I don't know what to call this

Queeries and Quality time

Ellery
The nurse shooed me out of the room after a while. I'm back in Asters room, sitting in the corner near the window. I have my computer on my lap and I'm trying to catch up on all the schoolwork I missed when I was- gone. Sage did some of it, bless her. I'm going to smother them in gifts and apologies when I can. I find myself opening a new tab and typing. I delete it and quickly switch it back to my school tab. Did I seriously type that? Get your act together Ellery. Okay, just try to focus on school. I click back onto the tab. This won't get me answers. It might be worth a shot- no. I go back to my schoolwork. This reminds me of years ago. I definitely didn't get answers then- um- moving on. I get some work done then go back. I start typing again. I feel like I'm 7 again. This is stupid. It won't hurt anyone this time. It feels like im 7 again. Oh god it feels like im 7 again. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking. It's just one thing. No one will know or even care. My fingers hover over the keyboard as I type 'polya-'. I stop and shove my computer off of my lap. It falls to the floor with a loud thud that makes me jump. I'm shaking heavily and my breathing feels restricted. My chest is tight. Fuck. Tears start forming in my eyes. I try to blink them away but more gather. I put my knees up and hug them to my chest. I cant think. It's all too much. Oh god. I start rocking back and forth slightly. No. No no no no no! No. No- i cover my mouth, trying to be quiet as I cry. I'm so scared. Why would I do this. Why did I do this? Didn't I learn from last time? I'm so stupid. This is so stupid. I'm so stupid. Why would I- how could I- am I that much of an idiot!? I crying and I feel so stupid for it. I can't breathe and I can't stop crying. Why am I like this?
Jamie
My lovely wife and I are walking to our amazing son's (and his pretty amazing semi-boyfriend's) room to replace their flowers. I hate to admit it but I miss that kid when they're gone. Which, is understandable when he goes to college but annoying when he's just a drive away. Daniella and I got a hotel room so we could be closer after the whole- everything. I thought we should get them a vibrant bouquet but Daniella insisted that we pulled off the road and picked some. She's really cute, but also very reckless when it comes to cars. The flowers consist of: ox-eye daisies, yarrow, purple coneflowers, and a few others I don't recognize. She also decided to add some tall grasses because it 'looks better', I can't tell the difference. While she was picking them, a bee mistook her shirt for a real flower. Her shirt was printed with sunflowers and the bee landed right in the middle of one. She didn't want to scare it so she just stood there. I was more worried about her getting stung than the bee's feelings. I guess I'll let it pass since she's so sweet. She's holding the flowers now, with dirt all over her overalls (another story for another time). She looks as excited as I feel to see them again. She holds the flowers in one hand. A perfect chance to attack. I grab her hand and put it to my mouth to kiss it. It tastes like dirt. She smiles at me and I give her a small smile in return. I'm so lucky. I still can't believe that she's my wife. What on earth did I do to deserve this amazing woman? She's still smiling, so I kiss the dimple on her cheek. She looks surprised, then I see her cheeks redden. She smirks (or at least I think it's a smirk, I can't see the other half of her face) and whispers, "you have to knock." NOoOoOooo. I don't want to knock on that door. What if my knock sounds weird? She kisses my cheek. "Ugh, fine," I give in. I quickly knock on the door. No one responds.  I look at Daniella in question and then knock again. No response. That's...weird. I look at her again and she nods. I reach for the handle and turn it carefully, slowly opening the door. My heart breaks for what's inside. A sobbing Ellery sits on a chair, gasping for air. I rush inside but make sure not to stand too close to them. Daniella follows me, I can tell she's worried too.
I speak softly, "Ellery?" They don't respond. He doesn't even look up. He's covering his mouth, trying not to make a sound. Oh you sweet child, sometimes we are too alike. Daniella looks at me and sets the flowers down on the nearest surface. I take a step closer to my son.
"Ellery? Ellery, kid, it's me. Can you hear me?" I ask. He looks up at me slightly and then puts their head in their knees. I take another careful step forward.
"Ellery? Is it alright if I touch you?" I ask again. He gives me a slight nod. I slowly and gently put a hand on their shoulder. Daniella watches us. I take a deep breath. "Kid? Should we go to a different room?" I ask. They shake their head. "Alright, can you breathe?" I ask again. They shake their head. I look at my wife. She starts fussing through the myriad of things we brought here for the boys. I turn back to my child. "Ellery, are you having a panic attack or an anxiety attack?" I question. He just looks up at me. I try to do my best, warm smile for them. My wife comes back with a blanket and drapes it over our sons shoulders. They wrap up in it. "Wanna breathe together?" He nods and holds a shaking hand out. I grab it and hold it steadily. I begin taking big, deep breaths in hopes that they follow along.