More to Love

One

Genevieve

I don't think I have ever been this nervous. My sister sent her driver to pick me up because she thinks I'm a child. I can take care of myself because I'm big right now, but I accept the ride regardless.

I double check my list of questions I need to ask. That was some good advice Scarlett gave me, only problem was it was all I could think about in class today.

I didn't know anything about littles or caregivers; or that I was one. A little that is. I just tried to bury my little tendencies. I thought I loved kids so I babysat and played with them. I did a co-op in high school with a kindergarten class. Everyone was shocked that I didn't go to school to be a teacher or something but I learned as an adult I had to repress my urges to play and be carefree so it was easier to stay away. That's why I chose law. Grownups become lawyers and they are very professional.

It wasn't until my sister told me about her little; Briella, that I finally started piecing it all together. I wanted to meet her instantly so I could ask questions and figure out if what I knew in my heart was true. It didn't take me long to slip in their presence; my sister, her wife and Bri.

They said they would take care of me and help me find a caregiver, but I don't think my sister was expecting one to fall in her lap. They went on vacation and I refused to go. I thought I could take care of myself for one long weekend but I was wrong. Scarlett could tell on the phone that I had slipped and sent her assistant to check on me.

Fast forward to us spending the weekend together and meeting her husband. They took care of me and made me feel safer than I have in a long time. I was little all weekend and I'd be lying if I said today wasn't hard. I'm so excited to see them. I'm a little early, but I'm hoping Scarlett won't mind.

"Here you go, Miss James." The driver says from the front seat.

"Thank you." I make sure you grab all my stuff and get out carefully so I don't drop anything.

I walk inside and head straight for the front desk. "Hi! I'm Genevieve James, I'm heading up to Scarlett Adams office." I point at the elevator awkwardly as the guy behind the desk scowls at me.

"Go on then." He looks away instantly and starts typing on his computer. I stick my tongue out at him and turn on my heels towards the elevator. The ride takes forever because my sister is pretentious and has her office on the top floor.

As soon as the office doors open I see Kelly walking from the kitchen. She has a bunch of files in one hand and a steaming coffee in the other. I start smiling like an idiot when her eyes meet mine and she shows me her breathtaking smile.

"Hi honey." Kelly sets everything down and comes to give me a hug. I hug her back and take a deep breath, smelling her perfume. She smells so good.

"Hi." I mumble into her shoulder, loving the physical contact. It's my love language.

"Come on, I know where all the good snacks are." Kelly takes my hand and leads me through the office to a small kitchen. Kelly smiles at me as she reaches to a high shelf and grabs a box of cookies. I tilt my head in confusion. Why do they hide cookies if it's just Kelly and Scarlett using this office?

"We have to keep them out of Briella's reach or she will eat them all." Kelly makes a funny face at me and I have to really fight not to slip. She makes it easy.

"Stop!" I giggle and then cover my mouth. I clear my throat and try to collect myself.

"Sorry honey, I didn't even think about it. Here, I'll grab you a drink. What would you like?" Kelly hands me a plate with three cookies on it and turns to the fridge.

"Milk please." Kelly nods to me and grabs the milk carton from the fridge, pouring me a glass. Kelly sits beside me and drinks her coffee while I start eating my cookies. It's quiet, but it's not awkward. Kelly has a way of making me feel calm, often without words. I think it's just her presence.

"Did you have a good day at school?" She brushes my hair away from my face and I lean into her touch.

"Good." I whisper and stuff another cookie into my mouth. It isn't lost on me that this is how parents on tv and movies act. The good ones, the ones that love their kids and show it.

My parents weren't bad people. I think they love my sister and me, but they never really showed it. They were too wrapped up in their own shit and each other, and didn't have time for us. When they found out Scarlett was a lesbian, they asked her what they did wrong. Like it was the worst thing that could happen to them. After that her relationship with them was strained, and by proxy, so was mine. Who would pick their parents who never gave them the time of day, over the sister who was 9 years older and practically raised them?

It totally makes since that she would be a caregiver. She's been doing it her whole life.

I finished my cookies and helped Kelly clean up our mess. "Why don't you go say hi to Scarlett? I'm going to put these files away and then we can head out."

"Okie." I skip towards Scarlett's office and stop myself. Staying big is harder than I thought.

I knock on the door, and enter when I hear a quiet come in. I'm a little surprised when I find Briella nursing with Scarlett. Not that I didn't know they did that, but I'm surprised they are doing it at her work.

"Hey Gen, you heading out with Kelly?"

"She's just putting away some files." I mumble as I look anywhere but my sister's exposed breast. I don't need to see that.

"I invited you all over for a play date with Bri on Saturday." My eyes snap up to Scarlett and her eyes are already on me. She's rocking slightly side to side in an effort to make Briella sleep I assume.

"All?"

"You, Kelly and Henry."

"Oh."

"Do you not want me to invite everyone?" Scarlett's head tilts to the side as she watches me. I shift on my feet, trying to calm my nerves.

"I haven't had a talk with them yet. What if they don't want me?" I start chewing on my fingers.

"They want you, sweetie. They wouldn't be taking you out for dinner if they didn't. You just have to talk to them." Scarlett unlatches Bri and places the pacifier in her mouth.

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right." Scarlett carries Bri over to the couch and lays her down. "Everything is going to be okay." Scarlett brings me into her arms and kisses my head.

For the first time in a long time, I believe that.