My last wish

Chapter - 8 ( The first time we meet)

Savannah's P. O. V

I walked around the class, they did not wait for me again . Being alone make me feel like everyone is watching me, and every whisper and laugh feel as if it was directed at me. They are making fun of me, laughing at me.

, " Savannah there you are! " hearing the shout of Lily I turn around , really? Are you sure that you didn't left ? But, I say nothing for I feared to be alone if they leave me.

The unsettling feeling never seem to leave me alone , keeping mum I didn't even bother to try to interfere as I didn't even get a gist of the conversation , I walk with them a little absent minded not looking at the way.

I was shocked awakened when
I just straight up bump into a person, I hit my nose on their chest. I feel tears involuntarily filling my eyes as it hurt so bad," I'm sorry are you okay? " I looked up hearing the youthful voice.

I nodded and proceeds to walk away as I was the one at fault, I didn't even see his face as I'm still in deep thoughts, I found Jacqueline looking at me distastefully as she whisper to Lily which make her laugh.

I fiddle with my hand, looking away trying my best to keep the smile on my face. Which start to become increasingly hard.

I thought that I'm already used to it, but it still hard so bad. I feel like a gum who is sticking to them stubbornly, but I didn't want to be alone. Being alone is worse than this.

I console myself , but I want nothing more than to go away from them. Adjusting my speed to match theirs,
I hoped that the bell will ring quickly and the break will be over .

The sound of the ringing bell feel like my savior , it was like hell. It's extremely tiring to fit in, trying my best to not be an outcast.

I sit on my seat quietly, getting the books out for the next class. It felt stuffy, my throat feel like something is stuck there. I clear my throat , swallowed hard to clear the lump on my throat.

Smiling as bright as ever, they always question why I'm always happy but didn't bother to pierced that thin piece of paper. And try to see me as I am, truly as I was . No one notice that when I smile my eyes didn't turn crescent, all they see is what I show them , just a slight nudge this facades will be broken. But, no one ever did.

So, I just keep on putting up this act. No matter how much it hurt or even if everything is falling apart I'll smile bright as ever. It's tiring to smile when you're not happy. Only my pillow know how much tears I had shed, only I'm aware of the sobs that I had suppressed.

Why do you pretend to be someone you're not? Cause I'm scared to be left alone if I show them what I am ,me who is broken, bruised and tattered.The one who also feel insecure, the one who is afraid to lose too .

No matter how much setback or failure I met, I try to meet them head on with smile . And overtime it had become a habit, and now I'm too scared to put down this mask cause I've built my world around it.

It's not that I'm always happy, I just try to be happy. But, it's increasingly harder to keep trying.

I didn't registered any of the teacher's words, when the lunch break arrived I didn't bother going . I don't want to stay when this break will be extremely long, I didn't want to feel left out, I don't know if it's intentional or not. But, they never wait for me, never hold my hand as I go, never answer to my question when I try to converse with them. So, I'll just stay in the classroom for now.

I stand next to the window , " What's so interesting that make you looked that intrigued? " I jump a little startled hearing the voice.

I turn towards the him, he looked fairly handsome. Okay! I must admit he is handsome, but I never see him here before.

Seeing my confused stare, he smile a little embarrassedly scratching his neck, " You bump into me this morning, "

I widen my eyes in realization, but quickly return to normal, " Nothing in particular. " I looked out again, thinking he would go away.

Unexpectedly he sit on the chair opposite to me, I raised an eyebrow at him, not saying anything," I'm Ace, what about you? " after he settled in he ask, he turn and smile at me showing off his white pearly teeth.

I never knew this was the start of my doom, I start to enjoy spending time with him. I looked forward to our little lunch session, I grew attached to him and slowly that attachment turn unknowingly into love .

After meeting him my life slowly take turn for the better , but is it just my imagination? I don't know, but he was like my lucky star.

If only I told him to go away firmly at that time, had I not been yearning for a company so much this would not have happened .

I will forever regret being in the classroom alone, I will never forgive myself for being the first one to love.

End of flashback
*********

I lie motionless on the bed, life feel extremely monotone and weird, I can't help but think that what will life be like without him. What would I have become? I was never truly confident in myself, it was only an act but being with him I slowly find myself. My smile no longer become force, I know that I could cry and he will be there. Will be there to share the laughter, with him I feel like I can be me.

Maybe this is why it's so hard to let go, cause he had built me. He had become such an important part of me that without him I'm nothing, I will always be incomplete without him .

Author's note

Hope you enjoyed, there will be falshback every now and then too from now on.

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Date : 18 . May. 22
Time : 6 : 15 P.M