Irish Oxytocin

Truth | 14

❁ Chapter 14 ❁

It was Friday evening. Two days after I last spoke to Nolan.
I was lying down in bed. I had my wax melt burner plugged in, so strong scents of vanilla and coconut filled the room around me. The sun had set a little over an hour ago, so I left my blinds open to let the moon light up as much of the room as possible. Silhouettes of the trees from the front of the house blanketed all over my room.
I had just gotten out of the shower. I was only in an oversized tee that belonged to Daniel and had my hair clipped back. My laptop was spread over my lap as I typed away on this weekend's homework.

The gang had gone out to a movie. I know they invited Nolan, so I stayed in. I'm pretty sure Aaliyah and Jamie texted me a million times asking me to join them, but I wasn't really up for the whole awkward two hours I'd have to sit through.
Ella and the boys didn't bother me considering the circumstances. Chase made a slight attempt but dropped it quickly. I think he's just trying to set Nolan and me up. Sounds like him.
It was getting late, so I decided it was enough to work for tonight. I closed my work on Google classroom and shut down my laptop. As I placed it on my night table, I heard the front door open. Mom was working until the AM, so I knew it was Daniel.

I pulled the covers off my body and jumped out of bed.
"Dani', how was-"

Just then, my door creaked open. I paused mid-step as he walked in the door frame.

"Hey," Nolan said softly.
"Uhhh..." I stuttered.
My eyes were wide with confusion. Well, that's not who I thought it was.

"Nolan, what're you doing here?" I wondered.
"We need to talk," he pushed.

I finally felt my legs come back in control with my brain, and I walked across the room.

"Talk then," I snapped slightly.
He closed my door and sat on my bed.
"You didn't come tonight because of me, right?" He asked.
"Is the movie over?" I asked in return, avoiding the question.

"No," he admitted.
"I left early because fixing whatever is going on between us is more important to me than some stupid movie."

I had my back toward him as I messed with things around my room.

"Please, Cora," he pleaded.

I took a deep breath. I knew it was time to make a decision. Do I let us talk it out knowing I'll let him back in, or do I tell him to get out for the final time?
I thought for a moment.

"Cora, I will burn this entire fucking world to the ground with everyone in it before I ever let anyone do this to you again."

I stood there conflicted. How could something so good be so bad for my heart?
I turned around to face him, fighting back anger-stemmed tears. He was the devil. Nolan Gallagher was my own personal demon sent to me from hell. He was everything I tried so hard to stray away from. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to scream at him and tell him I wish never came from Ireland. I wanted to yell and cry and tell him he should've never spoken to me.
That he should've stayed to his word and avoided me no matter how badly he didn't want to.
I wanted to push him and tell him to get the fuck out of here once and for all because for a moment it felt like I only ever felt pain when he was around.

But, then I knew that wasn't true.
How could I ignore the good? How could I ignore the feeling I felt when he was around, or how I felt the day he arrived?
He was everything I didn't want, but everything I needed.
I didn't hate him. Not even a little bit. No ounce of me wants him to walk out that door and never see him again. The parts that want to push him also want to hug him and tell him how thankful I am that he arrived in America when I needed someone most.
So, instead of asking him to leave...