Elegance with Expense

74. Exposure?

He held me tight, I felt like my life was slipping away right there. Everything hurt, my head, my arms, not to mention my stomach, which was still aching relentlessly. I cried in Romeo's arms, thinking disorderly about the hectic few weeks I had experienced.

Now my friend died, the blood was not only on my family's hands, but more so on mine, I was the last person he saw, and he stared at me with such sad hatred.

I couldn't stop him, he was locked away for goodness sake. Now, as far as I'm aware, he was innocent.

He had done nothing at all wrong, he was simply the product of a man, badly involved with a group of bad people. Just like I was.

Was it true though? Were my family bad people? They cared for those they knew, but wouldn't look twice at those who were stranger to them. They take what is theirs, and people get hurt in the process, it isn't fair, of course it isn't, but it's the lives they have involved themselves with.

I have always been familiar with it, fascinated even, I have observed from afar, writing down information in a covert way. But, never would I have imagined myself to be naturally involved with the most dangerous mafia known to myself. Watching from a distance is shockingly different to being front and centre, directly in the middle of it.

Trading to my left, threats to my right, drugs sitting behind me, and torture in the front. There's no escape when being born into such manic.

'Do you want some water sorellina? Talk to me, what's happened?' He was gentle with his words, I didn't want such consideration, I needed him to be firm and harsh. I couldn't have such opposing emotions thrown at me in the short space of time.

He led me towards my bed, and sat down, sitting me close by next to him, so that I could be supported by the left side of his body.

He was rubbing my arm up and down with his left hand, and got his phone out with his right. He was on the phone with somebody for less than thirty seconds, speaking in such a hushed voice, even when I tried to quieten down my sobs, I couldn't hear what he said, or who he was speaking to.

I wasn't left contemplating for long, because Armani rushed inside so quickly, if it was anyone else, I would have assumed they got head rush. Not Armani though, his priorities were too straight to even let something so minor affect him.

It wasn't a funny kind of rush, where he startled himself. It was a stride, powered with determination, speed and concern. The door opened quite quickly, but he closed it after himself in more of a subtle way, I wanted to curl up and die right there.

Now they needed to know what happened, and would not leave my side until they found the cause for my sudden reaction. I admit, they have never seen me cry in such a way, I was shaking like I was in the midst of a seizure, my breathing wouldn't calm, and my throat was scratched raw.

'Buon Dio, che cosa è successo?' My brother exclaimed with a whisper, approaching me slowly with a glass of water in his hand that I was yet to notice. He put the water on the nearby table, and crouched in front of my, taking my hands in his. (Dear God, what happened)

Even crouching whilst I was on the bed, he still managed to maintain eye contact, being directly in front of me. I didn't want to look at him, I probably looked disgusting, but he didn't seem to bat even an eyelid at my appearance. He was empathetic, he looked like he was feeling what I was feeling. As if he was experiencing the same kind of pain, yet his was metaphorical, his eyes filled with concern more than anything, but the way his eyebrows were creased, I could tell he was associating himself with me.

Considering how strong I have been in front of them, I wouldn't be surprised if they thought of the worst. It's no doubt that there would be scenarios running through their head, their minds would not be blank right now.

Romeo's grip instinctively tightened around me when the door opened again, causing a loud, disruptive noise. It was Gio trying to find me, he looked determined to find something, or someone. His face turned from one of confusion, into one of realization, as if he knew what was happening.

'I need to speak to Alessa.' He said, taking two steps forward, so he was about a meter behind where Armani was crouched. The latter turned his head to face Gio, shaking his head slightly.

'Now is not a good time.' Romeo said, picking up the glass of water on the table.

'No, you don't understand. I need to speak with her now, trust me, it'll calm her down, give her some context.' I saw Armani exchange looks with the brother beside me, it was clear that they were unsure, that was until Gio added something to his sentence. 'Your father sent me.'

'Where is he now?'

'Outside, smoking with grandad.' He spoke. 'But I need to speak with Alessa alone first; can you go downstairs and ask your dad to come upstairs in about five minutes?'

'Tell us what this is about first.' Romeo demanded.

'No, I can't.'

'Do you know why she's like this?' Armani asked in a calmer manner, after giving a look to his younger brother.

'I have a pretty good idea, that's why I need to speak to her alone.' He said, making me put my head in both my hands, letting Romeo's arm slip off me in the process. I sighed a heavy sigh as I began to let a few more tears fall silently.

'You have three minutes, then we will send him up. But I expect you all downstairs very soon, we need to talk this out.' My favourite brother spoke with authority, standing up, bringing my head forward, planting a kiss on my forehead. My hands were still covering my face with dread.

'This is your fault, you killed me Alessa.'

'This is your fault, you killed me Alessa.'

'This is your fault, you killed me Alessa.'

Those eight words wouldn't leave my mind, I couldn't grasp onto reality, and with Gio standing there so calmly, I hated him for feeling like that. I wanted everyone to feel the pain I felt, especially my family. The family I was promised so much from, but nothing they gave me was anything I truly wanted. My friends have got injured, now ones been killed, I can't trust anyone, not even my own brothers girlfriend, who turned out to be working for my best friends father- Mordecai. My school principle works under this man, and even his son is out to get me. 

Ludis Belov, Mordecai's right hand man, the man who treacherously abused me, locked away under the very house I am in. 

Liams father, Ludis Belov, Juliet and Andrews father, were all downstairs, tied up, chained up, their faces beat beyond recognition. Is this what Vince meant earlier, when he was driving the car, saying he knew where Juliet was. I don't understand, how all this could happen, I was overwhelmed, even thinking about it. 

'Alessa, he wasn't innocent.' Gio cautiously spoke, he was quiet in his words, but they were powerful enough for me to hear. I looked up from my knees, making direct eye contact with him. 'He was not innocent, his father got the job in our house, and Andrew began looking after the grounds several years later. Andrew was the one who told his father your secrets. Juliet told him. The word got back to Liam, who told his father, who used everything against you.'

My tears stopped flowing at that moment, and every emotion in me suddenly turned to rage. After everything, Juliet was the one. She put the family in danger, and trusted a dirty opposing group. 

I hated Juliet, I hated her so much. I told her everything. She listened to me. She sympathised with me, she understood. Everything in my life is bullshit, all my relations, and all my trust. 

I know where she is now. 

in the most vulnerable place, just like I was when I told her it all.

Guilt disappeared, I wanted to kill her. 

It's been nearly a year, and I want to apologise for my absence. Life's stresses have taken over, and it is nearly exam season. I randomly had a urge to finish and post this chapter, to remind you all that I am not MIA. Please read the last few chapters to refresh your memory, and let me know what you'd like to see in the future. Stay safe <3