Errant

The Game

Days pass. We don't see Ryker again, but I see him in my dreams every night. Fortunately, sleep is becoming a rare commodity, and my nightmares are held at bay by the daytime ones. Our training speeds into overdrive with the addition of the extra target practice, and I have little time to think about anything but the upcoming trials. 

When I do get the chance to rest it usually involves Rowan dragging me from any reprieve I might have had to stick my legs in the lake downstairs, or just sit for long swaths of time while the rush of the water paralyzes me. The only thing he hasn't done quite yet is throw me in.

Today, with the rare chance to rest, I ignore the work I should be doing in the library and plant myself in a chair in the common room. If I have my way, I won't move from this chair until at least tomorrow morning.

On the rare occasion that we are allowed to slow down and regroup, I miss Oliver so much that my chest aches. Since sleep only brings more nightmares, I take to following my friends around. The small happiness that they bring is enough to take my mind from my brother and the insurmountable task of staying alive, even if it is brief.

I watch Mara destroy Quinn in a violent card game, trying to keep a smile from my face. If I smile, Mara will take it as an indication that I am to be her next victim, and right now I am content to let my poor friend take one for the team.

Quinn moans as Mara sweeps another pile of cards away, her small face all glee. "Again," she cackles as she reshuffles the cards. Quinn flops down onto the floor petulantly.

"No," he says. "Why is this even fun? There's no challenge for you."

Mara continues to smile nastily.

"That's exactly why it's fun," she says. I can tell from her face that this game will continue for as long as she can bully Quinn into playing it.

Another groan from Quinn. He sits up again, and I take a moment to admire his resilience. Claire sits in a chair across the room from me, deciding she had had enough fun after the third round. Quinn is definitely the most stoic of our group.

Mara hands Quinn his cards, and I catch Claire's eyes from across the room. I mirror her wry smile, and we both point at Mara while Quinn's gaze is focused on his cards. I'm still moderately irritated at Mara for her stunt with the crossbow, but I have too much on my plate right now to worry about Mara's behavior.

Mara slams her hand down on the pile of cards, and for a second I jump, thinking I see a flash of light. I blink and shake my head, but the light is gone. My imagination pulling things from my fear again, nothing more. But all it would take is one good flash in front of Morran, and I will be the next Ryker.

"Not again," Quinn moans as Mara sweeps the cards away. "At least give me a chance!"

"Not happening," she says, setting another card down. "I'll forge you into a warrior yet." More moans from Quinn, but I can't get my mind to focus on the game anymore. I wonder if Ryker is dead.

"Kess!" I jump again as I hear Quinn's voice. "Snap out of it and come help me."

Reluctantly I leave my perch in the chair and stumble over to sit on the floor next to Quinn, yawning as I cross my legs. "Do you even sleep anymore?" Quinn asks. Mara begins to giggle from her seat, the cards like liquid as she shuffles them.

"Easier for me," she says, and passes out the cards, ignoring my glare in the process. The game is a violent and painful ordeal, but it does little to clear my mind.

Mara slams her fist down on top of mine as we both reach for a pile of cards, and I swear. The room begins to shift in my vision, and I can see a sparkling so faint it's almost invisible.

But it's there. I draw my hand back like I've been branded and let Mara take the pile of cards. My heart beats in double time now as the game continues. A small slip. Nothing more than a card game, but my frustration is enough to bring it out.

I throw down another card, ignoring the spinning in my head. Ryker's incident was no more than a small slip, blown out of proportion by his fear of Morran. It could be me next if I don't figure out how to control this.

I get a lucky shot in on the pile of cards and sweep away the next round. Mara's cackling ends and the tempo of the game increases. I watch Mara's actions become more and more wild as she flails to get every last card. Even with so little sleep, my cool-headedness begins to show as my pile of cards grows and Mara's shrinks. It is control— the same control that Mara and Morran so severely lack.

I realize that my survival boils down to this. If I have no control, I will be an easy target. My only hope now is to learn enough about my Errant powers that I can willingly hide them. Otherwise I am just a time bomb, waiting to go off.

I slam my hand down on the last pile of cards, and Mara's swearing is a sight to behold. Claire and Quinn— who lost earlier in the round— cheer and engulf me in a hug. We go down in a laughing, tangled mess of trainees.

Through the laughter and complete violation of my personal space, I realize that this can be done. I can find a way to live as an Errant in the Resistance. I can keep my new home and still search for Oliver. I can live this lie. I have to.