The Own Goal ✔️

Part 88

"Hey"

"Are you ok?"

I get the 'pfft' face "wonderful bab"

"Jack....." I walk towards him and slide my arms around his waist.
"Are you ok?" I repeat.

"Yeah, tired" he wraps his arms around me loosely.
"Actually no, in fucked, totally fucked" he slumps into me. He presses his head against mine and I hold him tighter.
I feel emotional, how many times the past months have I not been there for him when he's felt like this.
He squeezes me back.
"Oh, on the radio it said there's a delay with the trains - "

" - I know, your mum literally just called, they got off at Birmingham, they're taking Mia back to theirs and they'll bring her back tomorrow and pick up the car, did you see them?"

"Yeah briefly, probably not a bad thing they're havin' her y'know, me dad bought her a huge bag of pic n mix, an' she was runnun' around with Ronnie like a pair of fuckin' asbos!"
He chuckles, I groan.

"Oh god....."

"How's Esme?" He pulls back slightly.

"Not too bad actually, sleepier than normal" I pause "is it terrible that I'm kind of ok with that?"

He gives me a look that's just heartbreakingly beautiful. "If ya asking if it makes ya a bad mom, the ansa's no...."

Jack heads off to the lounge to check on her while I head off to rustle us up a snack, and grab some ice for his shin, that always now needs a bit of attention after a full 90 minutes.

I find him feet up, Esme sleeping on  his shoulder "did she wake?"

"Nah, I jus' couldn't resist her, dunno how I'm supposed to manage y'know, three girls taking up me heart"
I smile as I place the ice pack on his shin.
"She's even got one on her eyelid" he says sadly.

"I know....."
I place the plate of cheese and crackers and crusty white bread and pate down between us.

"This ok? Figured you'd have been macro controlled to death this week"

"Perfect" he beams "so when ya took her to the Dr, ya spoke about you yeah?"
I'd briefly filled him in when I'd updated him on the chicken pox situation last night.
"Yeah, I'll call the therapists office Monday"

"I'll come" he crunches on the bread "if ya want me too"

I nod and smile because I don't really want to talk about it, not right now.
Right now it feels like a lifeline has been thrown to us, Mia isn't here and Esme is peaceful.
And I feel nothing but love for the man next to me.

I take Jack up on his offer to give Esme a bottle and settle her while I have a bath.
He showers while I dry my hair, and I unashamedly watch him the whole time in the mirror.

When I'm done I disappear to check on Esme and grab my pyjamas, when I return Jack is sitting with his towel around his waist, at the vanity unit drying his own hair. He looks so tired.
He's drying it flat, the stylist in me takes over and takes the hairdryer from him. I pick up his brush and start drying and brushing his hair for him. Our eyes meeting in the mirror.
It's hardly anything, but I used to do this for him all the time. It's been months since I have and it feels very intimate after so long.
Like a cat he leans into the brush.
I run my fingers through the underneath of his longer hair on top.
Whoever cut his hair last did a shocking job, hacking his fade into an awful undercut. I vow to fix it for him, but I dont bother saying anything now.
His eyes are glued to my face.
"Feels good" he finally says.

"Your hair feels good" I kiss the top of his head before squeezing a drop of morrocan oil onto my hands and smoothing it through his hair.

"I don' really like how the bloke cut it.......can ya start again, if ya feel like it?"

"Of course I can, I'm trying...." I twist a strand of his hair between my fingers "I'm trying to find myself again"

He sighs heavily.
"I know ya in there"

I suddenly feel overcome by an urge to show him, show him how much he means to me, show him what I want us to get back to, show him who I want to be again.

"Turn around"

"Huh?" He scruches his face up

"Face me"

He swings his legs around the chair and I drop to my knees, tugging at the towel until it falls open.
I fight the urge to say something, because a year ago he'd have already been rock solid just from me doing his hair.
But I feel I can't without the rejection I feel being voiced, and I know that's silly and it's probably not even rejection, not really, more likely the result of my constant rejections on him......oh god, how have I made him feel?
I tell myself if I can get him hard within three minutes then he still fancies me....
But it's stupid of me to even worry because as I kiss his thigh his hand winds through my fresh curls and he pulls my head to make me look at him.
As my eyes travel to his face, and they pass his cock of course he's already hard and throbbing......

I take him in my mouth and pull out all the tricks. Every single thing he likes, I alternate between verging on too rough, to being frustratingly slow.
He's moaning and panting and it really isn't long before I feel his thighs tense.
So I stop.
I make eye contact and his face is begging me to continue.
I scan my eyes up and down him, taking in every line, hair and freckle.
When I take him again I don't let up until I've sucked him dry and he's left drained and quietly whimpering my name.

Once he's capable he stands, taking me into his arms and slowly kissing me, it's tender and beautiful.
Slowly he pulls my pyjamas off until we're both naked.
I realise I don't feel self conscious as he eyes me up and down.
"Ya beautiful Chels"
I bite my lip because what I want to say is that I'm not, I've got a flabby tummy a wonky C-section scar. In fact the only part of me that looks ok are my tits, but only because they're full of milk and thanks to Jack giving her a bottle at bedtime it's definitely a look but don't touch situation.
But I don't feel uncomfortable under his gaze.
"I mean it" his hands grip my hips as we kiss again. It's everything I need right now, it's soothing.
"I love ya Chels, everythin' will be ok, you're comin' back to me?" His forehead is pressed to mine, a hand on my cheek.

"I need this so much....."

"Wot? This?" He pulls me closer to him, kisses deeper.

I moan an agreement into his mouth.

"Turn around"

He positions himself behind me, over the vanity unit facing the mirror.

"Watch yaself, I wan' ya to see wot I see....."

I watch our reflections as he enters me.
As his arms wrap around me.
As he moves my hair and kisses my exposed neck.
As he caresses my tummy.
As he gently ghosts his hand across my breasts.
As he whispers in my ear how much he loves me.
As his face softens and his lips fall open.
I watch as my head falls against his.
I watch as my body starts to rock with him.
I watch his face light up as I moan his name.
My eyes close and he supports me as I come.
When I open them I see his face contorted, watching me as he lets go himself.
I watch as our eyes meet again and our post climax faces relax into smiles.