TABOO (slow updates)

E I G H T

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! He saw me, Oh My God, he saw me, stupid, stupid, stupid!" I gently bang my head on the wall, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I quickly peek through the window again but Masud was still looking up and his eyes catch mine, he smirks and it annoys me, I grind my teeth; I knew what he was doing and I wasn't going to let him win. I wasn't going to hide from a stupid boy just because I was caught staring at him. He wanted to make me feel ashamed and frail so I move back towards his line of sight and challengingly raise my eyebrow at him. His smirk falters but he quickly restores it. I point towards the oak tree, daring him, fear painting his features and it made me satisfied, he was still the scared little boy I met a few days back. He wasn't so confident as he was posing. Knowing he didn't have the balls for the challenge, I move away from the window and walk towards my notebook but halt when I hear something creak. I rush towards the window and there he was, launching himself up on it and moving towards me with the same daring stare I gave to him, it makes me grind my teeth harder.

"Stop," I whisper but he doesn't, his smirk growing. I don't know what we were both trying to prove but he had won, this was going to get us in trouble if he took any more steps. I frantically survey the ground beneath him and look back towards him.

"Go away!" I whisper harder but he was now at my window. He sits on the oak branch and lets his feet dangle beneath him.

"Are you not scared of getting caught?"

"I was too prideful to let you win in that little assertion of dominance challenge you instigated," I roll my eyes at him which makes his smile grow, "Well you've won now go away, you'll get in trouble," he nods but doesn't move away, staring at me intently.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier," I nod as I survey the ground again. The guards are going to come very soon.

"I got carried away, I'd be delighted to have a girl like you on my team," so that he uses me. I was all but a naïve general's daughter to him but I save the argument because I was genuinely scared about him getting caught.

"Okay just go away," he doesn't, instead he scoots closer.

"Sit with me Emilia," he pats at the spot next to him on the oak tree.

"What are you doing? Why are you trying to be my friend just go I forgive you," you know why he wants to be your friend, why he is suddenly all nice, because he needs you to complete their 'operation.'

"The guards aren't coming until like 7:00pm, its 6:35pm, we have all the time in the world," he pats the empty spot again.

"I wouldn't call 25 minutes all the time in the world," I roll my eyes at him and watch as he pats the spot again.

"Agh fine! You won't leave either ways," so I haul myself on the window sill and move towards the oak tree branch that laid perfectly beneath my window, like it wanted me to escape. I sit next to him and look up towards the stars with him. A silence envelopes us and in that brief time we stared at the stars, I felt less lonely. That is of course until Masud opened his big mouth again.

"I'm sorry again," I stare at him and nod.

"Sorry for also staring at your back creepily," he chuckles and shakes his head, "its okay, its a good looking back, anyone would stare at it," I roll my eyes at him for the umpteenth time and bite back a smile.

"I was genuinely just thinking about something and then my eyes just you know lingered there in thoughts," I mean it was kind of true.

"What were you thinking about?" I look back at him, the crescent moon reflecting in his blue orb, a reflection in a sea that seemed to want to drown me at how intent his stares were. It was beautiful how each one of his orbs stood out at different times, how each one was as captivating as the other. I think I drown too deep in his eyes because he nudges me and I stagger back to reality.

"I don't know, a lot of things, life's just so confusing," my privileged life was so confusing? That sounded selfish to say considering he didn't even have the privileges I had, to wear something different from his stained blue uniform, to roam around freely. He was a prisoner whose little freedom was those little talks he had with Paul in the afternoon. But if he did commit crime than he deserved to be a prisoner and I mustn't sympathise with him.

All he does is nod, doesn't bother to point out the privileges that are handed to me on a silver platter and it made me wonder that maybe he thinks he deserves to live this way too, "its okay to be confused sometimes, life is a rollercoaster on fire," he checks his pocket watch, 6:45.

"You know, I've never felt this much at peace in a long time than sitting here with you, staring at the stars," I smile at him and his confession.

"Same," he smiles back at me and in that small exchange I have myself questioning again if the conclusion was really actually adequate but a tiny rational voice in the back of my head kept screaming: Manipulator, he is manipulating you into befriending him. And it was true because he was never nice to me. He made me pee myself and humiliate myself in front of him and he called me weak, he has been nothing but mean to me since we've started acquainting. All this nice talk was just part of his operation to use the defenceless dumb girl.

So I look back at him as he stares at the stars, if he was going to manipulate me, I was going to do the same to him. I was going to gain his trust, know their operation and crush him after, I was going to make him feel the same way he made me feel, weak and useless.