The Punk and the Non-Profit Prostitute

C8: To Know A Shopping Trolley

"I'm really sorry about this" I huffed as I yanked the trolley out of the lineup and swung it in front of me.

Noel walked alongside me as we entered Sainsbury's with the shopping cart chugging along the tiles.

"I told Rich to get groceries yesterday. Of course he didn't, lord knows where he actually went. So it is my unpleasant chore to attain them today. You didn't have to come, really. I'm sure you have more important things to do in London than make sure I buy carrots"

"Julian, it's fine. I told you I wanted to spend the day with you. I don't care what we're doing, I honestly don't mind. I haven't been to a supermarket since I was a kid, it's very nostalgic if anything" Noel shrugged off my concerns and clamped a hand onto the side of the trolley as if not wanting to get lost.

"Okay, okay but we'll still do something fun afterwards like go out for lunch" I reassured, doubts still crawling up my throat.

"Chill out! This will be fun. If it was a Tesco I would've drawn the line but it's not so let's get down to it" He jested and stared at me with full moons for eyes.

"I just feel so inferior taking a punk star to my local grocery store. For someone who sleeps around and used to do drugs, I'm sure you're just trying to be polite by saying helping me out will be fun. I feel pathetic especially on our first day of really being friends and-"

Noel cut me off by stopping the trolley and grabbing onto both of my shoulders. I hesitantly looked into his harsh eyes that brought over a wave of calmness into mine.

"You are not inferior than me. You are perfect and you really need to start believing that"

As Noel was about to continue with his lecture we heard a high-pitched squeal from behind us. When I turned around I expected to see Rich but it was a group of young girls, the equivalent to my roommate.

Noel grinned when he realised one of them was wearing his band tee as they slowly approached him. They were real giggly school girls, with black band shirts, tartan skirts and long blond hair. The leader of the group was blushing profusely which protruded her dimples.

"S-S-s-Spider?" She stuttered and her friends hid into her shoulders from embarrassment.

"That would be me" Noel smiled back at them and I swore they were about to faint.

"Could we get a picture and an autograph?" She asked, trying her hardest not to cry.

"Of course, of course" Noel agreed and walked closer to them.

One of the girls passed me her camera and I raised my eyebrows. They just assumed I was kind enough to take the photo for them?! They were right despite my frustration.

I sighed and lifted the camera. I took a couple of snapshots of the group. The girls hung off Noel like he was the last apple on Earth and they looked at him like he was too. After the photos were taken and the autographs given the girls all kissed his cheek and ran off squealing with excitement.

Noel ran a hand through his hair staring after them and placing a hand on his hip. He turned to me with a slight blush and he shook his head, taking hold of the trolley again.

"You twat, of course I'm inferior" I grumbled and pushed hard on the trolley and made my way down the first aisle.

Noel kept close and rolled his eyes at my dispute.

"Well not to me anyway" He mumbled as I started collecting items from the shelves.

I ignored his comment and disregarded it as fault automatically. We carried on shopping and ran into a couple more fans of 'The Mighty Boosh' which kept Noel more entertained than I ever could.

We were drawing to a close when we stumbled upon the drinks aisle. I promised Rich to buy some orange juice because he'd been craving it all week. Noel lagged behind to look at something as I picked up two heavy jugs of the juice and placed them in the trolley.

"Julian!"

I turned around and before I could comprehend it I was being splashed with some form of liquid. It squirted right in my face and I was forced to keep my eyes shut as I was being drenched from head to toe. The taste of juice dripped from the tips of my eyelashes and down into my mouth. The squirting stopped and I licked my lips. I could hear Noel cackling the background like maniac and I wiped my eyes so I could finally open them and take in what just happened.

My eyes were greeted with Noel who was wiping the tears from his eyes whilst holding a now empty bottle of Oj. I looked down at my attire which was absolutely saturated in the sticky liquid. I glared at him which made him laugh even more.

"It was orange juice you wanted, right?" He smirked and chucked the empty bottle in the trolley.

Without response I grabbed the nearest squirt bottle which happened to contain apple juice and started spraying him. He screeched and started running away. I had to have my revenge so I abandoned the trolley and chased him through the aisles of the shop. We flew by customers and I was dripping as I absconded after him.

We ended back up in the drinks aisle and I backed him into the corner.

"Julian! Please!" He begged, "This is humiliating, I'm a punk god. You can't do this to me"

I ignored his plea and tipped the remnants of the bottle over his styled hair. He gasped at my actions but ended up bursting into laughter and I joined in. He leant into my chest and I stroked his now matted and messy hair.

"What are friends for?" I smugly stated.

Our sticky and drenched selves returned to the trolley and decided to check out. Least to say the check-out chicks weren't impressed.