all my questionable decisions

i. after every storm there is sunshine

"I can hear you thinking but don't know what about," suddenly there was Porsché's voice filling the almost awkward silence. Porsche looked at him and grinned almost forcibly. Porsché scoffed and sat up, looking his older brother up and down. "What is it? Have we been found?"

Porsche felt his throat tighten. He did not this about this - what if the Theerapanyakun family knew where they were?

"No, shoot, Porsche no," Porsché kneeled next to his brother and grabbed his hand into his. "No one knows where we are. I was not followed, and neither were you. We are fine," Porsché gripped tightly his older brother's hand. He was looking at how fast emotions in Porsche's eyes. He was scared and then anxious, then he was relieved and again terrified. "Listen, we will be fine,"

Porsche was breathing quicker than normal, Porsché's words were like from underwater, and he heard them not clearly. Everything started to slowly fade around him as he grew weaker and weaker with each passing minute. Porsché started to grow more concerned, if his brother did not calm down, they would need to call for help. And now they could not allow anyone to know where precisely they were.

"What do you think your kids will look like?"

"Huh?" Porsche looked up, his eyes unfocused and then focused again. He blinked and licked his lips. "I guess they will have... dark hair? Both of us have them,"

Porsché nodded, rubbing Porsche's hand.

"Their eyes will be most definitely dark, kinda hoping for some light brown," Porsche let his imagination run wild.

He could see three boys running around after a ball, their laughter filling the air. They were happily competing with each other trying to be the first to get the ball. Porsche could hear their laughter, trying to not laugh out loud seeing their determination and focus. It looked beautiful in his mind. He sighed and opened his eyes. Porsché was looking at him with sad eyes but the corners of his mouth were raised. Both brothers were looking at each other. Porsché broke the staring and sat down on the couch, returning to his previous position. Porsche was absently playing with a small tread on the pillow.

"What do you think about going somewhere tomorrow? We could at least check the area better for the future," Porsché suggested, lightly brushing his stomach.

Porsche was reluctant to agree, he was becoming paranoic. He saw a threat everywhere, there was always danger or the possibility of being hurt. But looking at his nong's face full of hope, he just nodded and agreed to it. There was something rational in knowing the area around the house, they would know how to escape or where to hide if something were to happen.

"But not for long, I grow more and more tired each day. Those buns are draining me," Porsche said, looking at his stomach.

His bond with his children was something new. In the beginning, he wanted to get rid of the child Kinn left him. The same day he found Porsche was the day when the checkup before the abortion process was supposed to happen. Kinn's intervention stopped it; although Porsche did have a checkup. After that, when he was alone in Kinn's penthouse for so long he started to talk to the growing stomach. They were his only listeners then. After learning that one was actually three, Porsche knew there was no way he could ever bring them harm. It was bad enough that their father was one of the most wanted men in Thailand, if not Asia. And Porsche swore he would do anything in his power to get them a happy life, away from the Theerapanyakun family.

"I do hope, you three will forgive me and your father for what has happened," Porsche whispered, not noticing his brother observing him.

four years later