Eternal

Eternal - Chapter 11

The second round of chemo goes a little better than the first one, which is to be expected.

The doctors say something about Laurent's body having gotten used to the treatment but it's hard to be enthusiastic when Laurent's body weight continues to drop at an alarming rate.

He's starting to look like a cancer patient with the bald head and the gaunt face and no matter how many layers of clothes he wears, it's easy to spot how skinny he has become. So much so, that people start shooting him looks when they're out and about. It would be a nuisance if they were just regular people, but the absolute worst part is when they're recognized by fans because they have a comparison. They know what Laurent used to look like before all of this started and they'll fawn over him and give him that pitiful, half-scared look that never fails to piss Larry off because non of it helps and he just wants them all gone.

Larry is more protective than ever before. 

His brother is frail, not just physically but emotionally and somehow that's enough to send every single one of his protective instincts into hyper mode. He always walks a few feet ahead of Laurent when they're out, just in case anyone thinks they can snap a picture of his twin for their amusement. He shoots dirty looks at people when they stare at Laurent and he snaps at anyone stupid enough to comment on it, even children.

It's the first time in his life that he doesn't enjoy being in the presence of children because they don't have a filter and they will ask Laurent stupid questions like why don't you have hair and why do you look so tired? Where are those bruises from? How come you are so skinny?

Laurent, of course, can't help himself. He still picks the babies and toddlers up, despite his weakness, despite the way his arms tremble from the strain of their weight. He still plays with them and blows raspberry kisses against their cheeks, giving so much love and warmth even though their shrill voices are bad for his headaches, and the attention they demand saps at his last energy reserves. Larry hovers like an overprotective mama bear, ready to lift them out of his brother's hold and send them on their merry way.

And then one day the unthinkable happens. Laurent, being the children's magnet that he is, starts talking to a little girl at the corner store when one of his episodes hits him out of nowhere. It's a bad one. His nose starts bleeding and it coats his hands and chin, dripping onto his shirt. Larry tries to help him clean it, but Laurent is adamant to do it himself, swatting at his hands because he doesn't want to come off any weaker than he already is. Larry is worried, Laurent is swaying as he presses a bunched-up ball of tissues to his nose and the girl clings to her mama's leg. "Is he dying, mommy?"

For a second, Larry's mind goes blank right there.

His vision clouds over.

White noise.

He doesn't remember much after that, only Laurent's panicked voice as it calls out his name, trying to break through to him.

And then nothing.

That night, Larry locks himself in the bathroom and starts crying. He showers until the water turns cold and even then, he's still crying and it's like he suddenly can't stop. Like if only he keeps going long enough, maybe he'll drown in his tears and maybe this whole nightmare will finally come to an end. When he gets out, Laurent is sitting on the bed, waiting for him.

Larry's shaking all over and he can't get himself to move he knows Laurent heard him crying, he knows that his eyes probably look like he poured lemon juice into them, all bloodshot and swollen. And yet he still can't bring himself to say anything. Because he knows one word will be enough to send him over the edge again and he doesn't want Laurent to have to deal with that on top of everything else.