Hannigram -- Cuts Unscene

S1 E11: Rȏti

Companion Song: "The Day the World Went Away" – Nine Inch Nails

"I'd listen to the words he'd say

But in his voice I heard decay

The plastic face forced to portray

All the insides left cold and gray

There is a place that still remains

It eats the fear it eats the pain

The sweetest price he'll have to pay

The day the whole world went away"

S1 E11: Rȏti

This "cut unscene" occurs after Abel Gideon escapes and Jack calls in his task force for a meeting. Will has a vision of himself being surrounded by antlers, and Jack's instructions to the agents begin to sound like an accusation that Will is a killer. He comes out of it very disturbed at his hallucinations, and goes to see Hannibal.

"What did you see?"

Will's mind crowded with images of the forest of antlers, of Jack's accusatory eyes. "A thicket of antlers," he said, body heavy in his chair, exhausted from the day's panic. Even Hannibal's gaze felt like an added weight as he studied Will from the seat opposite. "All I heard was my heart. Dim, but... but fast, like, um... footsteps fleeing into silence."

Hannibal did not speak. The only sound in the office was that of the fire that crackled in the hearth.

"I don't know how to gauge who I am anymore," Will confessed, his palms sweaty where he gripped the arms of his chair. Despair clutched at the back of his throat. "I don't feel like myself. I feel like I have been gradually becoming different for a while." He shook his head, unable to meet Hannibal's direct, studious expression, choosing instead to look at the floor. "I just feel like somebody else."

"What do you feel like?"

The words built up inside of him. He didn't want to speak them aloud, as if giving them his would make them manifest, some kind of a spoken curse. "I feel crazy," he blurted as they forced their way out of his mouth.

"And that is what you fear most."

"I fear not knowing who I am." Tears welled up in Will's eyes, making his vision watercolor. Despair burned through his chest, rotting into his core. "That's what Abel Gideon's afraid of, isn't it?" Somehow, even though Gideon was a monster, it was comforting, Will thought, to know someone else felt the same way. "He's like a blind man. Somebody got inside his head and... moved all the furniture around."

"I imagine Abel Gideon would want to find the Chesapeake Ripper to gauge who he is. And who he isn't."

That makes two of us, Will thought, mind melting into a thousand possible scenarios, all dripping with blood.

"Will." Hannibal's voice was gentle but firm, reassuring. "You have me as your gauge."

Will took a breath, feeling the tension in his chest loosen in increments. He nodded. Hannibal cocked his head slightly, studying him. "Do you trust me to tell you who you are?"

"Yes."

"And how does that trust make you feel?"

"I want it to make me feel safe," Will said softly, leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees. "But it doesn't. It's like I-I know logically that you're right. But part of me won't accept it. Is holding back."