A Splash of Spirit

January Blues

It was always this time of year when I felt most empty; like a soulless body walking around with no ambitions or motives, everything I touched turned black and white.

I had an extreme case of the January blues, in June.

Everyone in my family would always tell me a joke expecting me to hysterically laugh as usual but recently it would ache my cheeks to merely force a little grin. I needed something that would cure my pain. Something to fill my dull body with adventure, but where will I find it?

My name is Hazel, it means light - which is ironic because I feel quite dim. I live in Brighton which is known for its freedom, full of drugs takers, hippies, free spirits and fun. But frankly Im not having any of it. My life is lifeless, it consists of envy, emptiness and boredom.

Is was a cloudy Wednesday morning in school. It was registration and as usual I was sitting by myself with my headphones in, everyone classed me as 'antisocial' .

Over the years I realised that it was very rare to find some one my age worth talking to; everyone just wanted to fit in with the crowd, be your average teenager but i didn't want that. While every one else listened to the top 40, I listened to indie; while everyone wore colours, I wore black. Im the type of person who is intrigued by politics, conspiracy theories, zombies, sci-fi and long meaningful discussions. While everyone else gossiped and whaled because they thought their crushed looked at them I sat with my feet up and observed, trying to figure what went wrong with they're childhoods.

My form tutor was a tall, 30 year old guy with quirky, nerdy glasses, his hair was short back and sides and he whore a classic bow tie that everyone used to mock (but I secretly thought it was classic).

"Settle down class" repeated sir desperately, the whole class continued their pointless conversations while I faced him eager to hear what he was going to say.

"Zac, stop talking please" said sir, now appearing to be hurt by the lack of respect my class seemed to have for him.

" So theirs all these people around me talking but you choose to shout at me? You see sir" Sir pretended not to hear him successfully avoiding confrontation.

"Shhh! Let sir speak man." Shouted the loudest person in the back.

The whole class immediately fell silent as if sir hadn't been desperately tying to get their attention for what seemed like hours.

" Ok guys today seems like as good of a day as any to write a list of all the things you would like to have had accomplished by the end of this year" sir looked around the room as if he was expecting us to have all jumped out of our seats with excitement.

" There is paper in front of you so if you would like to start to write your lists.." He mentioned as if we had a choice.

I stared down at my empty piece of paper and started to imagine my perfect year. I simply grinned and wrote in fancy writing ' Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll' I know how corny that sounds but I didn't care. This was more than just a list, it was a personal deal I made with myself; all my life i've been the observer witnessing everyone living they're fun lives. Im 16 now, and this my time to shine.