. He's perfect.

I wanted to say something to him but he started to get up. His footsteps could only slightly be heard as he walked to the fence that blocked off the edge. It was tall enough to where you had to climb up to reach over it, and that's what the boy started to do.

"Sorry. I know I just said we could get an apartment, but I forgot one major detail. Today the doctors said that you would be leaving the hospital today. That's why I brought you up here. I still have to stay here for another three years. You're going to forget about me by then." He laughed quietly and I could see moisture forming in his eyes. He was crying.

I got up and grabbed his wrist, shaking my head. I could never forget someone like him. Even if I don't know his name.

"You say that now but it will be different later. You're going to meet new people and you'll forget this hospital ever existed. You'll be happier." The tears started pouring down his face and I could feel my heartbreak. It's not true.

"We are both going to be leaving today, actually. Instead I will be leaving the whole world. I am not going to be living a day without you. It's impossible. I am never going through the pain of abandonment again. I can't handle it. You mean so much to me and I don't think I could ever lose you. You might not feel the same way about me, but I feel like I should share that with you before, you know, I jump. I'll finally be able to achieve my dream of flying." His crying stopped and he looked at me, smiling.

I tried to pull him away from the fence but his grip was strong. I almost feel a sense that this has already happened before. Almost like deja vu. His foot moved into another hole in the gate and I felt my body start to shake. I don't want him to leave. Not yet. If I am leaving today then we could have a whole day to spend together. I don't want to see him do this. He could at least do it while I am gone and he is not right in front of me. I love him.

The words shock me. I never thought I would be capable of loving someone. My mother always taught me that loving someone would always leave me in sadness. And now I see what she means. My lover is going to leave me. But, I am also leaving him in a way.

"But before I go, I do have something to say to you." He makes eye contact with me and I tilt my head in confusion.

"I love you."

And then he jumped. Gone. Forever. That's when everything went black.