The Own Goal ✔️

Part 83

"Shhhh Chels, c'mere bab, don' cry"
Crying? I didn't even realise that I was, fuck sake, I'm useless at the moment.
He looks back to check on Mia who is squealing away in delight then gently ushers me back inside.

He holds me, just holds me while I sob for no real reason.
Unable to tell him why exactly I'm crying, but gratefully he doesn't ask.
He knows, he knows it's a lot.
A newborn that doesn't feed well, doesn't sleep well.
After the scare of Mia's birth we had an elective C-section this time, and it was wonderful.
Both of us missed out last time, me being put under general anesthesic and Jack not allowed in.
This time I was awake and able to feel them root around and pull out our second born.
Jack had soon left my side however, letting go of my hand and standing behind the surgeons, amazed at the sight of our second daughter Esme being pulled from the cut in my stomach.
He even cut her umbilical cord.
The birth was amazing and I was home within 36 hours.
But then my cut got infected and I ended up on strong antibiotics, the infection rendering me almost bed bound for the entirety of Jack's paternity week (which just meant minimal training with a later start time)
With Mia, I had the luxury of no time restraints.
I'd been at the Grealish house with Karen looking after us while Jack was out training or playing.
Even though we wheren't together in the immediate aftermath of Mia's birth, he was with me all the time he could be.
Which while playing for a club in no competitions other than the premier league turned out to be a lot more time than he has now.
Now, he's up at 6am and out by 7.
Home anytime between 2 and 6, so somedays out for twelve hours if he's had media work to do.
Then the games, two most weeks.
Away games in Europe taking him away for days at a time.
Mia has preschool so my days are punctuated with school runs that invariably conflict with nap times, resulting in an overtired colicky baby most nights. Normally the crying starts right on queue of Jack walking through the door.

I see him sometimes, pulling up, getting out of his car, looking up at the house with a sigh.
Not exactly a delight to come home to is it?
A stressed girlfriend who somedays hasn't even showered, let alone bothered to put make up on. Who regularly bursts into tears handing the baby to him immediately, a baby who is constantly crying and screaming, and then Mia, desperate for daddy's attention.

But what does he do? He smiles, takes Esme, tucking her into his chest and he sits at the table with Mia while she excitedly tells him every single detail of her day.
Then when Esme's screams get too loud he stands rocking her, still giving Mia the attention she craves.
And then, when Mia is happy and Esme is peaceful again he finds me, wherever I may be hiding, seeking a moment of silence and he asks me about my day, did I go to the shop? Was it a health visitor day? Was there baby group?
What can he do to help with dinner?

Sometimes I don't even remember to ask him how his day has been.

It's no wonder he hasn't proposed.

He doesn't know I heard him one night a few weeks before Esme was born.
Ben had stayed over after his last game before winter break which had been against Manchester United.
I had a hot flush and opened the door to our bedroom balcony,
I'd heard their dulcit tones on the patio below.
Jack had told Ben about a ring that was being made for me, that he'd worked with designers on.
"So this is an actual engagement ring then bro?" Ben had clarified.

"Yep........" I'd heard the smile in his voice.

"So when you going to do it?"

"After the babies born, but not immediately like, but yeah, soon very soon, I can't fucking wait bro"

"Nah I'm pleased for you both, bout time really"

"Yeah innit, I dunno why I ain't already asked her y'know seems daft, past year y'know, since we got sorted after seein' the therapist an' that, it's jus' been amazin"

"I'm a bit surprised Dele beat ya actually, proposing to Jasmin at Christmas.......I mean as if he's leaving Tottenham and is going to Everton to be nearer her, mate, no one saw that coming!"

"Yeah, Sian an' Chris all loved up in the country.........you an Layla gettin' married in the summer, I'm a bit of a shit I guess for not making it official with Chels sooner"

I'd not been able to stop grinning.

But then nothing.
Esme had arrived and he hasn't proposed.

Layla and Ben who had their baby boy Alfie back in November have a big summer wedding planned.
Jasmin and Dele were talking about a Christmas wedding and Sian and Chris were expecting their first child while renovating the big country house they'd bought and hoped to turn into a bed and breakfast.

Embarrassingly, I'd even looked for this ring, but no luck.
I'd actually started to think the whole conversation I'd overheard was just an incredibly vivid pregnancy dream.

He probably wasn't going to ask now anyway.
He was probably trying to work out how to back out of the relationship.
I mean he's got two semi finals coming up and I keep forgetting to even ask how his day has been.