By Sin We Fall

Chapter Fifteen

Amo

History repeats itself time and time again. The only question remaining was if we'd actually learn this time. Same circumstances, different time. The mistakes of yesterday sweeping out to the shallows of the past, long enough to pretend this was a good idea. It was bound to fall apart, ending in a fiery disaster, staining us with the hatred for generations to come. Common sense, it seemed, was forgotten in the expectation of a fairy tale couple. A shiny distraction to mask the stupidity in all of this. Angelica Longentio. Blonde, smart and an aspiring equestrian athlete that somehow we both knew would never happen. I'd met many versions of her throughout my life, the women who spoke softly, were well respected and privately educated. I was expected to compliment their presence and they were expected to smile and act blustered, pretending like this wasn't a game setup by the time of birth. Pawns to be played for the bigger picture. I was very much aware that I was playing into it, agreeing to the absurdity of marrying someone based on their relations rather than the relationship between us. It was part of the job and my job was inseparable from my life. One part of work was to be composed at functions, to stand tall in tight suits and nod to monolog comments. The other part was where all formality flew out the window, the only rules you were living by were the ones sworn in blood. The honor that dictated our existence. Bloodbaths and treachery were common sense in the lens of surviving. In any free time I had, throwing myself off a dirt hill was becoming more and more appealing. The thrill of near death of my own doing was a high I could never replicate. Every victory making me feel undefeatable, every injury bringing me humbly back to earth. Everything was forgotten in that space. The things of tomorrow were inconsequential when I didn't know if I would even make it to tomorrow. I looked back down at the shiny report card they sent of Angelica, glorifying all her attributes to a state of unearthly-ness. Ascending to her name as an angel. I wondered silently if they received a short essay of myself, including the many shining attributes of alcoholic tendencies, almost high school dropout and countless stupid injuries. At the end of the day it was just my title that was the shiny star on the paper, all else didn't matter. The most important part was that she was of this world and knew what was expected of her. I would meet her at the end of the week and if everything didn't blow up I would be married by the end of summer. Now the blasé attitude came crashing down as reality caught up. I was getting married. To a woman in the Outfit.

Twenty four hours ago

Monday nights were reserved for reuniting the family at the Hamptons house, like I didn't see enough of them already. I walked through the front door already hearing the loud arguing voices from the foyer. A little early for the screaming since it couldn't have been past the appetizers, the full on blow up was usually reserved for dessert. My phone alerted me of a new message, the last text of a hundred over the long day. I set my phone on the console table, deciding to ignore it for once. I walked instead towards the dining room that was getting progressively louder the closer I got. Opening the door the scene that greeted me was not far from the usual: Marcella holding a steak knife threatenly in one hand and the other steading herself on the table as she leaned forward. Valerio standing up from the table, pointing at her like he had a gun at hand, Lilliana trying to pacify the situation and Isabella recording the whole thing. "Hello," I said calmly. Everyone looked back at me and that seemed to sober everyone up. "Well look who decided to show up, our favorite bachelor!" Marcella said loudly enough that I knew the half empty bottle of prosecco sitting by her plate was her own doing. She sat back down putting the knife gently back on the napkin and folding her arms, "Now please tell Amo, who's getting this week's rose? The anticipation is killing us! We've all been speculating!" "That's nice of you to turn my life into an entertainment brigade for your own personal boredom but just because some of us are content on making a mockery of this family's name does not mean the rest of us don't have some honor left." "Someones in a mood," she rolled her eyes while pouring more prosecco into her glass. "What happened to you? Swallow some bugs on the way up here?" Matteo quips. "Give him a break, it's hard to be in a good mood when you have so many women throwing themselves at you," Gianna cackled. "No really Amo, how did your date go?" mom asked seriously, cutting off the others. "It was fine." I offered, finding my seat and sitting down. "That's all?" she asked disappointed. "We're expecting details! What did she wear, what did you guys talk about?" Lilliana provided. I couldn't even remember what we talked about. All I could remember from that night was the phone call from Margaret that lasted the night. "What about someone from Las Vegas?" The question was barely audible; the idea was a second lapse in judgment, contemplating something I never dared to enter my mind but now that it was there, seeing how it felt. This seemed like the funniest joke I ever told because everyone started laughing at the table. Mom trying to hide it behind her napkin. That left Dad the only one not laughing, "trust me Amo, you don't want anything the Camorra will offer you, the girl will probably be addicted to drugs and only care about clubbing. You need someone with values, this woman will bring the next Capo to the Famiglia. Take that into consideration, we don't want tarnished blood running through our family. She will also need to be respected by your whole family, remember that." "Not from the Camorra but from Vegas," I now said frustrated that my question was heard. "You can't marry an outsider. Your not that stupid," Dad frowned. "Never underestimate stupidity," Matteo muttered. "If you want to be respected you can't marry an outsider. You'll lose all the respect you've already worked up. The majority still value tradition and that means you value tradition." "It's like herding cats this bunch Amo, trust me," Matteo put in. I gave off a quick prayer that I had the decency state of mind to not buy the apartment next to my family's building. How did they expect me to lead when all they did was shove their own opinions at me twenty four seven? "Are you talking about the ballerina?" Mom asks, lighting up as if she finished the clue. I glared at Valerio. He was loyal to a point of getting out of trouble. He didn't even deny it, smirking at me across the table. "She sounds very beautiful Amo, she just doesn't seem your type." "And how do you know my type?" I asked, getting at the end of my patience with all of this. "Maybe because she was the one who found all your magazines when you were thirteen," Gianna laughs loudly. Jesus. "I think Loretta is a smart choice, Mia talks in glowing terms about her," Lilliana said, finally bringing some seriousness back to the conversation. "I thought her name was Lorena?" Isabella asks. "No, its Loretta," I say seriously. "She's still young but I think as she matures she will become a strong asset to have by your side," mom agrees. "She's well acquainted with everybody, everyone will approve of her." Marcella says, resolutely closing out the conversation, which was fine by me.