Like Real People Do [🗸]

22. more

"I want more," I say.

Elliot and I are in the book shop we'd visited on the day we explored Cambridge, the day Elliot kissed me for the first time. We're tucked into a back corner of a shop, fitted into a small cushion together.

Elliot flips through the pages of the book he's reading, eyes darting up to me once he's arrived at the next page. "More what?"

"I don't know," I say, running my hands through my hair. My hair's threatening to reach my shoulders. Mom would sigh at the sight of me. "Do they not have barbers at college?" I have a love-hate relationship with the hair myself.

If it's long enough I can pack it back, but often times I don't, and when that happens, I can feel the strands of hair touching my shoulders and it's impossible to ignore, somewhat irritating for no reason.

"Well," I slap the book I'm reading closed. It's about two boys who discover the secrets of the universe. "I saw you dancing that day and I've seen, you know, over these past few months just how much it means to you. And I thought, damn, I wish I was as passionate about something that I loved. 

"But then I realized, you know, that drawing - that's what it is for me. Then I also thought, like, you're amazing. And you're the reason why I'm drawn to the Performance Hall almost every day.  Your passion is, like, contagious. But also, you draw me in. And I love that. And that day when you were throwing up and told me that Siobhan thought that I was your boyfriend, which was why she brought me in, I sort of only then realized how much I wouldn't mind that being true."

"I was kind of an asshole for that comment," Elliot says. His grin is faint. "I didn't need to say that."

"But you were just being honest," I say. "And I didn't know if it was something you wanted. I know it's something I want, but then I think about how preparation for midterms just wrapped me all up in Comp-Sci and I barely had time for you. And I'm thinking, you know, that'd probably make me a shitty boyfriend."

Elliot's gaze is steady, then the corner of his lips quirk upward and he pulls me close. "Between you and me, you're the best boyfriend I've ever had, despite the fact that you're not actually my official boyfriend."

"I'm not that great," my tone is not filled with self-pity, it's rather matter of fact. "I mean, I'm alright. Best is a nice compliment, though."

"Are you kidding me?" Elliot asks. "I mean, you act like you're average in everything, but you're probably the best communicator I've ever been with."

"How?" One of my eyebrows quirk upward. 

"Well, for starters," Elliot says. "You told me how busy you were with Comp-Sci. You didn't just fall off. And then, with my whole vomiting issue, you talked me through it, instead of getting pissed. It's not like I was all that easy to talk to then, either."

"I don't know," My grin is lazy. "You're the one that's good at being vulnerable."

"When you talked to me about your insomnia, you were being vulnerable. You even talked to me about when you started taking the sleeping pills, when you stopped. I mean, if that's not vulnerability, I don't know what is." He cocks his head. "How is that, anyway?"