✅ My Sister's Problem

49. Adulting

Mum had understood, I think. She'd asked about the condoms again, but I'd been pretty sure that was something Nadine had never told her boyfriend about. The more I said, the more she seemed to understand. And I had suggested that Nadine was determined to prove herself an adult by finding an older guy. Her parents would never be able to stop her; but maybe someone she really liked treating her like his daughter would be easier to accept. Especially if she found that she could enjoy acting her age. Mum could see the wisdom in that, and I'd hoped she would be able to pass it on to Nadine's parents.

Telling Nadine what I'd told Mum took a lot less time than that late-evening conversation. That had been the reason I had stayed up really late, and ended up falling asleep in the lounge the following day. I told myself that if I hadn't tried so hard to keep my friend out of trouble, I wouldn't be in this predicament now. But I hoped that it had been worth it, and that her parents had at least partly understood. And now I was hoping that my friend understood why I had told them so much, as well. I wanted her to understand that she needed them to understand that Jim wasn't some older guy who'd come looking for her; he was the one bringing her down to earth again, and telling her to act her age.

By the time I'd told her everything, and got through a detailed cross examination to find out exactly what they might know, we were past halfway to Ashfields. The sun was climbing towards noon now, and we both had a lot to think about. And there was no real argument, which was a big relief for me. Instead Nadine started pushing herself faster, speeding down the hill as we met the Ribandale Cycleway. We had to keep our eyes on the track ahead to dodge pedestrians, but the speed we could manage there was exhilarating. We felt alive now, and I was sure the adrenaline rush would clear the air between us.

It was coming up to Jim's birthday, and she wanted to get him a present. But it wasn't just because of that; Nadine wanted to prove to him that she was sensible and mature, that she didn't need him to always be taking care of her. And at the same time, she wanted to find something that would show how thoughtful she was. That she really understood his feelings, and she wasn't going over the top like she had when they first met. She wanted to show him that she was glad to have him in her life, and that she understood how their relationship was really going, but at the same time give him a way to know that she was ready for an adult relationship as soon as he wanted that.

I didn't think she was ready. But she was my best friend, and she had to do what felt right to her. And I also felt that if Jim was the gentleman she said, he would know that himself. He joked about her being still a child, but he also made sure that she was safe from her own mistakes. That was why her relationship shouldn't be judged too harshly; because she'd met one person who could make her listen when he said she wasn't ready.

I wondered if I was going to be that crazy in six months. I hoped not; trying to act like an adult and failing would be so humiliating when you looked back on it. Worse even than being treated like a baby. Because right now, when Mum called me a baby and Lindy demanded I acted like one, I knew that it was embarrassing. But if I followed in Nadine's footsteps, I wouldn't even realise the childish things I was still doing. I'd rather be a baby than face that realisation a year or two later.

In any case, we started shopping. Nadine had asked me because I always had thoughtful ideas when it came to gift shopping, and she didn't want to make any mistakes. I was the kind of person who did the research and tried to work out the perfect gift, making a decent guess about how somebody would feel. And this time, I'd looked up a lot of stuff about Jim's known hobbies and interests, trying to form a good image of the guy. It had taken half the night, after my long conversation with Mum was over, but it would be worth it if I could help my friend find something perfect.

"He's so serious," she said, lost in some fantasy. "I mean, he laughs and nothing ever bothers him, but he's got everything under control."

"You really want to make him happy, don't you?" I asked.

"Of course. And I think he's really worth it. Even when he found out I lied, he was thinking about how to fix it. What makes everybody happiest, not just what he wants. And like... when he sees I'm an adult, it's not just about sex. I mean... I want to show him that I'm mature enough to think things through. That's a bigger thing."

"I guess. I'm probably not ready for either yet." But I couldn't help thinking that I'd been making more than my fair share of adult choices lately. Trying to see Lindy's point of view when she resorted to problematic pranks, and wondering how much she was justified in pushing me. Trying to hear both sides of the story from Nadine and Hugo before jumping to conclusions. Supporting my friend, and hoping that she was making the right choice this time. She was so eager to be an adult, but now I'd had a taste of how much work it was, I knew it wasn't something I would rush into.

"Even if it's what your boyfriend wants?"

"I told you, no boyfriend," I answered right away. "I know when you two were together, you meant it just as an excuse to spend time with him. But I really am learning to play basketball. And you know what?" That got a raised eyebrow, and Nadine looked up from the stuff arrayed in front of us. I hadn't meant to say anything, but it came so naturally. Maybe sometimes it was good to trust your instincts. "Now I got to know him better, that guy's head it one hundred percent filled with sports. If he was into video games or comic books like that, you'd call him obsessive. Get him on the court and the rest of the world vanishes. No matter what you were talking about before, once the ball is in his hands you have to assume that's what he's talking about."

"Or he's like every other guy," and the bitterness was back. "He told me I'm not trying. Not good enough for him."

"And you figured he's a school sports hero, must be a jock. Must want sex. And all he's thinking is how you asked him for basketball lessons and didn't get any better in a couple of months. I know it was just a cover for dating, and you know that. But to do that and not actually practise, that's like sacrilege to him. The game is his religion, you know? Once you picked up the ball, you have to do your best or he can't respect you. I would never have believed it, but I've seen how he talks to his friends. On the court it's all game. Nothing else comes into it."

"That's just weird," she said. But she wasn't denying it.

"I know. And he knows too. That's why he says he's not ready for dating yet. And I think he's probably right. There's only one thing that really matters to him, not room in his head for a girl. But damn, if you can stop being distracted by how it feels when he poses you like a doll, tells you how to stand... actually listen to what he's saying, he's a really good teacher. Like that Blake kid who can tell you off the top of his head that Christmas Day 1405 was a Tuesday, he's smart. But that doesn't mean he can do normal stuff as well."

"You want me to forgive him?"

"No. I just want you to understand. You can't read between the lines with him, because nothing's there. If you ask him to teach you basketball, he wants to teach you basketball. He'd never imagine that you mean something else. He should know better, but he doesn't. Hugo Eisen got a long way to grow up before he's anyone's boyfriend. If you're going to resent him, then hate him for being a childish sports nerd who couldn't be the guy you needed. Not some scary ex who wanted things he's probably never even imagined."

She didn't say anything else, and turned back to looking. We checked out everything a smart older guy might want. Assistants in a few shops asked if we were shopping for a gift for Dad, and I tried to keep my emotions in check then. And in the end, she settled on getting him a fancy phone case that looked like an old fashioned leather wallet. It even had a space to hold a photo; and we made an effort to take a suitable photo of Nadine. Holding up a plush spider that had been dangling for her bag for the last few weeks, and apparently had some significance to the two of them. Something her father would have been happy to have in his wallet, and maybe a sign that my friend was old enough now to make a choice that was both practical and sentimental.

Before we headed home, she asked when I was playing basketball again. Promised she'd come to watch. And I caught the subtext there; that she would try to understand what had happened between them, so she didn't have to keep avoiding Hugo for the rest of her life.

Somehow I'd become the adult in the room again, and I didn't like it as much as I might have expected.