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Mattheo's past

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Mattheo's past ...
scared of my father.
scared of what he will do to me.
he hurts me.
i hate it.
i have scars all over my body, my mother says they will be there forever.
my father kills people.
he is evil.
i was in the garden and i was picking roses too give to my mother as a gift.
she must have saw me picking them.
don't be fooled by her jewelry, her makeup, her  fake tender sweetness, her knockoff persona
she was an evil person too. i always hoped not to be like them.
she came up to me furiously, standing over me, giving off the persona that she was superior, more than i am. she always had to be better than everyone else.
snatching the roses out of my hand, casting a spell from her hand, the roses was set a-lit, you could see my heart shatter in my dark inky eyes, you could feel it in the air, letting it sink into your skin
a grin casted upon her face, her ugly teeth peeking through, keeping my face emotionless, like i have practiced since i was born.
dropping the ashes on the ground, my last bit of love burned with the roses and fell onto the ground.
my love for her was dead. just like the roses.
tears pricking at my dark eyes, swallowing back the tears that fought to release themselves.

you see i was pure once, i had a pure heart, i was kind, wanted to make others happy, i was a good person

my mother spoke, most kids would be comforted by there mothers voice, happy, contended, jovial, joyous.
but i was the opposite, i wasn't all that. i was sorrowful, dejected, miserable, scared of what she might say this time to destroy my already dead heart.

i was just a child. i was 10.

"you stupid child" she shook her head, scowling, "you are a disgrace, a disgrace to this world, you can't be nice to get your way through life, you have to be cruel, evil, and you will get everything you desire. you need to be just like your father, you need to be as great as him. stop being nice. you will never feel loved, you have no love in you, you don't feel anything" she snapped at me, my father watching from the balcony. emotionless as usual.

later that day my father called me too his office, sitting there, his long dark rode, hands on the table clasped together.
"sit down... mattheo" he was holding back from saying something.
"i would call you my son, but i think we already know why i'm not."

i did feel things once. never love. i never got to experience that, or happiness. i tried to love my mother and father. but they only hated me more for that. i never got to experience someone loving me, no one has the heart to do so.
i don't mind.
i have other important things to focus on

"mattheo, you will never be capable of feeling love, emotions, feelings, you will take my place when you get to my ranking, till you become superior"

from then on, i started not to feel things or emotions, it felt so long, that i forgot what it felt like to feel things, emotions, anything,
wanting so bad to please my so called "family" and i did please them eventually.
it took me 6 years, and still growing to be better, better than him.
he is gone now.
i smile at the thought.
i will be better than him.
i will rule the entire wizarding world
no love. no emotions. no feelings. no friends, just death eaters who do what i ask of them. having full control over everyone and everything, power, was the only thing that i was taught that mattered, that made me happy, power.

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