Mending Broken Hearts

Epilogue

I looked down at the chubby little human in my arms, whose eyes were tightly closed now, and couldn't help but fall in love with her innocence. Holding her in my arms and taking in her baby scent over the last 2 days had awoken something inside me. A maternal desire, which I always knew I had. I was never going to be one of those women who were hyper focused on their careers, and balked at the thought of children. Having grown up in a bustling household, I always pictured myself creating one of my own someday.

Though, for some reason Omar kept avoiding that topic. I assumed it was because of how busy we had become lately, and it wasn't like I was in a rush either. I really did want to enjoy my time with just the two of us before we complicated our lives with diapers, and midnight feedings. But having Ayah stay with us, had reminded me of the one thing that could make my life even better than it already was. 

A few minutes later I placed the sleeping toddler back in her playpen and stepped out of our bedroom. 

The invigorating aroma of freshly brewed coffee instantly awakened my senses, as did the sight of my shirtless husband standing next to the floor-to-ceiling living room window taking in the gorgeous sunrise over Lake Michigan, his well defined muscles on full display. 

"Put a shirt on," I told him playfully, wrapping my arms around his waist. "You are too good-looking to be standing here half naked"

"Oh yeah?" he stepped back from the window pulling me with him, and bit his lower lip seductively. "How good-looking am I?"

I knew what he was trying to do; make me say things that would then lead to us doing things, because I had zero self-control once he turned his charm on. 

"I am not going to fall for your tricks, besides we have a toddler in the house," I tried to resist him, as he lowered the strap of my tank top and bent down to kiss my bare shoulder.

"As if her parents are not having fun right now," he breathed out, pulling me into his lap.

I hoped to God they were. They were too good for each other to not have their marriage work. But right then my husband's sultry kisses on my heated skin were taking me places where I was only concerned about not moaning loud enough to wake up the sleeping toddler we were babysitting. 

"Ok, ok, that wasn't a challenge," I chuckled, pushing Omar back, already breathless from the feelings he had invoked in me. 

He laughed, "Admit it. You can't resist me."

"You know, I can't," I sighed, resting my head against his chest as I nestled into his lap, feeling the secure embrace of his tightened arms around me. That's precisely why I couldn't bring myself to leave him. 

Living without him was simply unimaginable for me.

As usual, Omar read my mind, or my eyes as he always said, and gently kissed the top of my head, "Talk to me, Madi. What are you thinking?" 

My decision was made, and surrounded by his affection it wasn't a difficult one. "I am going to decline the fellowship offer from St Louis. I am not leaving you - I can't," I told him and closed my eyes. 

He pressed his cheek against my head and stayed there for a few moments, before softly saying, "I don't want you to go either. But I think you should."

I sat up, surprised at his words. That is not what I thought he would say, "You do? Why?"

"Let me ask you this. If you were not married to me, would you have accepted that position?"

He already knew what my answer to his question would be, he wouldn't have said what he said otherwise. Over the last few months, inspired by Omar's research with COVID and my own experiences in the pandemic, I had decided to pursue a fellowship in Infectious Diseases. The University in St Louis was one of the best places in the country for that subspeciality training. They had offered me a position starting in Summer 2021. But Omar would only be in his third year of residency then, and would have to stay in Chicago for at least another year.